10% Happier with Dan Harris

How (And Why) To Lose Yourself | Jay Garfield

<p><em>New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers.</em></p> <p><em>---</em></p> <p><br /></p> <p>Today's episode looks at one of the hardest Buddhist principles to grasp— the notion that the self is an illusion. Many people get stuck on the misunderstanding that they don't exist. They look in the mirror and say, "Of course I exist. I'm right there." And that's true, you do exist, but just not in the way you think you do. </p> <p><br /></p> <p>Today's guest, Jay Garfield explores this notion by arguing that you are indeed a person just not a self— a principle that can simultaneously feel both imponderable and liberating. </p> <p><br /></p> <p>Jay Garfield is the Doris Silbert Professor in the Humanities and Professor of Philosophy, Logic, and Buddhist Studies at Smith College and a visiting professor of Buddhist philosophy at Harvard Divinity School. He is the Author of multiple books, including his latest, which is called, <a href= "https://press.princeton.edu/books/hardcover/9780691220284/losing-ourselves" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank"><em>Losing Ourselves: Learning to Live without a Self</em></a><em>.</em></p> <p><br /></p> <p>In this episode we talk about: </p> <p><br /></p> <ul> <li>The difference between a person and a self</li> <li>The problems with being taken by the illusion of selfhood</li> <li>Why he believes the illusion of self is <em>not</em> an evolutionary design flaw</li> <li>The many benefits of "losing ourselves"</li> <li>How to actually lose ourselves</li> <li>The concept of Interconnection</li> <li>His definition of real happiness</li> <li>The difference between pain and suffering and how to have the former without the latter</li> </ul> <p><br /></p> <p><br /></p> <p><strong>Full Shownotes:</strong> <a href= "https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/jay-garfield-487" rel= "noopener noreferrer" target= "_blank">https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/jay-garfield-487</a></p>

Can You Really Conquer Hatred Through Love? | Father Gregory Boyle

<p><em>New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers.</em></p> <p><em>---</em></p> <p><br /></p> <p>The idea of loving people no matter what— no matter how obnoxious or unacceptable their behavior is can sound simultaneously treacly and downright impossible. </p> <p><br /></p> <p>But today's guest Father Gregory Boyle talks about the practicality of this idea by showing how the concept of loving no matter what can be used as a tool— not to condone bad behavior but to help see people as doing their best, no matter how unskillfully. </p> <p><br /></p> <p>Father Gregory Boyle is a Jesuit priest who founded a remarkable organization called <a href="https://homeboyindustries.org/" rel= "noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">Homeboy Industries</a>, which is the largest gang intervention, rehabilitation, and reentry program in the world. He has a new book out called, <a href= "https://www.simonandschuster.com/books/The-Whole-Language/Gregory-Boyle/9781982128326" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank"><em>The Whole Language: The Power of Extravagant Tenderness</em></a>. </p> <p><br /></p> <p><strong>In this episode we talk about:</strong></p> <ul> <li>How Homeboy Industries began 34 years ago</li> <li>Boyle's practices for working with stress </li> <li>What he means when he says you have to put death in its place</li> <li>Motivating people through joy rather than admonition</li> <li>How to catch yourself when you're about to demonize or be judgmental</li> <li>How to set boundaries</li> <li>How to dole out consequences without closing the doors to anybody</li> <li>And we talk about Father Boyle's quite expansive and inclusive notion of God</li> </ul> <p><br /></p> <p><br /></p> <p><em>Content warnings: There are mentions of sensitive topics including, sexual trauma, violence, drug abuse and domestic abuse. </em></p> <p><br /></p> <p><strong>Full Shownotes:</strong> <a href= "https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/father-gregory-boyle-486" rel="noopener noreferrer" target= "_blank">https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/father-gregory-boyle-486</a></p>

Do You Want to Be Happier or Not? | Mushim Patricia Ikeda

<p><em>New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers.</em></p> <p><em>---</em></p> <p><br /></p> <p>Oftentimes Buddhism can take a tough love, no nonsense approach to happiness by saying, if you want to be happier, sometimes you need to face hard truths. </p> <p><br /></p> <p>In today's episode we're going to talk about a Buddhist list called The Three Characteristics. These are the three non-negotiable truths about reality, which you have to see and understand in order to be happy. Granted, when looked at from a certain angle, these truths, or characteristics of reality can suck at times. But do you want to see the truth of things or not? Do you want to be happier or not?</p> <p><br /></p> <p>Our guide through these three characteristics is the mighty Mushim Patricia Ikeda. Mushim has a background in both monastic and lay Buddhist practice and is a core teacher and community director at the <a href="https://eastbaymeditation.org/about/staff/" rel= "noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">East Bay Meditation Center</a> in Oakland, California. This is her <a href= "https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/mushim-patricia-ikeda-344" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">second appearance on the show</a>. </p> <p><br /></p> <p><br /></p> <p><em>Content Warning: This episode briefly mentions child loss.</em></p> <p><br /></p> <p><br /></p> <p><strong>In this episode we talk about: </strong></p> <p><br /></p> <ul> <li>The three characteristics, alternatively known as the three Dharma seals</li> <li>Our conflicted relationship to change </li> <li>Our brain's tendency to focus on the negative</li> <li>Practices that can help with handling change more effectively</li> <li>How not taking your thoughts so personally can build your resilience</li> <li>And why Mushim believes that universal non-discriminating love is synonymous with Nirvana</li> </ul> <p><br /></p> <p><br /></p> <p><strong>Full Shownotes:</strong> <a href= "https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/mushim-patricia-ikeda-484" rel="noopener noreferrer" target= "_blank">https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/mushim-patricia-ikeda-484</a></p>

