The Mel Robbins Podcast

Dial Down Family Drama: 5 Ways to Reduce Conflict With the Ones You Love

<p>In this episode, you’ll get 5 effective strategies to help you improve your family dynamics, resolve almost any conflict like a pro, and create a better bond.</p><p> </p><p>Spending time with family is awesome, but it can also be challenging because, as much as you wish everyone could get along, different personalities and opinions don’t always mix well together.</p><p> </p><p>When family drama starts, don’t allow yourself to get sucked into it. You can learn how to dial down the drama and build trust and connection.</p><p> </p><p>Today I invite you to sit on the couch next to me and my family here in Vermont as our three adult kids discuss all the ways Chris and I have screwed up as parents and the things we did that built trust and brought us closer.</p><p> </p><p>I can’t wait for you to hear the truth bombs our kids are dropping. They’re shockingly insightful and will change your relationships for the better.<br /><br /><br /> </p><p>Listen, and you’ll learn:</p><p> </p><ul><li>The mistakes we (and other parents) made and how to fix them.</li><li>How to set powerful boundaries that everyone knows and respects.</li><li>The most tactical way to deal with difficult relatives and their BS.</li><li>The 6 words that increase trust in any relationship.</li><li>What to do when you repeat the same toxic relationship patterns.</li><li>5 secret words that will get your kids (or anyone) to tell you the truth.</li><li>One simple tool that makes discipline and boundaries easier for you.</li></ul><p>(and your kids)</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Share this episode with your family, and consider listening to it WITH your kids. It’ll definitely spark an interesting conversation because we get real and raw, and hold nothing back.</p><p> </p><p>If you’re looking to get closer to someone you love, this episode is exactly where you should start.</p><p> </p><p>I can’t wait to hear what you think!</p><p> </p><p>Xo, Mel</p><p> </p><p><strong>In this episode, you’ll learn:</strong></p><p><br /><br /> </p><ul><li>02:40: My daughter recently schooled me in a conversation about boundaries.</li><li>10:40: Ladies and gentlemen… my family.</li><li>13:25: A listener asks, “Are your kids really that open in real life?”</li><li>16:05: What we said to our daughter that knocked down barriers between us.</li><li>18:30: Here’s the #1 reason why kids don’t get honest with their parents.</li><li>21:30: This is how Chris and I think about the purpose of parenting.</li><li>26:00: Shouting out research around addiction so we can have compassion.</li><li>30:10: Chris shares how he became addicted to recreational drugs.</li><li>33:00: How do you start forming a good bond with your kids at an early age?</li><li>35:00: Trust us; you’re going to screw up as a parent, and it’s okay.</li><li>39:30: Expressing our emotions lets our kids know they can express theirs.</li><li>41:30: Oakley shares how seeing his dad cry impacted his life.</li><li>45:15: A listener asks: How do you get your teens to open up to you?</li><li>48:30: How do you find peace in your mistakes with your kids?</li><li>54:00: Your kid wants to leave school for a partner somewhere else: try this.</li><li>58:00: The #1 question I ask my kids when they’re struggling.</li><li>1:05:00: Know somebody in a relationship with somebody who is stifling them?</li></ul><p> </p><p> </p><p><a href="https://www.melrobbins.com/disclaimer" target="_blank">Disclaimer</a></p><br/> <p>Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See <a href="https://pcm.adswizz.com">pcm.adswizz.com</a> for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.</p>

The Shocking Science and Benefits of Taking a Simple Walk: Research From Oxford-Trained Neuroscientist Dr. Shane O’Mara

<p>In this episode, a renowned Oxford-trained neuroscientist teaches you the most incredibly simple, science-backed hack that will change every single part of your life in just 10 minutes.</p><p> </p><p>Professor Shane O’Mara, academic writer, author, and Experimental Brain Researcher at Trinity College in Dublin, walks us through the mind-blowing research behind, of all things, walking.</p><p> </p><p>You’ll be shocked to learn how the right kind of walking can lower depression and anxiety without medication.</p><p> </p><p>Professor O’Mara explains 3 different types of walking: one way will boost your creativity, another will make you more productive, and a third way will make you a rockstar problem solver.</p><p> </p><p>You’ll also learn about the incredible cognitive, mechanical, and physiological chain reaction that happens in your brain and body during a simple walk.</p><p> </p><p>The research and neuroscience will empower you to use walking to help you:</p><p> </p><ul><li>Conquer your fears.</li><li>Make your brain younger.</li><li>Reduce your stress and feel happier.</li><li>Double the number of your creative ideas.</li><li>Be more focused and productive at work.</li><li>Turn off anxious thoughts.</li><li>Decrease inflammation in your body.</li><li>Improve your relationship with yourself and others.</li></ul><p> </p><p> </p><p>If you’re short on time, bullshit. Put your earbuds in and get outside.</p><p> </p><p>Are you ready? Hit play, and let’s walk.</p><p> Xo, Mel</p><p> </p><p><strong>In this episode, you’ll learn:</strong></p><p> </p><p>05:29: Want a younger brain? Start moving.  </p><p>09:48: You won’t believe these benefits of a 10-minute walk. </p><p>11:29: Is your environment working against you? </p><p>16:28: Here’s how walking is just as good, if not better, than your antidepressant.</p><p>17:20: This is what happens when you get outside and into nature.</p><p>20:50: What the heck is a “walking mind”?</p><p>23:54: Walking makes you more creative if you do this.</p><p>31:34: Turn up your energy while you walk using this incredible metaphor.</p><p>32:56: The shocking study that explains how walking changes your personality.</p><p>36:07: Don’t have enough time for a walk? I call BS. Here’s why.</p><p>39:00: Professor O’Mara suggests your walking routine should look like this.</p><p>42:32: 5 easy ways to get in more steps every day.</p><p>47:03: This is why you want to make it a habit to walk at night.</p><p>52:06: Feel like you don’t belong? Here’s how walking can help.  </p><p> </p><p> </p><p><a href="https://www.melrobbins.com/disclaimer" target="_blank">Disclaimer</a></p><br/> <p>Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See <a href="https://pcm.adswizz.com">pcm.adswizz.com</a> for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.</p>

From PMS to Menopause: How to Hack Your Hormones and Use Science to Lose Weight, Sleep Better and Get Your Mojo Back

<p>In this episode, double-board certified Dr. Amy Shah is here to explain the science of hormones, how they impact a woman's body, and more importantly, what you can do about it.</p><p> </p><p>If you’re tired of PMS, bloating, mood swings, hot flashes, the belly "bread basket," or the brain fog of menopause... grab your pen and get ready to take notes.</p><p> </p><p>Dr. Amy, a medical doctor trained at Harvard, Cornell, and Columbia, is an immunologist and leading expert in women’s hormonal health and nutrition.</p><p> </p><p>She is here to explain it all in a way that you can understand and apply to your life. </p><p>  </p><p>Today, Dr. Amy Shah reveals:</p><p> </p><ul><li>What hormones are and how they work.</li><li>What’s going on in a woman's body from first period to menopause.</li><li>Why hormone therapy won’t help you lose weight.</li><li>What 4 things you need to help you naturally boost estrogen.</li><li>Why walking is better than HIIT or running if you’re in menopause.</li><li>3 simple changes for a better night’s sleep.</li><li>How sleeping in a pitch-dark room helps you lose weight.</li><li>How to hack your 28-day cycle for more confidence and resilience.</li></ul><p> </p><p> </p><p>I can’t wait for you to learn from Dr. Amy. You are going to feel so empowered!</p><p> </p><p>And please share this with all the women you care about in your life: your mothers, sisters, daughters, wives, and girlfriends, because we all deserve to know what the heck is going on and how to feel better in our bodies.</p><p> </p><p>Xo, Mel</p><p> </p><p>PS: For all of our readers who are men, do NOT stop reading. You have to live with us, so this will help you too. (And will make you wonderful when you forward it to all the women in your life). Plus this research and advice on hacking hormones is just downright fascinating!</p><p><br /> </p><p><strong>In this episode, you’ll learn:</strong></p><p>02:27: Why the hell do I always feel so tired? </p><p>04:52: What happens in our bodies during PMS and menopause?</p><p>09:10: Best metaphor to help you understand what’s going on in your body.</p><p>11:37: How to optimize your health in every phase of hormone change.</p><p>15:02: When in your cycle you should train and eat like an athlete.</p><p>17:03: What is really happening with your hormones during pregnancy?</p><p>21:09: Where the heck did this muffin top come from?</p><p>27:32: The top 5 health questions for Dr. Shah and her answers. </p><p>30:02: Did you know that PMS is a mini-menopause?</p><p>34:06: Why sleeping in a cold, dark room will help you lose weight.</p><p>38:42: Top 3 tricks that regulate your cravings.</p><p>40:01: Why anxiety increases during PMS.</p><p>46:48: What you need to know about hormone replacement therapy.</p><p>56:12: Power nap or meditate at THIS time for best results.</p><p>59:01: Why it’s way past time we start talking about women’s health.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p><a href="https://www.melrobbins.com/disclaimer" target="_blank">Disclaimer</a></p><br/> <p>Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See <a href="https://pcm.adswizz.com">pcm.adswizz.com</a> for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.</p>

You Are a Badass: Unlock Your Most Authentic Self in 4 Proven Steps

<p>In this episode, renowned researcher, bestselling author, and total badass Ritu Bhasin will help you step into your power.</p><p> </p><p>Her work proves that a better life begins when you stop trying to fit in and start showing up as your authentic self.</p><p> </p><p>Does this sound like you?</p><p> </p><ul><li>You say yes to fit in.</li><li>You stay silent and let others talk over you during meetings.</li><li>You never ask for that raise you’ve earned.</li><li>You let your partner and friends make all the decisions.</li><li>You don’t have big goals because you’re afraid to fail.</li></ul><p> </p><p> </p><p>Before you waste another day of your life pretending to be someone you're not, listen to this life-changing episode. </p><p> </p><p>You deserve better.</p><p> </p><p>This episode will teach you how to make the rules and be who you want to be.</p><p> </p><p>Ritu and I will teach you how to claim your confidence and live a bolder, badass life in 4 simple steps.</p><p> </p><p>Game ON.</p><p>  </p><p>This is your time. Take it.</p><p> </p><p>Xo, Mel</p><p> </p><p><strong>In this episode, you’ll learn:</strong></p><p> </p><p> </p><ul><li>05:27: Why Ritu wanted to make an entire video about how to pronounce her name.</li><li>09:08: What it means to stand in your power.</li><li>12:53: Are you masking your true identity?</li><li>18:32: Feeling comfortable with yourself vs. hiding who you really are…</li><li>22:24: The pressure to perform shows up in the body in these ways…</li><li>27:02: The #1 thing Ritu did to bring more belonging and authenticity into her life. </li><li>29:24: 3 steps to conquer uncomfortable situations.</li><li>31:42: The mantra that Ritu repeats to herself to stay in control.</li><li>37:11: The only thing you can control are your actions. </li><li>43:48: The most important version of your “self” looks like this..</li><li>47:32: How to make others feel like they belong, too, and why that matters.</li><li>49:52: You have 3 versions of your "self" - here’s what they are.</li><li>52:54: We are all adults stuck in a middle school brain.</li><li>58:38: The #1 takeaway I want you to get from this conversation.</li></ul><p> </p><p> </p><p><a href="https://www.melrobbins.com/disclaimer" target="_blank">Disclaimer</a></p><br/> <p>Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See <a href="https://pcm.adswizz.com">pcm.adswizz.com</a> for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.</p>

Turn Anxiety Into Power: A 3-Step Process to Master Your Emotions From a Harvard Psychologist

<p>In this episode, Harvard professor Dr. Luana Marques is going to teach you 3 simple steps to turn anxiety into power. And she’s not fooling around; in the first few minutes, she even called me out.</p><p> </p><p>If you want to be more successful and effective in getting what you want out of your life or career, learning how to master your emotions, especially in difficult situations, is an essential skill.</p><p> </p><p>And Dr. Luana is a sought-after expert who will teach you how.</p><p> </p><p>If major life changes crush you with overwhelm and anxiety, this is for you.</p><p> </p><p>If stress and frustration are holding you back at work, you need her 3-step method.</p><p> </p><p>If your palms start to sweat just thinking about…</p><p> </p><ul><li>Downloading the dating app.</li><li>Applying for a better job.</li><li>Moving in with your significant other.</li><li>Filing for divorce.</li><li>Your kids leaving for college or to live on their own.</li></ul><p> </p><p>Not anymore.</p><p> </p><p>Dr. Luana Marques is a popular Harvard professor here to teach you that change is not only a necessary part of life but an incredibly powerful part of creating the life you want.</p><p> </p><p>And even cooler, she is going through a MAJOR career change right now (and using her 3-step process to do it).</p><p> </p><p>Today you’ll learn to:</p><p> </p><ul><li>Stop running away from your feelings.</li><li>Silence your self-doubt.</li><li>Figure out what’s most important to you (so you can run toward it).</li><li>Jump into new situations using a powerful metaphor.</li></ul><p> </p><p>And you’ll get a practical and simple 3-step framework to master any transition in your life. </p><p> </p><p>Grab your notebook, your pencil, and hit play.</p><p> </p><p>Xo Mel </p><p> </p><p><strong>In this episode, you’ll learn:</strong></p><ul><li>02:36: Why are transitions so damn hard?</li><li>06:45: The exercise you need to find your values, according to research.</li><li>09:24: What happens when ambition no longer serves you?</li><li>13:17: What happens when success comes at a cost?</li><li>16:21: How values have shifted post-pandemic.</li><li>20:54: Holding space for discomfort with your loved ones is essential.</li><li>23:58: Feel your feelings; it’s okay to not feel okay.</li><li>28:41: The one thing you need to add to your calendar today.</li><li>31:42: Attach yourself to your why.</li><li>37:56: Dr. Luana’s 3-step method to overcoming any transition.</li><li>42:04: Dr. Luana’s incredible work at Harvard.</li><li>43:08: What Dr. Luana means when she says the world is "locked".</li></ul><p> </p><p><a href="https://www.melrobbins.com/disclaimer" target="_blank">Disclaimer</a></p><br/> <p>Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See <a href="https://pcm.adswizz.com">pcm.adswizz.com</a> for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.</p>