Four Ways to Boost Your Mindfulness Muscle | Joseph Goldstein

<p><em>New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers.</em></p> <p>---</p> <p>These days, the word mindfulness has become a buzz phrase but very often people don't know what the word actually means, much less how to practice it. One simple definition of mindfulness is the ability to see what's happening in your mind without getting carried away by it. The benefits of doing so are vast and profound— from decreased emotional reactivity to being more awake to what's actually happening in your life.</p> <p>Today's guest Joseph Goldstein talks about a classic Buddhist list called the four foundations of mindfulness, which lays out various techniques for developing mindfulness within your practice.</p> <p><br /></p> <p>Goldstein is one of the premier western proponents of Mindfulness. He co-founded the legendary <a href= "https://www.dharma.org/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target= "_blank">Insight Meditation Society</a> alongside Sharon Salzberg and Jack Kornfield. He also wrote a book called <a href= "https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/17689433-mindfulness" rel= "noopener noreferrer" target="_blank"><em>Mindfulness: A Practical Guide to Awakening</em></a>.</p> <p><br /></p> <p>In this episode we talk about:</p> <p><br /></p> <ul> <li>The historical context for the four foundations of mindfulness </li> <li>Why he thinks the Buddha loved lists</li> <li>Why the Buddha placed mindfulness of the body first on the list</li> <li>The steps to mastering mindfulness of the body</li> <li>The meaning of the word embodied and how that's different from our usual mode of being in the world</li> <li>How and why to do walking meditations</li> <li>What are feeling tones and why are they important</li> <li>Practices for cultivating mindfulness of mind</li> <li>And we talk about some of the mantras that Joseph uses when teaching </li> </ul> <p><br /></p> <p><strong>Full Shownotes:</strong> <a href= "https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/joseph-goldstein-483" rel="noopener noreferrer" target= "_blank">https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/joseph-goldstein-483</a></p>

How to Break Bad Mental Habits | Carol Wilson

<p><em>New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers.</em></p> <p><em>---</em></p> <p><br /></p> <p>There are so many benefits to mindfulness with one of the biggest being the cultivation of more self-awareness. This cultivation can lead to identifying the unhelpful mental habits that can develop over the years.</p> <p><br /></p> <p>Today we're going to talk to Carol Wilson who offers very clear and practical ways that Buddhist meditation can help us turn down the volume on our unproductive mental habits and be less reactive.</p> <p><br /></p> <p>Wilson is a guiding teacher at the <a href= "https://www.dharma.org/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target= "_blank">Insight Meditation Society</a>, where for many years she has taught their annual three-month retreat. She began her insight meditation practice in 1971 in India and in the 1980s she spent a year in Thailand as a Buddhist nun. </p> <p><br /></p> <p>In this episode we talk about:</p> <p><br /></p> <ul> <li>How to be mindful throughout the day</li> <li>The concept of 360 degree awareness</li> <li>Noticing when one experiences wanting or aversion </li> <li>Why Wilson believes that the root of suffering comes from making it all about us</li> <li>How seeing torment can help us experience freedom from the self</li> <li>The benefits of reflecting on your past acts of generosity </li> <li>Bringing awareness to your motivations</li> <li>And doing a gratitude practice regularly to change the weather pattern in your mind</li> </ul> <p><br /></p> <p><br /></p> <p><strong>Full Shownotes:</strong> <a href= "https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/carol-wilson-481" rel= "noopener noreferrer" target= "_blank">https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/carol-wilson-481</a></p>

What is Sadness Good For? | Susan Cain

<p><em>New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers.</em></p> <p>---</p> <p>Many of us may have a reflexive reaction when we notice we're feeling down: we want it to go away. Maybe we think something is wrong with us and we automatically self medicate in any number of ways. But how do we square this with the fact that many of us may also really like sad movies and music? And making things even more complex, how do we compute the fact that the universe is constantly handing us opportunities to feel awe, gratitude, and joy, often at the exact same moment that sadness arises?</p> <p><br /></p> <p>What's going on with this complex and conflicted relationship we have with a perfectly normal human emotion?</p> <p><br /></p> <p>Our guest today Susan Cain has written a whole book about this called <a href="https://susancain.net/book/bittersweet/" rel= "noopener noreferrer" target="_blank"><em>Bittersweet: How Sorrow and Longing Make Us Whole</em></a>. In this book, she explores how the capacity to tune in to the inherent joy and sadness of the human situation can be a superpower for connection.</p> <p><br /></p> <p>In this episode we talk about:</p> <p><br /></p> <ul> <li>Whether bittersweetness is a skill you can hone</li> <li>The relationship between bittersweetness and the Buddhist concept of impermanence</li> <li>Why we feel embarrassed about discussing sorrow and longing </li> <li>How sadness can be transmuted into creativity, and how that creativity can lead us out of sadness</li> <li>And how America, a country founded on so much heartache, turned into, in her words, "a culture of normative smiles"</li> </ul> <p><br /></p> <p><br /></p> <p><br /></p> <p><strong>Full Shownotes:</strong> <a href= "https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/susan-cain-480" rel= "noopener noreferrer" target= "_blank">https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/susan-cain-480</a></p> <p><br /></p>

How to Outsmart Your Pain | Christiane Wolf

<p><em>New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers.</em></p> <p><em>---</em></p> <p><br /></p> <p>Sit in meditation for a few minutes and you're likely to experience pain, either physical or psychological. Hang around the meditation scene for very long, and you are likely to hear the expression, "Pain is inevitable; suffering is optional." </p> <p><br /></p> <p>And that's what this episode is all about— boosting your pain tolerance through meditation. Because pain really is inevitable, but can you reduce your suffering through mindfulness and compassion? </p> <p><br /></p> <p>Our guest today, Christiane Wolf, argues 'yes'. She is a physician turned mindfulness and compassion teacher and teacher trainer. She is an authorized Buddhist teacher in the Insight (Vipassana) meditation tradition, teaching classes and retreats worldwide, and she's also the author of ​<a href= "https://www.christianewolf.com/outsmart-your-pain/" rel= "noopener noreferrer" target="_blank"><em>Outsmart Your Pain: Mindfulness and Self-Compassion to Help You Leave Chronic Pain Behind</em></a><em>.</em></p> <p><br /></p> <p>In this episode we talk about:</p> <p><br /></p> <ul> <li>Meditation techniques that offer us a better relationship to pain</li> <li>How to work with the physicality of pain</li> <li>The stories we tell ourselves about our pain</li> <li>And seeing pain as an opportunity</li> </ul> <p><br /></p> <p><br /></p> <p><strong>Full Shownotes:</strong> <a href= "https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/christiane-wolf-rerun" rel="noopener noreferrer" target= "_blank">https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/christiane-wolf-rerun</a></p>