Change Your Relationship With Alcohol – How to Control Your Urge to Drink

<p>Today on the podcast, you and I are having a deeply personal and eye-opening conversation about alcohol and your relationship to it.</p><p> </p><p>Rachel Hart is a best-selling author and master coach who has helped thousands of people re-examine their relationship with alcohol, and that’s exactly what she is going to help you do today.</p><p> </p><p>Rachel knows the surprising reason you (and I) crave a drink (or have the urge to shop, vape, play video games, scroll on social media, or want something sweet).</p><p> </p><p>She’ll also explain that weird cycle of emotions you experience after drinking.</p><p> </p><p><i>Did I drink too much last night? Did I do anything I regret? Should I stop drinking altogether? Should I detox this week before the wedding next weekend? How do I drink less? Maybe it’s time I stopped altogether.</i></p><p> </p><p>You’ll learn that this agitation and conflict about alcohol are normal. The question is, how do you change it?</p><p> </p><p>Rachel says it’s by examining the desires underneath the urge.</p><p> </p><p>Today, Rachel will help you unpack urges and desires and teach you why boundaries go right out the window when you feel an urge.</p><p> </p><p>Today you’ll learn:</p><ul><li>What your drinking might really be all about. (it’s not what you think)</li><li>Why feeling conflicted about drinking is normal.</li><li>Where do urges really come from, and how do you ignore them?</li><li>How your first experience with alcohol impacts your relationship with it.</li><li>What your desires are trying to tell you.</li><li>How to ditch the shame once and for all.</li><li>The complicated messaging around alcohol.</li><li>The 30-day plan Rachel uses with all her clients.</li></ul><p> </p><p>Not sure if you have a problem with alcohol? Worried about someone else who does? You're not ready to quit alcohol all together, but you wish you’d not reach for the glass of wine most nights. Wonder if maybe you should stop?</p><p> </p><p>Perfect. Listen in. </p><p> </p><p>You can change your relationship with alcohol.</p><p> </p><p>After this episode, you’ll know how.</p><p> </p><p>Xo, Mel</p><p> </p><p><strong>In this episode, you’ll learn:</strong></p><p><br /><br /> </p><ul><li>02:12: Why is my relationship with alcohol so confusing?</li><li>05:43: The shame cycle I go through every time I drink.</li><li>12:08: What does your urge actually symbolize? For me, I had to go back to when I was 14 to figure it out.</li><li>15:07: You are creating boundaries that justify your cravings and urges.</li><li>20:06: What your urges and cravings are trying to communicate to you.</li><li>23:07: The difference between your upper and lower brain and what you need to know.</li><li>26:10: How to stop drinking without stopping drinking.</li><li>28:09: Learning how to change means having a different relationship with commitment.</li><li>36:18: Tool #1: Name the urge when it’s happening.</li><li>40:06: Why "just say no" doesn’t work.</li><li>48:03: Stop looking for answers from others. You have an inner knowing of what’s best for you.</li><li>54:47: Tool #2: Ask yourself, If you couldn’t drink for the rest of your life, what would it feel like?</li><li>58:30: Disappointment when you give up your urges is normal.</li></ul><p> </p><p><a href="https://www.melrobbins.com/disclaimer" target="_blank">Disclaimer</a></p><br/> <p>Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See <a href="https://pcm.adswizz.com">pcm.adswizz.com</a> for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.</p>

Is It Too Late? How to Repair a Broken Relationship With Your Friend or Family Member

<p>In this episode, you’re going to learn that it is never too late to try to repair a broken or difficult relationship.</p><p>Research shows that estrangement is not only on the rise but that the majority of us have at least one extended family member or friend who is estranged.</p><p>I know this is true in my own extended family, and I also have friends who are estranged from their parents.</p><p>Whether you’re the person who’s cut off contact or you're the one wondering why someone you love did, our episode today will give you the language, tools, and context to start moving toward understanding and healing.</p><p>Dr. Joshua Coleman is a psychologist and best-selling author who works with families to repair broken bonds and help them reconcile and improve difficult or estranged relationships.</p><p>In fact, according to Dr. Coleman, the strategies he shares work, and the statistics are in your favor.</p><p>I hope you share this with anyone you know dealing with a difficult relationship. It is very common, especially after a divorce and when there is a new spouse or significant other.</p><p>When someone you love suddenly pulls away or cuts you out of their life, you need a playbook to help you know when to reach out and when not to reach out, and what exactly to say and not say.</p><p>Today you’ll learn:</p><ul><li>Why estrangement is on the rise.</li><li>What some therapists do wrong that can make things worse.</li><li>What to do if you’re the sibling caught in the middle.</li><li>How to take responsibility, even if you don’t think you should.</li><li>Early mistakes we make that can lead to estrangement.</li><li>Early steps we can take to avoid estrangement.</li><li>How long it takes to reconcile and where to even begin.</li></ul><p>The pain of separation is real, but it doesn’t have to be forever.</p><p> </p><p>Xo, Mel</p><p> </p><p><strong>In this episode, you’ll learn:</strong></p><ul><li>01:04: The silent epidemic that’s happening right now is estrangement.</li><li>02:10: What is estrangement?</li><li>04:42: How "cancel culture" is impacting relationships</li><li>09:07: The horrible advice for estrangement Dr. Coleman got in therapy.</li><li>12:24: What moving towards a child's trauma looks like</li><li>14:07: How do you know if someone has deliberately cut you out of their life?</li><li>16:32: The most common complaint adult children have for their parents</li><li>19:56: One of the most common pathways to estrangement</li><li>22:04: The most common mistakes estranged parents make</li><li>24:32: Why you cannot take things personally</li><li>26:35: Why radical acceptance is a required step in reconnecting</li><li>29:50: Let’s unpack why guilt doesn’t work.</li><li>35:20: What to do when reconciliation isn’t desired by the other person</li><li>36:32: What are the steps towards reconciliation?</li><li>39:07: Why Dr. Coleman says that parents have a moral obligation to take the high road</li><li>42:10: The silent treatment is wrong. Here’s why</li><li>47:15: When you should stop reaching out for reconciliation</li><li>49:30: What is an amends letter, and how should you write it?</li><li>56:18: How do you engage with someone who doesn’t want to engage with you?</li></ul><p> </p><p> </p><p><a href="https://www.melrobbins.com/disclaimer" target="_blank">Disclaimer</a></p><br/> <p>Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See <a href="https://pcm.adswizz.com">pcm.adswizz.com</a> for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.</p>

Where Did All My Friends Go? A Simple Guide to Finding Your People (Steal This!)

<p>In this episode, I show you how to find your people, have more fun, and create meaningful friendships as an adult in a very simple way.</p><p> </p><p>And it starts with your morning coffee. </p><p> </p><p>Plus, I’m sharing 4 opening lines and tactics you can use when approaching a potential new friend.</p><p> </p><p>Can we just be honest? Making new friends as an adult is so hard. And I believe that we are all struggling with it.</p><p> </p><p>So I’m going to share the strategies that I have used in the last year to go from moving to a new town and feeling like I have "no friends" to taking the steps to create an awesome new circle of adult friends.</p><p> </p><p>Today you’ll learn:</p><ul><li>The ONE practical and life-changing tool you need to create adult friendships</li><li>A fun framework for friendship that involves the 4 different types of coffee shops in your area</li><li>The lies we all tell ourselves about friendships that keep us thinking we have none</li><li>How remote work has changed the friendship game</li><li>The single best place to park yourself on a Saturday morning to find your people</li><li>How to approach a stranger (potential friend) without coming across as weird, creepy, or awkward</li></ul><p> </p><p>What I’m sharing today works because this is how I found my people in the last 12 months.</p><p> </p><p>Xo Mel</p><p> </p><p><strong>In this episode, you’ll learn:</strong></p><ul><li>2:37: Today I feel like I’m living in an adult summer camp; it wasn’t always this way.</li><li>4:31: It is within your power to create community and connection.</li><li>7:13: What happens when you look through the lens of loneliness?</li><li>8:55: The #1 mistake I made with my friendships.</li><li>10:15: If you want the flower to grow, you need to plant the seed. Let me explain.</li><li>14:05: The lie you’re telling yourself when it comes to friendships.</li><li>18:44: Why making friends feels so hard nowadays.</li><li>20:07: A fun framework for friendship that involves the 4 different types of coffee shops in your area.</li><li>27:58: The coffee shop I go to and why it’s been a gamechanger for meeting potential friends. </li><li>31:28: I challenge you to do this the next time you get a coffee.</li><li>33:08: Friendship is a verb, you have to make it happen.</li><li>34:18: This ONE tool will allow you to create lasting bonds.</li><li>35:03: For all my introverts, here is my advice for you...</li><li>36:18: The easiest ways to create connection in any situation.</li><li>37:20: Don’t have weekend plans? You will after you do this.</li><li>41:08: Making new friends can be fun and easy (I’m being serious).</li></ul><p> </p><p><a href="https://www.melrobbins.com/disclaimer" target="_blank">Disclaimer</a></p><br/> <p>Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See <a href="https://pcm.adswizz.com">pcm.adswizz.com</a> for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.</p>

Therapist Reveals Why You Struggle With Relationships &amp; How to Let More Love Into Your Life

<p>In this episode, you are going to learn why you struggle in certain relationships and how to let more love in.</p><p> </p><p>Whether you struggle in your friendships or your romantic relationships, or you don’t feel connected to your family or the community where you live, today's conversation will give you the insight and tools that you need to create better and more loving relationships everywhere.</p><p> </p><p>Dr. Marisa Franco is a NYT bestselling author, award-winning therapist, and professor of psychology at The University of Maryland. She dedicated her professional practice to the study of connections and systemic loneliness.</p><p> </p><p>What will really catch your attention is her research on attachment styles and what they look like in real time, which has been an incredible game changer for me and my personal relationships, particularly with my husband.</p><p> </p><p>Attachment style theory goes way beyond "love languages," and once you know yours, you’ll be less triggered by others around you.</p><p> </p><p>Understand the attachment styles of others, and you’ll take things less personally.</p><p> </p><p>In today’s episode, you’re getting a complete guide to:</p><p> </p><ul><li>What attachment styles are and how they look in real life.</li><li>The questions to ask yourself to figure out what your style is.</li><li>How to tell if you’re hanging out with the right people.</li><li>The one thing avoidant attachment people have a really hard time doing.</li><li>How your attachment style determines who you’re attracted to.</li><li>Why you might be confusing being triggered with being in love.</li><li>Key strategies to start developing a secure attachment style yourself.</li></ul><p> </p><p>After listening to this episode, you’ll see the people in your life through an entirely new lens and with an abundance of compassion.</p><p> </p><p>Xo Mel</p><p> </p><p><strong>In this episode, you’ll learn:</strong></p><ul><li>4:00: Let’s begin with the first style. What is a secure attachment style?</li><li>5:10: What does anxious attachment look like?</li><li>6:00: Avoidant attachment-type people have a hard time trusting.</li><li>6:30: Those who experienced high-trauma situations are more likely to have this style.</li><li>8:00: What do these attachment styles look like in real life?</li><li>11:45: Is it easier to identify attachment styles in yourself or others?</li><li>17:20: How do you have a relationship with someone who has an avoidant style?</li><li>20:30: Can you have more than one attachment style?</li><li>22:00: How can you develop a more secure attachment?</li><li>26:00: Avoidantly attached people actually do have an underlying need for connection.</li><li>31:30: These physical symptoms can be a result of your attachment style.</li><li>35:45: These activities will help you start connecting with your body again.</li><li>38:20: Here’s how you can create a ‘safe’ space for someone with avoidant attachment.</li><li>47:50: Why do we always seem to date the same kind of people?</li><li>49:40: Do you confuse being triggered with being in love?</li><li>54:45: So how do you find securely attached people to hang out with?</li><li>57:45: Do this one hack every day to start developing a secure attachment yourself.</li><li>59:00: This is why understanding attachment styles has been a game changer.</li></ul><p> </p><p><a href="https://www.melrobbins.com/disclaimer" target="_blank">Disclaimer</a></p><br/> <p>Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See <a href="https://pcm.adswizz.com">pcm.adswizz.com</a> for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.</p>

5 Things the Men in Your Life Aren’t Telling You but Need to Talk About

<p>In today’s episode, you will learn the 5 things that men secretly struggle with and how you can open up the conversation to better support them.</p><p> </p><p>I’m proud to introduce you to my husband, Chris, who is the founder of a men's retreat, Soul Degree. He has been leading these retreats for the past 6 years and has worked with everyone from veterans, executives, and first responders to college students.</p><p> </p><p>Chris has incredible insight into the secrets that men keep and the struggles they’re facing alone. </p><p> </p><p>Hearing Chris unpack these challenges is very compelling. He not only shares insights from leading retreats for 6 years but also from his coaching practice and his work as a death doula. </p><p> </p><p>Many of the struggles that he witnesses in other men are the exact same struggles that he has worked through as well.</p><p> </p><p>This is an episode every man, boy, or anyone who identifies as male needs to hear, and so do the people that love them.</p><p> </p><p>It’s not just we women who struggle with self-love; everyone struggles with loving themselves. </p><p> </p><p>If you don’t know what’s going on with the men in your life, let me talk to them and let them know it’s okay.</p><p> </p><p>That’s why I am teaching you how to start loving yourself with a simple habit that you can add to your routine.</p><p> </p><p>Today you’ll learn: </p><ul><li>The 5 shocking things that most men in your life are struggling with</li><li>One habit that has helped hundreds of thousands of people to start showing self-love</li><li>Why it’s so hard to love yourself and the secret to self-love</li><li>The science behind why this habit is transformative</li><li>The profound insight my husband Chris had when he took the 5-day challenge </li></ul><p> </p><p>Love is not something you feel; it’s something you must demonstrate.</p><p> </p><p>Xo, Mel</p><p> </p><p> </p><p><strong>In this episode, you’ll learn:</strong></p><ul><li>2:25: The 5 shocking things that most men are struggling with</li><li>4:57: Do you put others' needs above your own? Do this exercise.</li><li>14:24: Why my husband, Chris, thought this habit was ridiculous at first</li><li>18:11: When in his life Chris started to feel like a failure</li><li>25:24: What all men struggle with</li><li>27:48: 50% of people find it impossible to do this.</li><li>29:35: What Chris has to say to all the men out there</li><li>32:34: The profound insight Chris had when he took the 5-day challenge</li><li>37:40: Why I sign off every letter and every episode the way I do</li><li>39:06: What you tell yourself every time you do this one habit</li><li>41:56: The message from a listener that every skeptic needs to hear</li><li>41:44: Why it’s so hard to love yourself</li><li>51:50: Why you’re going to want to share this with the men in your life</li></ul><p> </p><p><a href="https://www.melrobbins.com/disclaimer" target="_blank">Disclaimer</a></p><br/> <p>Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See <a href="https://pcm.adswizz.com">pcm.adswizz.com</a> for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.</p>

Happiness Is an Option for You: 4 Easy Habits That Make Your Life Better Based on Research

<p>In this episode, you’re going to learn the 4 happiness habits that, based on research, are scientifically proven to make you happier in 21 days.</p><p>Happiness is not only possible; it is an option for you.</p><p>Our guest today is one of the most respected happiness researchers in the world. Shawn Achor is the author of 4 New York Times bestsellers and has created the largest happiness training program in the world. He is here to prove to you that happiness is not only possible but also an option for you.</p><p>This conversation is packed with practical and proven tools that you can put to work in your life immediately. We will also dig deep into the research that supports everything that you are about to learn.</p><p>Shawn goes deeper than he has ever gone in an interview, discussing his struggle with depression and how these 4 habits have helped him climb out of it.</p><p>Get out your notebook because we are drilling into decades of psychological research that will ladder up to more meaning in your life.</p><p>Today you’ll learn:</p><ul><li>How to find happiness amidst pain and fear</li><li>The 4 simple habits that create more happiness</li><li>What Shawn calls the ‘turning point’ for his struggle with depression</li><li>How to be happy even when you’re lonely and the importance of connection and community</li><li>The first step YOU need to take to living a happier, more meaningful life</li></ul><p>Happiness is not an emotion; it is a framework, and that framework is getting built today!</p><p>Xo Mel</p><p> </p><p><strong>In this episode you’ll learn: </strong></p><ul><li>2:04: What is the definition of happiness?</li><li>3:12: Where can you find happiness amidst pain and fear?</li><li>10:41: What happens when you become fearful that you will never be happy again?</li><li>12:53: Step #1 to claiming happiness is recognition. This is why.</li><li>14:05: This is YOUR starting point for living a happier life.</li><li>15:49: These 4 simple habits for 21 days will change your life.</li><li>17:53: What kept Shawn going: the habits that pulled him out of a depression.</li><li>21:22: Reminder: Happiness is a team sport.</li><li>29:24: What loneliness actually is</li><li>32:37: The importance of social connection and community</li><li>35:14 The story we tell ourselves is how we navigate our lives.</li><li>40:35: It’s not the end of your story; the reminder I even needed</li><li>45:47: Happiness is an option, not a choice.</li><li>48:58: What Shawn learned in Flint, Michigan, about mindset and behavior</li><li>51:52: The tools and takeaways you need to remember after this conversation</li></ul><p> </p><p><a href="https://www.melrobbins.com/disclaimer" target="_blank">Disclaimer</a></p><br/> <p>Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See <a href="https://pcm.adswizz.com">pcm.adswizz.com</a> for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.</p>