Why You Keep Repeating Painful Patterns | Radhule Weininger

<p><em>New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers.</em></p> <p><em>---</em></p> <p><br /></p> <p>We all have long-standing painful patterns of behavior or inner storylines that can cause us to react disproportionately or inappropriately to everyday events.  </p> <p><br /></p> <p>Today's guest, Dr. Radhule Weininger, has a term for this. She calls them longstanding recurrent painful patterns or LRPPs. </p> <p><br /></p> <p>Weininger is a clinical psychologist, psychotherapist, and teacher of Buddhist meditation and Buddhist psychology. She has a new book, <a href= "https://www.radhuleweiningerphd.com/heart-medicine" rel= "noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">Heart Medicine: How to Stop Painful Patterns and Find Peace and Freedom—at Last<em> </em></a></p> <p><br /></p> <p>In this episode we talk about:</p> <p><br /></p> <ul> <li>How to recognize a problematic pattern or when you've been "lrpp-ed"</li> <li>Why Dr. Weininger believes that Buddhism and western psychology, when practiced together, can help us deal with these recurring patterns</li> <li>Unpacking the word trauma</li> <li>The psychological term "mismatch" and how it relates to childhood trauma or hurt</li> <li>How to practice meditation in order to tolerate discomfort</li> </ul> <p><br /></p> <p><br /></p> <p><strong>Full Shownotes:</strong> <a href= "https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/radhule-weininger-478" rel="noopener noreferrer" target= "_blank">https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/radhule-weininger-478</a></p>

How to Actually Be Present | Matthew Brensilver

<p><em>New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers.</em></p> <p><em>---</em></p> <p><br /></p> <p>Today we're gonna tackle one of the best known contemplative clichés: being in the present moment and inhabiting the now.</p> <p><br /></p> <p>The present moment seems to be a state we aspire towards, but are rarely given practical information about how to actually achieve. But today's guest, Matthew Brensilver offers just that— practical information on how to achieve being present. We also explore his argument that when painful memories surface in meditation, it acts as a kind of exposure therapy that acclimates us to the things we may not want to face.</p> <p><br /></p> <p>This is <a href= "https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/matthew-brensilver-415" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">Matthew Brensilver's second appearance on the show</a>. He teaches retreats at the <a href="https://www.insightretreatcenter.org/" rel= "noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">Insight Retreat Center</a>, <a href="https://www.spiritrock.org/matthew-brensilver" rel= "noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">Spirit Rock</a> and other Buddhist centers. Before committing to teach meditation full-time, he spent years doing research on addiction pharmacotherapy at the UCLA Center for Behavioral and Addiction Medicine. Matthew is the co-author of two books about meditation during adolescence and continues to be interested in the unfolding dialogue between Buddhism and science. </p> <p><br /></p> <p><br /></p> <p>In this episode we talk about:</p> <p><br /></p> <ul> <li>What "be present" actually means</li> <li>What to do when Buddhist teachings or meditation instructions feel out of reach and when we start compulsively self-assessing against them</li> <li>What to do when a memory arises in meditation, especially a difficult memory</li> <li>The brain's tendency toward constant prediction</li> <li>The benefits of meditation retreat</li> <li>And distinguishing between true alarms and false alarms</li> </ul> <p><br /></p> <p><br /></p> <p><br /></p> <p><strong>Full Shownotes:</strong> <a href= "https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/matthew-brensilver-476" rel="noopener noreferrer" target= "_blank">https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/matthew-brensilver-476</a></p> <p><br /></p>

Run Towards the Danger | Sarah Polley

<p>Often, when you're afraid of something, the best advice is deeply counterintuitive, not to mention inconvenient: to turn toward the source of your fear.</p> <p><br /></p> <p>Today we're going to talk about the fear of confronting your own past with our guest Sarah Polley. </p> <p><br /></p> <p>Polley is an Oscar nominated filmmaker and actress who recently wrote a new book, called <a href= "https://www.penguinrandomhouseaudio.com/book/688129/run-towards-the-danger/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank"><em>Run Towards the Danger: Confrontations with a Body of Memory</em></a>. In her book, she explores the relationship between her past and present and how the two are in constant dialogue. </p> <p><br /></p> <p>In this episode we talk about: </p> <ul> <li>The story of her concussion and the unusual advice she got from a specialist that became not just a path to recovery, but a sort of personal credo, "run toward the danger"</li> <li>What we often do with our stories of childhood shame, and the immense power of talking about it</li> <li>How she has come to stop seeing her anxiety as a stop sign</li> <li>Her argument that the advice to "listen to your body" is not always the best advice</li> <li>The liberating potential of intentionally making uncharacteristic decisions</li> <li>Her path to meditation and her current practice</li> <li>And the limits of her own "run towards the danger" mantra</li> </ul> <p><br /></p> <p><br /></p> <p><br /></p> <p><strong>Full Shownotes:</strong> <a href= "https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/sarah-polley-475" rel= "noopener noreferrer" target= "_blank">https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/sarah-polley-475</a></p>

The Opposite of Depression | Samantha Boardman

<p><em>New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers.</em></p> <p><br /></p> <p>Depression is a debilitating problem both on an individual and a societal level and it has only gotten worse during the pandemic. According to the World Health Organization, depression is now one of the leading causes of disability on the planet. </p> <p><br /></p> <p>Our guest today Dr. Samantha Boardman is going to talk about what she calls the opposite of depression— something called positive psychiatry. This approach focuses on the positive things in the lives of her patients rather than just the pathologies. </p> <p><br /></p> <p>Boardman is a <a href= "https://vivo.weill.cornell.edu/display/cwid-svboardm" rel= "noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">Clinical Assistant Professor of Psychiatry at Weill Cornell Medical College</a>, which is also where she went to medical school and did her four year residency program. She later went back and got a Master's degree in Applied Positive Psychology at the University of Pennsylvania. She recently put out a book called <a href= "https://positiveprescription.com/everyday-vitality/" rel= "noopener noreferrer" target="_blank"><em>Everyday Vitality: Turning Stress into Strength</em></a></p> <p><br /></p> <p><br /></p> <p>In this episode we talked about:</p> <ul> <li>The 3 C's (factors contributing to vitality)</li> <li>The notion that our understanding of happiness does not have to be internally oriented</li> <li>How not all socializing is created equal</li> <li>Why identifying your values is important  </li> <li>The value of hobbies</li> <li>The flake factor</li> <li>And the value of failure </li> </ul> <p><br /></p> <p><strong>Full Shownotes:</strong> <a href= "https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/samantha-boardman-473" rel="noopener noreferrer" target= "_blank">https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/samantha-boardman-473</a></p>