Stop Taking Things So Seriously: A Hilarious Story About Wedgies, Wardrobe Failures, Art Museums, &amp; Having More Fun

<p>In this episode, you are going to learn the art of having more fun.</p><p> </p><p>I share a hilarious story about a major wardrobe malfunction with you and two podcast crew members.</p><p> </p><p>You’ll laugh along at all the ridiculous details, but the takeaway is serious:</p><p> </p><p>Learning how to laugh at yourself is a superpower, and research says people who have a sense of humor are more respected and are viewed as more confident and intelligent by their peers.</p><p> </p><p>Today you’ll learn: </p><ul><li>How having fun in life is an art form</li><li>How to turn something embarrassing into something hilarious and relatable</li><li>How humor increases power and status</li><li>Why it’s important to not take yourself too seriously</li><li>How to create a bond and change the tone in any social situation</li><li>Why it’s imperative to never buy a bodysuit that is too small</li></ul><p> </p><p>Seriously? You need to laugh more. Let’s start today.</p><p> </p><p>Xo Mel</p><p> </p><p> </p><p><strong>In this episode, you’ll learn:</strong></p><p><br /><br /> </p><ul><li>01:26: The best feeling in the world: taking your bra off at the end of the day</li><li>3:52: Chris tells us what the equivalent feeling is for men.</li><li>5:33: The major wardrobe failure I had yesterday.</li><li>9:23: Pro tip: always test drive a cool outfit before an event (especially if it includes shapewear).</li><li>12:09: The worst wedgie that I have ever had.</li><li>14:41: I can’t believe I just admitted this, but don’t we all do this?</li><li>19:20: How turning something embarrassing into something hilarious and relatable tightens bonds.</li><li>21:18: Let everyone in on the joke, it will change the dynamic.</li><li>22:24: My ultimate moment of relief.</li><li>26:22: How turning something embarrassing into something hilarious and relatable tightens bonds.</li><li>31:09: Why does Amy do stand-up comedy, and can you develop a sense of humor at any point?</li><li>33:52: According to research, the funnier the person, the more respect and power you hold.</li><li>38:08: I invite you to do this one thing: laugh at yourself.</li></ul><p> </p><p> </p><p><a href="https://www.melrobbins.com/disclaimer" target="_blank">Disclaimer</a></p><br/> <p>Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See <a href="https://pcm.adswizz.com">pcm.adswizz.com</a> for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.</p>

How to Hack Hunger and Cravings Using Science With a Doctor Trained at Harvard, Columbia, and Cornell

<p>Why do you always crave dessert after dinner? Or a snack mid-afternoon?</p><p>Today we’re digging into the science of cravings: </p><p>-Why you have them</p><p>-How to tell the difference between a craving and actual hunger</p><p>-How to eat your way to better health and a happier life.</p><p>Dr. Amy Shah is a double-board certified medical doctor with training from Cornell, Harvard, and Columbia Universities and an expert on intermittent fasting, hormones, and food cravings.  </p><p>And today, I got you and me an appointment with her for free! Let’s friggin’ goooo!</p><p>If you want to understand your body and how to make your metabolism work for you, Dr. Amy has the research and the tools to help you kick your cravings to the curb once and for all.</p><p>In today’s episode, you will learn:</p><p>*when to drink coffee in the morning so you stay energized all day</p><p>*how cravings relate to dopamine and how to curb them so they never come back</p><p>*why your sugar cravings are so strong and how to stop them</p><p>*the truth about probiotics and which ones your body needs right now</p><p>*what ghrelin and leptin are and why they are the secrets to a healthy metabolism</p><p>*the shocking research that compares antidepressants to food and exercise</p><p>*how to stop overeating </p><p>Our bodies are complicated, but your health doesn’t have to be. Let Dr. Amy empower you to live a more vibrant, fulfilled, and energized life.</p><p> </p><p><strong>In this episode, you’ll learn:</strong></p><p><br /><br /> </p><ul><li>2:45: So what’s the difference between hunger and cravings?</li><li>6:00: Many of our poor food choices are not our fault.</li><li>19:30: So how do we fix our eating habits if we’re not always in control?</li><li>20:30: Food and exercise are more effective than drugs for anxiety and depression?!</li><li>23:20: So what are some of the foods that will boost natural hormones?</li><li>28:30: Drinking enough water during the day makes you eat less.</li><li>37:30: Here’s what food companies know about dopamine.</li><li>41:40: Do this when you want to stop overeating.</li><li>44:45: Why does dopamine work better when you reward yourself at random times?</li><li>46:30: What are psychobiotics and how do they stop cravings?</li><li>50:20: Here’s how your gut and your brain talk to each other and what that means.</li><li>51:30: What exactly is the relationship between food and bacteria?</li><li>55:15: So where do we start with supplements?</li><li>57:30: The #1 probiotic that you should be adding to your days.</li><li>59:30: How the hell do you get rid of your sugar cravings?</li><li>1:03:30: Do you get enough sleep? Here’s why that matters.</li><li>1:06:00 Why you should wait 45 minutes before you drink your coffee.</li><li>1:08:10: This is what Dr. Amy thinks about intermittent fasting and how she does it.</li><li>1:10:00: Eat a high-dopamine breakfast to start your day on the right track.</li></ul><p> </p><p> </p><p><a href="https://www.melrobbins.com/disclaimer" target="_blank">Disclaimer</a></p><br/> <p>Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See <a href="https://pcm.adswizz.com">pcm.adswizz.com</a> for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.</p>