How a Buddhist Monk Deals With Anxiety | Yongey Mingyur Rinpoche

<p><em>New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers.</em></p> <p><br /></p> <p>Anxiety has long been a massive societal issue that has spiked during the pandemic.</p> <p>In this episode, renowned Buddhist monk Yongey Mingyur Rinpoche talks in detail about how he personally works with anxiety and panic and the practices he draws upon when dealing with these states. </p> <p>Mingyur began doing long retreats in his teens and now teaches all over the world. He's written the books <a href= "https://www.indiebound.org/book/9780307347312?aff=penguinrandom" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank"><em>The Joy of Living: Unlocking the Secret and Science of Happiness</em></a> and <a href= "https://www.indiebound.org/book/9780525512547?aff=penguinrandom" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank"><em>In Love with the World: A Monk's Journey Through the Bardos of Living and Dying</em></a>. He also oversees the <a href= "https://tergar.org/about/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target= "_blank">Tergar Meditation Community</a>, a global network of Buddhist meditation centers.  </p> <p><br /></p> <p>In this episode we talk about: </p> <p><br /></p> <ul> <li>Working with strong emotions using sound and the breath</li> <li>Deconstructing your reality to make it workable</li> <li>Understanding what awareness is in a Buddhist sense </li> <li>How to make meditation free-range and available to you all times </li> <li>The simple but also tricky advice of, "stop doing and just be" </li> <li>When to take a step back or even take a break from meditation</li> <li>What Mingyur Rinpoche says is the true purpose of the practice.</li> </ul> <p><br /></p> <p><em>This interview was recorded in person at the TED conference in April of 2022, where both Yongey Mingyur Rinpoche and Dan Harris spoke.</em></p> <p><br /></p> <p><strong>Full Shownotes:</strong> </p> <p><a href= "https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/yongey-mingyur-rinpoche-472" rel="noopener noreferrer" target= "_blank">https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/yongey-mingyur-rinpoche-472</a></p> <p><br /></p>

An Episode About Anger | Jacoby Ballard

<p><em>New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers.</em></p> <p><em>---</em></p> <p><br /></p> <p>In this episode, the social justice educator and activist Jacoby Ballard talks about a universal, or near universal, issue: anger. And, he offers us two mental skills that can help channel anger into something even more powerful and effective. Those skills are forgiveness and equanimity. </p> <p><br /></p> <p>Ballard is a meditation and yoga teacher and the author of a new book called, <a href="https://jacobyballard.net/book/" rel= "noopener noreferrer" target="_blank"><em>A Queer Dharma: Yoga and Meditations for Liberation</em></a></p> <p><br /></p> <p><em>Content Warnings: There are some brief references to sensitive topics, including trauma and suicide. </em></p> <p><br /></p> <p>In this episode we talk about: </p> <p><br /></p> <ul> <li>How he went from an activist largely fueled by anger to a dharma teacher with a very different approach</li> <li>The sometimes useful role of anger in activism and the danger of being stuck in anger mode</li> <li>The subtle but powerful move of getting in touch with what is beneath our anger</li> <li>Using annoyance as a jumping off point for inner investigation</li> <li>Ways to work with anger and learning to discharge the energy in our body </li> <li>Forgiveness, including forgiving ourselves</li> <li>Getting over our need to be right</li> <li>Equanimity, or as Jacoby calls it, his "tussle with equanimity"</li> </ul> <p><br /></p> <p><br /></p> <p><strong>Full Shownotes:</strong> <a href= "https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/jacoby-ballard-470" rel="noopener noreferrer" target= "_blank">https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/jacoby-ballard-470</a></p>

A Mystery That Matters | Anil Seth

<p><em>New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers.</em></p> <p><em>---</em></p> <p><br /></p> <p>How, on this planet, did we go from molten lava and shifting tectonic plates to sentient beings? How are you awake and aware right now? Who and where and what exactly is the "you" that is experiencing everything?</p> <p><br /></p> <p>Guest Anil Seth says that exploring these questions can lead to real and radical changes in your life, including reducing your emotional reactivity.</p> <p><br /></p> <p>Seth is a <a href= "https://profiles.sussex.ac.uk/p22981-anil-seth" rel= "noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">Professor of Cognitive and Computational Neuroscience at the University of Sussex</a>, Co-Director of the <a href="http://www.sussex.ac.uk/sackler/" rel= "noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">Sackler Centre for Consciousness Science</a> and Editor-in-Chief of <a href= "https://academic.oup.com/nc" rel="noopener noreferrer" target= "_blank">Neuroscience of Consciousness</a>. His <a href= "https://www.ted.com/talks/anil_seth_your_brain_hallucinates_your_conscious_reality" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">TED Talk</a> on consciousness has been viewed over 13 million times. Most recently, he is the author of <a href= "https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/53036979-being-you" rel= "noopener noreferrer" target="_blank"><em>Being You: A New Science of Consciousness</em></a><em>.</em></p> <p><br /></p> <p>In this episode we talk about: </p> <p><br /></p> <ul> <li>How brains give rise to consciousness </li> <li>The bundle theory of self</li> <li>The comfort in thinking of the self as impermanent</li> <li>A new way to think about emotional states</li> <li>How Seth's personal experience with long COVID has changed his own sense of self</li> <li>The question of whether we have free will</li> <li>Whether machines can be conscious – and whether we should be afraid of artificial intelligence</li> </ul> <p><br /></p> <p><br /></p> <p><br /></p> <p><strong>Full Shownotes:</strong> <a href= "https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/anil-seth-469" rel= "noopener noreferrer" target= "_blank">https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/anil-seth-469</a></p>

Five Ways to be Less Distracted | Shaila Catherine

<p><em>New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers.</em></p> <p><em>---</em></p> <p>One of the most common and insidious complaints of meditators is distraction, which can be a frustrating and difficult obstacle. Even the Buddha himself acknowledged this common problem and laid out some detailed practices for dealing with it. </p> <p><br /></p> <p>In this episode, Shaila Catherine outlines the Buddha's five strategies to help us tackle distractions, which can be applied to our meditation practice as well as other aspects of our lives.</p> <p><br /></p> <p>Catherine is a dharma teacher whose latest book is called <a href= "https://shailacatherine.com/2021/06/15/beyond-distraction/" rel= "noopener noreferrer" target="_blank"><em>Beyond Distraction: Five Practical Ways to Focus the Mind</em></a>. She is also the founder and principal teacher at <a href="https://www.imsb.org/" rel= "noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">Insight Meditation South Bay</a> and has 40 years of practice, including nine years, cumulatively, of silent retreat. Her first TPH appearance, which we called <a href= "https://radiopublic.com/ten-percent-happier-with-dan-harr-WwE9m8/s1!0f481" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">How to Focus</a>, aired in May 2021. </p> <p><br /></p> <p><br /></p> <p>In this episode we talk about: </p> <p><br /></p> <ul> <li>The Buddha's struggles with distraction</li> <li>Shaila's attempts to make the teachings of the Buddha accessible to contemporary minds</li> <li>The importance of getting to know your own thought patterns</li> <li>The counterintuitive strategy of "avoid it, ignore it, forget it"</li> <li>Replacing seduction with mindfulness</li> <li>Developing a flexibility of mind</li> <li>Why we're vulnerable to our own tendencies when we're not mindful</li> </ul> <p><br /></p> <p><br /></p> <p><br /></p> <p><strong>Full Shownotes:</strong> <a href= "https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/" rel= "noopener noreferrer" target= "_blank">https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/shaila-catherine-467</a></p>

The Science of Handling Uncertainty | Maya Shankar

<p><em>New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers.</em></p> <p><em>---</em></p> <p>It seems like a design flaw in our species that we live in a world of constant change yet most of us are not comfortable with uncertainty. </p> <p><br /></p> <p>In this episode, we talk to Maya Shankar about how to get better at dealing with change and to stop seeking what scientists call "cognitive closure."</p> <p><br /></p> <p>Shankar is a former Senior Advisor in the Obama White House, where she founded and served as Chair of the White House Behavioral Science Team. She also served as the first Behavioral Science Advisor to the United Nations, and is currently a Senior Director of Behavioral Economics at Google. She is the host of the Pushkin Industries podcast <a href="https://mayashankar.com/podcast" rel= "noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">A Slight Change of Plans</a>, which was named Best Show of the Year in 2021 by Apple. </p> <p><br /></p> <p><br /></p> <p>In this episode we talk about: </p> <p><br /></p> <ul> <li>Why humans are so uncomfortable with uncertainty and change</li> <li>What a behavioral scientist actually does in the world</li> <li>Why even the host of a podcast about change isn't immune to the uncertainties of life </li> <li>The benefits of cultivating a more malleable sense of self</li> <li>Why humans are such bad forecasters</li> <li>The importance of auditing yourself when you're undergoing a big change</li> <li>How to take advantage of big reset moments</li> <li>The concept of cognitive closure and why encouraging an open mind can make us more resilient  </li> </ul> <p><br /></p> <p><br /></p> <p><br /></p> <p><br /></p> <p><strong>Full Shownotes:</strong> <a href= "https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/maya-shankar-466" rel= "noopener noreferrer" target= "_blank">https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/maya-shankar-466</a></p>

How to Keep Friendships From Imploding | Esther Perel

<p><em>New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers.</em></p> <p><em>---</em></p> <p><br /></p> <p>"The quality of your relationships determines the quality of your life." </p> <p>These words from the legendary Esther Perel have the power to genuinely change your outlook on life. But while it's easy to hear them and immediately have your mind go to family relationships or romantic relationships, today we're going to talk about friendships. Friendships can be massive contributors to mental health. They can also, when they go pear-shaped, be the source of abundant misery. </p> <p>Today's guest is the legendary Esther Perel. Her resume is beyond impressive: She is a psychotherapist and New York Times bestselling author of books such as <em>Mating in Captivity</em>. Her TED talk has attracted more than 30 million views. She is fluent in nine languages. She is the host of the popular podcasts Where Should We Begin? and How's Work? And her latest project is called Where Should We Begin - A Game of Stories with Esther Perel. </p> <p>In this episode we talk about: </p> <ul> <li>How the pandemic has impacted our friendships</li> <li>Esther's contention that "love and commitment and intimacy don't just belong to the world of romantic couples"</li> <li>What makes friendship unique, in good ways and tricky ways</li> <li>What to consider when determining whether to confront a difficulty in a friendship</li> <li>How to conduct a self-assessment of yourself as a friend</li> <li>How systematic we should be about cultivating and maintaining our friendships</li> <li>How to reconnect with friends authentically</li> <li>Whether or not we can have platonic friendships across the gender spectrum</li> <li>How to handle friendships when you're in a romantic relationship, including friendships you share, friendships with those with whom your partner doesn't get along, and friendships with exes</li> </ul> <p><br /></p> <p><em>Content warning</em>: There are some brief references to sensitive topics, including suicide. </p> <p>*Esther Perel invites you and a colleague to apply for a session with her that will be part of the new season of her podcast <a href="https://www.estherperel.com/podcast" rel= "noopener noreferrer" target="_blank"><em>How's Work?</em></a> Her team is looking for work pairs, co-founders, colleagues, managers, or any combination to join her for a session to explore the future of work together. Apply <a href= "https://mailtrack.io/trace/link/1f323de47b14938ca470cdc74207094182841a50?url=https%3A%2F%2Fdocs.google.com%2Fforms%2Fd%2Fe%2F1FAIpQLSf5g9wn2bzjDtyP4G0GJfADl6j-H6xpDvJCLoO7gN0XI35M8A%2Fviewform&userId=5884292&signature=65a4b4ab4b22d30d" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">here</a>.</p> <p><br /></p> <p><br /></p> <p><strong>Full Shownotes:</strong> <a href= "https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/" rel= "noopener noreferrer" target= "_blank">https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/esther-perel-464</a></p>

Solutions to all of Your Moral Dilemmas | Michael Schur

<p><em>New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers.</em></p> <p>---</p> <p><br /></p> <p>Life is filled with all kinds of moral dilemmas— from the mundane to the momentous. Should I lie and tell my friend that I like her ugly shirt? Can I still enjoy great art if it was created by terrible people? How much money should I give to charity? Ultimately, does anything we do even matter?</p> <p><br /></p> <p>In today's conversation, television writer and producer, Michael Schur helps us to navigate our moral dilemmas and answer some of these difficult questions. </p> <p><br /></p> <p>Schur is best known for creating and co-creating such shows as <em>Parks and Recreation</em>, <em>Brooklyn Nine-Nine</em>, <em>The Good Place</em>, and <em>Rutherford Falls</em>. Additionally, he has worked on shows like <em>The Office</em>, <em>Master of None</em>, <em>The Comeback</em>, and <em>Hacks</em>. He is also the Author of <a href= "https://www.simonandschuster.com/books/How-to-Be-Perfect/Michael-Schur/9781982159313" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank"><em>How to Be Perfect: The Correct Answer to Every Moral Question</em></a>. </p> <p><br /></p> <p>In this episode we talk about: </p> <p><br /></p> <ul> <li>What got him started on the road to reading philosophy and studying ethics</li> <li>The so-called "trolley problem"</li> <li>Trusting your gut</li> <li>Natural states of virtue</li> <li>The evolutionary advantages of virtue</li> <li>And how white lies can be beneficial in a complicated and messy society</li> </ul> <p><br /></p> <p>This interview was recorded in person at the TED conference in April of 2022, where both Michael Schur and Dan Harris spoke.</p> <p><br /></p> <p><strong>Full Shownotes:</strong> <a href= "https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/" rel= "noopener noreferrer" target= "_blank">https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/michael-schur-463</a></p>