6 Surprising Signs of Adult ADHD

<p>More and more adults are being diagnosed with ADHD, so today, we are unpacking the 6 surprising signs of ADHD. I also tell you why so many women, in particular, go undiagnosed.</p><p> </p><p>This episode is deeply personal, but my story is shared by so many women.</p><p>I lived my entire life with symptoms of ADHD and crushing anxiety because of it. But I was never diagnosed until the age of 47—and I found out by fluke!</p><p>So in this episode, I go deep into what ADHD is: a neurological disorder that affects the brain structurally and chemically. I explain the signs and the science behind what is going on in your brain to help you live a better life.</p><p>If you ever wondered if you have ADHD, if you feel like menopause is making it worse, or if you struggle with anxiety, an eating disorder, or low self-esteem, you have to listen. All these might be symptoms of ADHD.</p><p>This episode goes way beyond an inability to focus, because ADHD is so much more. This is an education in how your brain works, how focus works, and how to help yourself or someone in your life who may have ADHD.</p><p>I’ve been wanting to record this episode for MONTHS, but I didn’t want to do it until I had first-class resources for you. Because every time I talk about my ADHD story, we get an avalanche of questions from listeners.</p><p>I have regrets about that lost time when I did not know I had ADHD, and I don’t want you to have them, too.</p><p> </p><p>Today you’ll learn:</p><p> </p><p>*why women have been profoundly underdiagnosed</p><p>*four key differences between genders with ADHD</p><p>*why my diagnosis was both a blessing and a curse</p><p>*the surprising way most women find out</p><p>*six symptoms of ADHD that most people don’t catch</p><p>*the connection between anxiety and depression and ADHD</p><p>*resources and hacks to help you take charge over your symptoms</p><p> </p><p>Xo Mel </p><p> </p><p><strong>In this episode, you’ll learn:</strong></p><p><br /><br /> </p><ul><li>2:44: The surprising backdoor way I was diagnosed with ADHD.</li><li>6:30: What I learned about the “lost generation” that has blown me away.</li><li>7:45: A terrifyingly important statistic that led to this podcast episode.</li><li>9:00: The definition of ADHD that may make you feel better about yours.</li><li>10:15: Why are women underdiagnosed? The differences in symptoms.</li><li>19:30: This is how ADHD impacts your brain.</li><li>22:30: Breaking this myth about this symptom of ADHD.</li><li>24:45: A really clear metaphor to explain how your brain silences noise, or doesn’t.</li><li>32:00: How is it I have ADHD, yet I can hyper-focus?</li><li>34:00: More surprising symptoms of ADHD that might make your relationships hard.</li><li>38:00: This one hack helps me get birthday gifts for others on time.</li><li>40:00: The jobs I loved because they worked well with ADHD.</li><li>43:45: Now here’s the good news!</li><li>45:30: A predictive statistic about children that you’re going to want to hear.</li></ul><p> </p><p><a href="https://www.melrobbins.com/disclaimer" target="_blank">Disclaimer</a></p><br/> <p>Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See <a href="https://pcm.adswizz.com">pcm.adswizz.com</a> for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.</p>

Harvard Professor Says THIS Is the Secret to Success (It’s Not What You Think)

<p>According to Harvard professor Dr. Luana Marques, there is one sneaky habit that holds every single person back – and no one knows what it is.</p><p> </p><p>When she reveals the habit that holds you back, your first reaction will be to stop and think.</p><p> </p><p>And as you listen to her explain it and give you examples, you’ll be shocked that you’ve never before seen it in yourself or heard anyone else point it out to you… until now.</p><p> </p><p>You’re not the only one.</p><p> </p><p>I didn’t know about this habit until I was introduced to Dr. Marques’ work.</p><p> </p><p>What you learn today will change how you think about success, influence, mindset, and even anxiety and procrastination.</p><p> </p><p>This sneaky habit has been holding you back and you didn’t even realize how pervasive it is in your life.</p><p> </p><p>It’s not self-doubt. It’s not fear. It’s something even deeper.</p><p> </p><p>I want you to listen, because she’s the world’s leading expert on the topic, and this is one of those episodes that will make you never look at life the same again.</p><p> </p><p>Xo Mel</p><p> </p><p><strong>In this episode, you’ll learn:</strong></p><ul><li>1:00: The sneaky habit that’s holding you back, according to Dr. Luana Marques</li><li>3:00: Dr. Marques’ story will inspire you and explain how she discovered these tools.</li><li>7:30: Why this specific habit is keeping you from your best life.</li><li>9:00: How this habit leads to anxiety and panic at work.</li><li>13:00: Dr. Marques’ turning point in finding the success she has, against all odds.</li><li>22:00: Unpacking exactly what this habit is and how it holds you back, including your body’s response.</li><li>27:30: The lie you keep telling yourself.</li><li>30:00: This is how your brain is working against you.</li><li>33:00: Simple tools from CBT Therapy research that make a difference.</li><li>36:00: Exactly what to do when your thoughts spin and how to change your mindset immediately.</li><li>42:00: This approach works even if you don’t believe it.</li><li>43:30: How do you stress less and find more peace?</li><li>47:00: The first thing Dr. Marques does when helping her clients change.</li><li>50:00: How these strategies apply to parenting and family.</li></ul><p> </p><p><a href="https://www.melrobbins.com/disclaimer" target="_blank">Disclaimer</a></p><br/> <p>Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See <a href="https://pcm.adswizz.com">pcm.adswizz.com</a> for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.</p>

The Science of Gratitude &amp; 6 Surprising Ways You’re Getting It Wrong

<p>Today we are digging into the research on gratitude. Gratitude is a critical life skill, yet most of us are practicing it wrong.</p><p> </p><p>That’s right.</p><p> </p><p>According to the research, there are 4 essential elements of genuine gratitude. Without all 4, you can’t unlock the powerful physiological, neurological, and psychological benefits of genuine gratitude.</p><p> </p><p>For example, if you’re just thinking about what you’re grateful for or writing a list before you go to bed, you’re probably not getting the full impact of its power.</p><p> </p><p>Once you know the 4 steps, you can use genuine gratitude to actively rewire your brain!</p><p> </p><p>Next, we’ll discuss the “Toxic Gratitude Theory” and the 6 ways you probably use gratitude in a backhanded or manipulative way – and don’t even know it!</p><p> </p><p>I’m guilty of all 6 types of toxic gratitude (ouch) and now that I see it, I can stop doing it.</p><p> </p><p>So today, let’s learn how to unlock gratitude and all its profound power. You’ll also learn…</p><p><br /><br /> </p><ul><li>The 4 neurotransmitters involved in a science-backed gratitude practice</li><li>The important difference between being just “thankful” versus genuinely “grateful” and why it matters</li><li>How using one specific word is critical to building up your resilience</li><li>What to say to someone who’s going through a really tough time</li></ul><p> </p><p>And because I’m so genuinely grateful for you, I have started rolling out a fun bonus with each episode, <i>Mel Robbins Podcast Bloopers,</i> so listen all the way through for a good laugh!</p><p> </p><p>Xo Mel</p><p> </p><p><strong>In this episode, you’ll learn:</strong></p><p><br /><br /> </p><ul><li>6:00: Ever met someone who just makes you feel so loved and grounded?</li><li>12:20: What happens in your body when you feel more gratitude?</li><li>16:00: What’s the difference between being thankful vs. gratitude?</li><li>21:40: Here are the four important elements of genuine gratitude.</li><li>25:00: Are you using gratitude in a toxic way? Hear these six types of toxic gratitude.</li><li>26:00: Let’s unpack the #1 way we engage in toxic gratitude.</li><li>28:10: The #2 type of toxic gratitude is actually resentment in disguise.</li><li>29:45: This #3 type will keep you stuck in what’s not working for you.</li><li>33:00: We use the 4th type of toxic gratitude to escape uncomfortable emotions.</li><li>36:00: Being mentally well means giving yourself the space to feel all emotions.</li><li>37:30: Let’s unpack how you use the 5th type when you don’t know what to say.</li><li>39:00: And please don’t use this type to downplay your accomplishments.</li><li>41:00: This is one of my favorite acceptance speeches ever.</li><li>43:00: I looked up the meaning of Judah’s name and couldn’t believe what I found.</li><li>46:00: So how do you stay grounded in a chaotic environment? Listen to these tips.</li></ul><p> </p><p> </p><p><a href="https://www.melrobbins.com/disclaimer" target="_blank">Disclaimer</a></p><br/> <p>Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See <a href="https://pcm.adswizz.com">pcm.adswizz.com</a> for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.</p>

How a Waitress at Denny’s Built a Billion Dollar Beauty Brand: This Incredible Story Will Unlock Your Purpose!