The Science of Emotional Intelligence | Daniel Goleman

<p><em>New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers.</em></p> <p>---</p> <p>How much would your relationships improve if you could up your emotional intelligence game? That phrase, "emotional intelligence" or EQ, entered the lexicon over 25 years ago, when Daniel Goleman wrote a book by the same name. </p> <p><br /></p> <p>In this episode, Daniel Goleman talks about the four components of emotional intelligence and how we can develop these skills in our daily lives.  </p> <p><br /></p> <p>Golman is a Harvard-trained psychologist who, along with other contemplative luminaries such as Joseph Goldstein, Sharon Salzberg and Jon Kabat-Zinn, went to Asia and discovered meditation in the 1960s— making it a huge part of their lives and careers. </p> <p><br /></p> <p>In this episode we talk about: </p> <ul> <li>The four components of emotional intelligence, how to develop them, and why these skills matter so much during the middle of a pandemic </li> <li>Empathy and relationship management in the age of zoom</li> <li>The "marshmallow test" and impulse control</li> <li>A phenomenon he calls, "amygdala hijacks"</li> <li>Why so many Jewish kids in the sixties and seventies got turned on to Buddhism  </li> </ul> <p><br /></p> <p><strong>Full Shownotes:</strong> <a href= "https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/" rel= "noopener noreferrer" target= "_blank">https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/</a>daniel-goleman-repost</p> <p><br /></p> <p><br /></p>

4 Ways Not To Be Owned By Your Sh*t | Susan David

<p><em>New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers.</em></p> <p><em>---</em></p> <p>It's completely natural when dealing with anxiety, depression, anger, shame, or any other unpleasant emotion, to just want it to go away.</p> <p><br /></p> <p>Guest Susan David says that these discomforts are the price of admission to being alive and offers an approach called emotional agility as a way to navigate them. </p> <p><br /></p> <p>Susan David, Ph.D. is a psychologist at Harvard Medical School and author of a book called <a href= "https://www.susandavid.com/about-emotional-agility#about-the-book" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">Emotional Agility</a>. Her <a href= "https://www.ted.com/talks/susan_david_the_gift_and_power_of_emotional_courage" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">TED Talk</a> on the subject has been viewed more than eight million times. </p> <p><br /></p> <p>In this episode we talk about: </p> <ul> <li>Her definition of emotional agility </li> <li>The four skills of emotional agility</li> <li>Why she says our emotions are data, not directives</li> <li>How to move skillfully through a world that "conspires against us seeing ourselves"</li> <li>How to avoid emotional "fusion"</li> <li>The power of tiny tweaks</li> <li>And "emotional granularity"— what it is, why it matters and how to practice it </li> </ul> <p><br /></p> <p><br /></p> <p><strong>Full Shownotes:</strong> <a href= "https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/susan-david-461" rel= "noopener noreferrer" target= "_blank">https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/susan-david-461</a></p>

5 Ways To Get Over Yourself | Pascal Auclair

<p>The phrase, "Get over yourself" is often used in a flippant way, but it's actually speaking to a deep human need to get out of our heads and off our own backs. At a fundamental level, this is what Buddhism is all about— seeing through the illusion of the self, which can be the source of so much of our suffering. </p> <p><br /></p> <p>In this episode guest Pascal Auclair talks about how we can unlock this suffering through the use of a foundational Buddhist list called the five aggregates. </p> <p><br /></p> <p>Pascal Auclair has been immersed in Buddhist practice and study since 1997. He has been mentored by <a href= "https://www.dharma.org/teacher/joseph-goldstein/" rel= "noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">Joseph Goldstein</a> and <a href="https://jackkornfield.com/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">Jack Kornfield</a> at the <a href= "https://www.dharma.org/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target= "_blank">Insight Meditation Society (IMS)</a> in Massachusetts and <a href="https://www.spiritrock.org/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">Spirit Rock Meditation Center</a> in California, where he is now enjoying teaching retreats. Pascal teaches in North America and in Europe. He is a co-founder of <a href= "https://www.truenorthinsight.org/index.php/en/" rel= "noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">True North Insight</a> and one of their guiding teachers.</p> <p><br /></p> <p>In this episode we talk about: </p> <p><br /></p> <ul> <li>How the five aggregates got Auclair hooked on Buddhist practice and philosophy</li> <li>The five aggregates as a way to work with difficulty</li> <li>Living with the non-negotiable prospect of dying</li> <li>Paying attention to pleasant, unpleasant and neutral feeling tone</li> <li>Meditation training as a way to understand that experiences are conditional</li> </ul> <p><br /></p> <p><br /></p> <p><strong>Full Shownotes:</strong> <a href= "https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/" rel= "noopener noreferrer" target= "_blank">https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/</a>pascal-auclair-459</p>

You Don't Have to be Miserable While Doing Important Work | adrienne maree brown

<p>Our culture has oddly conflicting views about pleasure. </p> <p><br /></p> <p>In this episode, author adrienne maree brown explores the importance of pleasure and how it changes your experience of the world. </p> <p><br /></p> <p>adrienne maree brown is the writer-in-residence at the Emergent Strategy Ideation Institute, and author of <a href= "https://www.akpress.org/grievers.html" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">Grievers</a> (the first novella in a trilogy on the Black Dawn imprint), <a href= "https://www.akpress.org/holding-change-preorder.html" rel= "noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">Holding Change: The Way of Emergent Strategy Facilitation and Mediation</a>, <em>We Will Not Cancel Us and Other Dreams of Transformative Justice</em>, <em>Pleasure Activism: The Politics of Feeling Good</em>, <em>Emergent Strategy: Shaping Change, Changing Worlds</em> and the co-editor of <em>Octavia's Brood: Science Fiction from Social Justice Movements</em> and <em>How to Get Stupid White Men Out of Office</em>. She is the cohost of the <a href= "https://www.endoftheworldshow.org/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank"><em>How to Survive the End of the World</em></a>, <a href="http://www.readingoctavia.com/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank"><em>Octavia's Parables</em></a> and <a href= "https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-emergent-strategy-podcast/id1553479340" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank"><em>Emergent Strategy</em></a> podcasts. adrienne is rooted in Detroit.</p> <p><br /></p> <p>In this conversation we talked about:</p> <ul> <li>What is pleasure activism</li> <li>The role of sex and drugs</li> <li>Why we should say yes more</li> <li>How to be in touch with our sense of "enough"</li> <li>The role of gratitude </li> <li>The line between commitment and detachment</li> <li>How she defines authentic happiness</li> <li>Her self-description as "a recovering self-righteous organizer," and why self-righteousness actually leads to powerlessness</li> </ul> <p><br /></p> <p><em>Content Warning: Discussions of sex and drugs. </em></p> <p><br /></p> <p><strong>Full Shownotes:</strong> <a href= "https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/adrienne-maree-brown-458" rel="noopener noreferrer" target= "_blank">https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/adrienne-maree-brown-458</a></p> <p><br /></p>