<p>If you’ve ever dreamt of doing something big, today's episode will get your head spinning, open your heart, and inspire you to take the leap.</p><p> </p><p>It doesn’t matter how young or how old you are.</p><p> </p><p>You are meant to go big, to swing for the fence, and to do something no one has ever done before. </p><p> </p><p>No more small plans. You have something big to do.</p><p> </p><p>And there’s no better person to inspire you to make big plans than my friend and IT Cosmetics Founder, Jamie Kern Lima. </p><p> </p><p>Jamie went from serving up stacks of pancakes at Denny’s to creating a product that would help millions of women around the world feel confident in their own skin. </p><p> </p><p>Today you’ll hear the story of how she transformed the beauty industry, created the most successful product launch in QVC history, and ultimately sold IT Cosmetics to L’Oreal for 1.2 billion dollars (becoming the first female CEO at L’Oreal in their history). </p><p> </p><p>If you think Jamie had it easy on the way there, you’d be wrong. And you won’t have an easy time either, but so what?</p><p>Her story is a rollercoaster of rejection and disappointment, fear, self-doubt, and near bankruptcy.</p><p> </p><p>But when you’ve got big plans, you just keep going. Jamie never lost faith, and today she is teaching you how to never give up on your big plans either.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>In today’s episode, you will learn </p><ul><li>What to do when you have no idea what you’re doing.</li><li>Why it’s okay to do something that’s been done plenty of times.</li><li>What it’s like to pitch live on QVC.</li><li>How to handle someone saying “Women won’t buy from someone who looks like you.”</li><li>How to believe in yourself when nobody else does.</li><li>A truth about success we rarely ever hear about.</li><li>What to do when QVC says “NO you can’t sell that way.”</li><li>How to react when some idiot tells you they won’t invest in you.</li><li>How to break into an industry event and pitch your idea.</li><li>How to harness belief in yourself when you want to give up.</li></ul><p>Wow. Just wow.</p><p> </p><p>If you don’t know what to get the graduates in your life, send this episode because it’s a real gift. </p><p> </p><p>Xo Mel</p><p> </p><p><strong>In this episode, you’ll learn:</strong></p><p><br /><br /> </p><ul><li>4:50: Introducing today’s guest- my good friend, Jamie Kern Lima.</li><li>7:30: Jamie learned this important skill while working as a server at Denny’s.</li><li>9:00: Never disregard the seasons of your life that feel setbacks.</li><li>10:00: What the hell does it mean that our lives are happening “for” us?</li><li>10:45: Here’s how Jamie defines life’s purpose. </li><li>13:15: If you hate your job, listen to this.</li><li>16:50: The moment where Jamie knew she was meant to do something meaningful.</li><li>20:15: Not sure what your purpose is? Think about what you struggle with.</li><li>24:00: This is the biggest reason we talk ourselves out of following our dreams.</li><li>27:30: But how do you get started when you don’t even know what to do?</li><li>32:00: Ever had a gut feeling? Hear Jamie define intuition and how to tune in.</li><li>35:30: Try going through your day this way and build your intuition muscle.</li><li>37:20: Two reasons why we go through horrible, unspeakable times.</li><li>38:30: This was the biggest rejection moment that inspired Jamie to keep going.</li><li>41:15: Listen to the “no” or listen to the “knowing.” You get to choose.</li><li>44:30: How do you determine the NEXT right step?</li><li>46:45: Jamie lands a ten-minute do-or-die spot on QVC after multiple rejections.</li><li>57:00: Here’s how all that rejection became Jamie’s strength.</li><li>1:02:00: Does your purpose have to be part of your job?</li></ul><p> </p><p><a href="https://www.melrobbins.com/disclaimer" target="_blank">Disclaimer</a></p><br/> <p>Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See <a href="https://pcm.adswizz.com">pcm.adswizz.com</a> for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.</p>

Giving Up Is Not an Option: The Motivation You Need to Hear Right Now

<p>This is a message for every new graduate.</p><p>Whether you’re graduating from college or graduating from a chapter in your life, you need this message today. Your dreams matter, and what happens next is in your hands.</p><p>You have a flame inside you that represents the way you were meant to show up in this world.</p><p>Today I’m teaching you how to throw gasoline on that flame.</p><p>No matter what you're going through in life, your dreams are alive and well, and they are waiting for you to wake up and turn toward them.</p><p>If you’re not ready for some Mel Robbins inspirational firepower, bookmark this for another day. Because I’m not f’ing around today.</p><p>Whether you’re ready to make your mark on the world...</p><p>Or you’re tired of your excuses...</p><p>Or if you're like Barbara, who you'll meet in this episode, and you've given up on your dreams because they haven’t materialized yet…</p><p>This may be the most important 50 minutes of your life.</p><p>I’m going to show you</p><p> -the three ways you shut down your dreams</p><p>-why jealousy is actually a good thing</p><p>-the one question to ask in the morning that will impact the entire rest of your day</p><p>And if you don’t even remember what it’s like to dream, I’ve got you.</p><p>This episode includes a free download of an incredibly powerful, science-backed tool that will help you start dreaming again.</p><p>Xo Mel </p><p> </p><p><strong>In this episode, you’ll learn:</strong></p><p> </p><p> </p><ul><li>3:30: These are the moments that define your life.</li><li>9:15: Here’s what happens before every time I reinvent myself and my life.</li><li>10:50: My first dream job never left me and eventually led to this podcast.</li><li>14:30: Watch for this evidence of your dreams still being alive in your heart.</li><li>18:15: The first way you extinguish your dreams.</li><li>18:30: The second way you pour a cold bucket of water on your dreams.</li><li>18:50: The third way you shut down your dreams.</li><li>21:45: The science-backed habit that’s going to help you start dreaming again.</li><li>22:40: Here’s a whole bunch of dream examples, if you need ideas!</li><li>24:45: What is the Zeigarnik Effect and what does it have to do with your dreams?</li><li>26:15: I have a free download for you!</li><li>29:30: Here’s where I gave Barbie some serious tough love because I believe in her.</li><li>34:30: The one powerful question you’re going to ask yourself every morning. </li><li>35:40 On this date, I finally gave myself permission to make my dream happen.</li><li>37:50: When times get challenging, you should be doing this.</li><li>40:15: Try this exercise to shine a light on the way you limit what’s possible for you.</li><li>47:00: All that hard stuff in your life is for a reason.</li><li>49:15: Think you’re too old for your dreams? Then you need to hear this.</li><li>51:45: Curious about what happened to Barbara? Listen in.</li></ul><p> </p><p> </p><p><a href="https://www.melrobbins.com/disclaimer" target="_blank">Disclaimer</a></p><br/> <p>Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See <a href="https://pcm.adswizz.com">pcm.adswizz.com</a> for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.</p>

3 Steps To Finding Your North Star: An Exciting New Approach To Designing Your Life

<p>Welcome to an exciting new masterclass on designing the life of your dreams.</p><p>First, you’ll learn the process for identifying your own North Star, why this is important at the beginning of creating your new life, and how to use your North Star to guide you in the process of designing your life.</p><p>Next, you’ll dive deep into the 3-part framework: Emulate, Assimilate, and Innovate.</p><p>This framework is the backbone of the University of Southern California’s world-renowned Popular Music major taught at their Thornton School of Music.</p><p>It’s the creative process artists use to create songs, movies, and video games. The framework has helped launch Grammy-winning artists and touring musicians for the past decade.</p><p>I just learned about it a week ago and was so blown away that I had to share it with you.</p><p>When an artist creates a song, they begin with a blank piece of paper.</p><p>When you design your life, you are an artist with a blank canvas.</p><p>Today, you’re invited to tap into the artist within and learn how to find your North Star and use the creative process to bring your vision for your future to life.</p><p>Xo Mel </p><p> </p><p><strong>In this episode, you’ll learn:</strong></p><p><br /><br /> </p><ul><li>3:00: Hear me describe the woman who recently became MY North Star.</li><li>6:40: Choosing this kind of person you want to choose as your North Star is best.</li><li>8:00: Shout out to Chris Sampson from the Thornton School of Music for these pillars.</li><li>10:15: If you skip Step One in this process, you’re making your life much harder.</li><li>14:15: Here’s how Jennifer Aniston made her way into our conversation. </li><li>18:10: We start unpacking what Step One of the process looks like, first with music.</li><li>21:00: Think of the space in between where you are and want to be as special. </li><li>22:15: Try using “want” instead of “need” when it comes to goals and see what happens.</li><li>25:20: This is what I did when I first started to dig myself out, but it took me much longer.</li><li>28:00: Here’s why this person is my North Star and why he puts a fire in my belly.</li><li>31:15: Let’s define the first two steps in this important process and how they’re different.</li><li>34:00: How do you know when you’re done and you’ve become your own North Star?</li><li>41:45: Kendall’s biggest takeaway from working through this process. </li><li>42:45: The way I sign out on all my podcasts was inspired by this woman.</li></ul><p> </p><p> </p><p><a href="https://www.melrobbins.com/disclaimer" target="_blank">Disclaimer</a></p><br/> <p>Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See <a href="https://pcm.adswizz.com">pcm.adswizz.com</a> for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.</p>