Time Management for Mortals | Oliver Burkeman

<p>In a culture that values persistent productivity, one can be left feeling chronically behind. </p> <p><br /></p> <p>In this episode, author and recovering time management junkie, Oliver Burkeman  encourages us to stop scrambling to fit it all in by exploring the relationship between our mortality and getting things done. </p> <p><br /></p> <p>Oliver Burkeman is the author of <a href= "https://www.oliverburkeman.com/books" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank"><em>Four Thousand Weeks: Time Management for Mortals.</em></a> Former guest Adam Grant has called it, "The most important book ever written about time management." This is Oliver's <a href= "https://radiopublic.com/ten-percent-happier-with-dan-harr-WwE9m8/s1!37090" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">second appearance on the show</a>. Burkeman joined us on the show a few years ago to talk about his other book, <a href= "https://www.oliverburkeman.com/about" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank"><em>The Antidote: Happiness for People Who Can't Stand Positive Thinking</em></a>. He also writes a bi-weekly <a href="https://www.oliverburkeman.com/the-imperfectionist" rel= "noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">email newsletter called <em>The Imperfectionist</em>.</a></p> <p><br /></p> <p>In this conversation, we talk about: </p> <ul> <li>Why accepting mortality is a crucial step in improving our relationship to time</li> <li>His conviction that it's not about being more efficient. It's about knowing what to neglect</li> <li>Patience as a superpower and the impatience spiral</li> <li>The benefits of burning bridges</li> <li>Becoming a better procrastinator</li> <li>The benefits of rest</li> <li>What he calls "cosmic insignificance therapy"</li> <li>Practical tips, such as the "fixed volume approach to productivity," the value of serialization, and strategic underachievement. </li> </ul> <p><br /></p> <p><strong>Full Shownotes:</strong> <a href= "https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/" rel= "noopener noreferrer" target= "_blank">https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/</a>oliver-burkeman-456</p>

The Likeability Trap | Alicia Menendez

<p><em>New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers.</em></p> <p>Our guest this week is Alicia Menendez, an award-winning journalist, who finds herself in a common position for many women: caring way too much about what others think of her. Be nice, but not too nice. Be successful, but not too successful. Just be likable, whatever that means. In the workplace strong women are often criticized for being cold, while warm women may be seen as pushovers. In her book, The Likeability Trap, and in this conversation, she discusses this issue and explains how and why both men and women should combat it.</p> <p><br /></p> <p><strong>In this conversation, we talk about: </strong></p> <ul> <li>The aforementioned likability trap</li> <li>The structural imbalance in feedback for women and men in the workplace</li> <li>The things for men to consider as they engage with women in the workplace</li> </ul> <p><br /></p> <p><br /></p> <p><strong>Full Shownotes:</strong> <a href= "https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/" rel= "noopener noreferrer" target= "_blank">https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/</a>alicia-menendez-212</p>

An Ace Therapist Gives Dan A Run For His Money | Dr. Jacob Ham

<p><em>New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers.</em></p> <p>---</p> <p><br /></p> <p>Sometimes part of healing trauma means learning how to be human. </p> <p><br /></p> <p>This episode is the last episode of our Mental Health Reboot series to mark Mental Health Awareness Month. Dr. Jacob Ham, who was introduced in Stephanie Foo's episode earlier this week, helped Stephanie through her case of complex PTSD and discusses how to live with the hardest things that have happened to you. </p> <p><br /></p> <p>Dr. Ham is the Director of the Center for Child Trauma and Resilience and Clinical Assistant Professor of Psychiatry at the Icahn School of Medicine at Mount Sinai. He sees children, youth, adults, and families across the age range and for a variety of issues. </p> <p><br /></p> <p>In this episode we talk about: </p> <p><br /></p> <ul> <li>What Dr. Ham says may be the "most important thing he's discovered" as a therapist</li> <li>Why he shuts down his clients' attempts to intellectualize their experiences</li> <li>Kairos versus kronos </li> <li>Why Dr. Ham says the Incredible Hulk is so important to him</li> <li>The concept of mentalization</li> <li>What it means to love exquisitely</li> <li>And whether or not we have to learn to love ourselves before we can learn to love others</li> </ul> <p><br /></p> <p><br /></p> <p><br /></p> <p><em>Content Warning: Explicit language.</em></p> <p><br /></p> <p><strong>Full Shownotes:</strong> <a href= "https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/jacob-ham-453" rel= "noopener noreferrer" target= "_blank">https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/jacob-ham-453</a></p>

How To Live With The Worst Things That Ever Happened To You | Stephanie Foo

<p><em>New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers.</em></p> <p>---</p> <p><br /></p> <p>We've all had difficult, and sometimes horrible things happen to us. </p> <p><br /></p> <p>While some people may be luckier than others, it's rare that anyone goes unscathed. This episode is part of our Mental Health Reboot series to mark Mental Health Awareness Month. </p> <p><br /></p> <p>In this episode, Stephanie Foo shares her story of being diagnosed with complex PTSD and how she learned to process her trauma and live with her past. The result of her journey is a new book called <em>What My Bones Know: A Memoir of Healing from Complex Trauma</em>. </p> <p><br /></p> <p>Stephanie Foo is a journalist and radio producer. Her previous work includes <em>This American Life</em>, <em>The Cut, Reply All,</em> and <em>99% Invisible.</em> Her writing has been featured in <em>The New York Times</em> and <em>Vox</em>. </p> <p><br /></p> <p>In this conversation we talk about: </p> <ul> <li>The various therapies, meditation styles, and wellness modalities Stephanie explored to help process her trauma</li> <li>What actually worked for her, and how it might be relevant to other survivors</li> <li>Shame, gratitude, and self-love</li> <li>Her transformative work with Dr. Jacob Ham, who will be featured in another episode this week. </li> </ul> <p><br /></p> <p><br /></p> <p><em>Content Warnings: Discussions of trauma and abuse, references to addiction and mental health challenges. Explicit language. </em></p> <p><br /></p> <p><strong>Full Shownotes:</strong> <a href= "https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/stephanie-foo-452" rel= "noopener noreferrer" target= "_blank">https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/stephanie-foo-452</a></p> <p><br /></p>

The Science of Loss and Recovery | Mary-Frances O'Connor

<p><em>New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers.</em></p> <p><em>---</em></p> <p><br /></p> <p>Very few of us will live a life without loss. </p> <p><br /></p> <p>As part of our Mental Health Reboot series in recognition of Mental Health Awareness Month, this week's episodes talk a lot about grieving. Mary-Frances O'Connor, an expert in bereavement research, explores the science of how we grieve and experience loss, whether it's a job or a loved one. </p> <p><br /></p> <p>Mary-Frances O'Connor is an Associate Professor of Clinical Psychology and Psychiatry at the University of Arizona, where she is also the Director of Clinical Training. And she is the author of a book called <em>The Grieving Brain</em>.</p> <p><br /></p> <p>In this episode we talk about: </p> <p><br /></p> <ul> <li>The distinction between grief and grieving</li> <li>How her Buddhist practice has influenced her understanding of grief</li> <li>Whether or not we can ever quote/unquote "get over it"</li> <li>Why she argues for "a really big toolkit of coping strategies" </li> <li>How to understand the work of Elizabeth Kübler-Ross today</li> <li>What grieving looks like in a pandemic</li> <li>What to say to people who are grieving</li> <li>The new diagnosis of prolonged grief disorder</li> </ul> <p><br /></p> <p><em>Content Warning: Brief mention of suicide. </em></p> <p><br /></p> <p><strong>Full Shownotes:</strong> <a href= "https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/mary-frances-oconnor-450" rel="noopener noreferrer" target= "_blank">https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/mary-frances-oconnor-450</a></p> <p><br /></p>

Loss is Inevitable. Here's How to Handle It | Kathryn Schulz

<p><em>New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers.</em></p> <p><em>---</em></p> <p><br /></p> <p>There is an unstoppable flow of gain and loss within our lives. </p> <p><br /></p> <p>Processing this flow helps us to develop equanimity. In this conversation, Pulitzer Prize-winner and <em>New Yorker</em> staff writer Kathryn Schulz discusses her new book <em>Lost and Found: A Memoir</em>, in which she explores experiencing both a huge loss anda huge gain, and how to live in a world where both happiness and pain commingle. </p> <p><br /></p> <p>In this episode we talk about: </p> <p><br /></p> <ul> <li>How humans experience grief</li> <li>A gift you can give to the grieving</li> <li>Why she loves the clichés that remind us to enjoy the moment</li> <li>Her broad understanding of the term "loss"</li> <li>Why the key word in 'lost and found' is "and" </li> <li>What she's learned about compromising in relationships</li> </ul> <p><br /></p> <p><br /></p> <p><strong>Full Shownotes:</strong> <a href= "https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/kathryn-schulz-449" rel="noopener noreferrer" target= "_blank">https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/kathryn-schulz-449</a></p>

Jonathan Van Ness on Shame, Shopping, Bodies, and Hope

<p>How do you find hope in a lifetime that has experienced more trauma than most? </p> <p><br /></p> <p>Guest Jonathan Van Ness says that the key is to stay curious and focus on happiness and joy, even if it's just in a tiny corner.</p> <p><br /></p> <p>Jonathan Van Ness is a hairstylist by trade and best known as one of the hosts of the Netflix series <a href= "https://www.netflix.com/title/80160037" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank"><em>Queer Eye</em></a>. He is also the author of <a href="https://jonathanvanness.com/books/" rel= "noopener noreferrer" target="_blank"><em>Love That Story</em></a> and the New York Times bestselling memoir <em>Over the Top,</em> and the host of the podcast <a href= "https://jonathanvanness.com/podcasts/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank"><em>Getting Curious with Jonathan Van Ness</em></a>. </p> <p><br /></p> <p>In this episode we talk about: </p> <p><br /></p> <ul> <li>The universality of processing grief</li> <li>What a "window of tolerance" means </li> <li>Getting curious about shame</li> <li>Body dysmorphia</li> <li>JVN's complex and contradictory feelings about shopping</li> <li>What "parts therapy" or Internal Family Systems therapy is</li> <li>Setting boundaries</li> <li>Connecting and cultivating joy </li> </ul> <p><br /></p> <p><em>Content Warning: Explicit language and mentions of sexual abuse, substance amuse, body dysmorphia, and references to sex.</em></p> <p><br /></p> <p><br /></p> <p><strong>Full Shownotes:</strong> <a href= "https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/jonathan-van-ness-447" rel="noopener noreferrer" target= "_blank">https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/jonathan-van-ness-447</a></p>

The Science of Hope | Jacqueline Mattis

<p><em>New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers.</em></p> <p><em>---</em></p> <p>How does hope work? </p> <p><br /></p> <p>In this episode from the archives, Rutgers University clinical psychologist <a href= "https://sasn.rutgers.edu/about-us/faculty-staff/jacqueline-s-mattis" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">Dr. Jacqueline Mattis</a> discusses hope from a scientific perspective and how we can cultivate it. </p> <p><br /></p> <p>Dr. Mattis, who is also a Dean of faculty at Rutgers, did not start her career wanting to study hope. She started out studying spirituality and religiosity, specifically concentrating her field work and interviews in African-American and Afri-Caribbean urban communities. She wanted to know why people living under high stress conditions so often choose to be good and compassionate. And that research ultimately led her to hope.</p> <p><br /></p> <p><br /></p> <p><br /></p> <p>In this episode we talk about: </p> <p><br /></p> <ul> <li>How her family history influenced her relationship to optimism and faith </li> <li>The difference between spirituality and religiosity </li> <li>The benefits of hope and skills to cultivate it</li> <li>The ways hope can go wrong</li> <li>And the benefits of denial</li> </ul> <p><br /></p> <p><br /></p> <p><br /></p> <p><strong>Full Shownotes:</strong> <a href= "https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/jacqueline-mattis-340-repost" rel="noopener noreferrer" target= "_blank">https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/jacqueline-mattis-340-repost</a></p>