The “Let Them Theory”: A Life Changing Mindset Hack That 15 Million People Can’t Stop Talking About

<p>I shared the "Let Them Theory" on social media, and it went CRAZY VIRAL. 15 million views, 11,000 comments. Today, it’s your turn to learn this mindset trick.</p><p>I’ve been using this technique for a while, so I know firsthand how powerful it is.</p><p>The "Let Them Theory" is so simple, you’re going to get it immediately.</p><p>And I have some great stories and examples to share with you, because there are three very different ways you can use it.</p><p>I can bottom line this in one sentence: </p><p>When you "Let Them" do whatever it is that they want to do, it creates more control and emotional peace for you and a better relationship with the people in your life.</p><p>Xo Mel </p><p><strong>In this episode, you’ll learn:</strong></p><ul><li>2:30: My overfunctioning anxiety kicked in, until this happened.</li><li>6:30: Dr. Amy Johnson gives the best metaphor that explains our need to control.</li><li>9:20: Why do we get so upset about what we can’t do a damn thing about?</li><li>10:30: These three reasons explain why we try to control.</li><li>11:20: Two reasons why your parents and partners are so controlling.</li><li>17:00: There are times like these when the “Let Them” rule does NOT apply.</li><li>19:00: How are you supposed to let go when you’re a parent?</li><li>24:30: Can you relate to this listener who’s worn down from her expectations?</li><li>28:00: Stop making up stories about why people do what they do, and just ask.</li><li>32:10: When you’re constantly rescuing people, here’s what you teach them.</li><li>35:00: Are you actually in a relationship with a real person, or a vision?</li><li>37:15: One way we try to control someone is through jealousy.</li><li>40:00: Growing apart from a good friend? Here’s how to handle it.</li><li>43:30: It’s not your responsibility to make sure everyone else is never hurt.</li></ul><p> </p><p><a href="https://www.melrobbins.com/disclaimer" target="_blank">Disclaimer</a></p><br/> <p>Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See <a href="https://pcm.adswizz.com">pcm.adswizz.com</a> for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.</p>

6 Signs You’re Disconnected From Your Power and How to Get It Back: Life-Changing Advice From the Remarkable Dr. Thema Bryant

<p>If you feel that something’s missing from your life but have no idea exactly what’s missing or where to begin looking for it, today’s episode will help you reconnect with your power and find greater meaning in your life.</p><p>Dr. Thema Bryant is the current president of the American Psychological Association. She trained at both Duke and Harvard, published multiple best-selling books, and has dedicated decades of her life to researching how we connect with each other by first connecting back to ourselves.</p><p>Her work has been so profound for me personally that, right off the bat in this conversation, I get emotional.</p><p>Dr. Thema is a national treasure. Her presence and her voice will put you at ease. And she has the unique gift of weaving together psychological strategies for healing with the deeper spiritual cornerstones of faith and trusting in "that which cannot be explained."</p><p>In this episode, you’ll learn:</p><p>-6 signs that you are disconnected from yourself</p><p>-what it means to be "psychologically wandering"</p><p>-how to handle people in your life who are chronically irritable and angry</p><p>-the surprising signs of "irritable depression"</p><p>-the three words to say to yourself before you can begin healing</p><p>-why self-care is critical if you are in a toxic workplace (you are more than your labor)</p><p>-why you need to stop talking about your significant other and your boss in therapy.</p><p>-where to find therapy when you can’t afford it.</p><p>You are so much more than a highway for other people to get where they’re going. With Dr. Thema’s wisdom and tactics, you’ll reconnect with yourself and take the wheel on your own incredible journey in life.</p><p>Xo Mel </p><p><strong>In this episode, you’ll learn:</strong></p><p> </p><ul><li>2:45: I got really emotional when I acknowledged how my life used to be.</li><li>6:30: 6 powerful signs that you are disconnected from yourself and what that means.</li><li>9:00: Even if you’ve never felt home with yourself, you can learn to be home with yourself.</li><li>11:00: The West African fable that gave me chills and should be required reading for everyone.</li><li>16:00: This is the first and most powerful step to your “homecoming.”</li><li>22:00: Do people with an attitude actually have depression?</li><li>25:20: What is healing, anyway?</li><li>27:00: How do we handle people in our lives who are irritable, frustrated, and angry?</li><li>30:00: It’s a big mistake if you wait for this before you start your own healing.</li><li>36:30: How to know if you need therapy or you need spirituality.</li><li>41:00: How do you heal from a lifetime of messaging that you’re not worthy?</li><li>44:00: This is how you handle working in a toxic work environment.</li><li>48:50: Look to these resources if you can’t afford therapy.</li></ul><p> </p><p><a href="https://www.melrobbins.com/disclaimer" target="_blank">Disclaimer</a></p><br/> <p>Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See <a href="https://pcm.adswizz.com">pcm.adswizz.com</a> for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.</p>

4 Simple Ways to Stop Giving a Sh*t About What Other People Think of You

<p>Imagine how liberating it would be to not care about what other people think of you. You’d take more risks. You’d stop holding yourself back. You’d make more money and have more fun. </p><p>That’s what happened to me when I learned the (not-so-subtle) art of not giving a sh*t.</p><p>This is the best episode I've done so far.</p><p>I mean it. The best.</p><p>It’s hilarious. It’s relatable. It’s packed with takeaways and research. It’s entertaining and personal, and yet I still manage to empower you with 4 simple ways to stop caring about what other people think.</p><p>Want to know what life looks like when you don’t care?</p><p> I’ll go first.</p><p>You’ll hear some outrageous, not-safe-for-work stories about your friend, Mel.</p><p>And as you’re laughing at me, I’ll be laughing at me, too. One of the benefits of not caring about what other people think is that you don’t take yourself too seriously.</p><p>Why? Because you have much more important things to care about.</p><p>Xo Mel </p><p><strong>In this episode, you’ll learn:</strong></p><ul><li>4:00: Hilarious story of me taking my shirt off at an LA restaurant.</li><li>8:30: Christine says you’re not supposed to show up to meetings this way.</li><li>14:30: Here’s why wearing ballet flats would have been a failure for me.</li><li>16:00: Christine’s profound point about judgment really opened my eyes.</li><li>19:00: When you stop worrying about how you look, others around you will too.</li><li>23:00: What I think about ugly troll comments so that I can rise above it.</li><li>27:00: If you’re part of a gossip loop, here’s what you need to do.</li><li>28:00: It’s not normal to wear a child-size space suit in front of your students?</li><li>34:00: Jessie could not stop laughing after I did this.</li><li>36:00: How can you give honest feedback and not sound like a jerk?</li><li>38:00: The wake-up moment for me around relationships.</li><li>38:30: My four rules about how not to give a sh*t about stupid stuff.</li><li>48:30: Kendall revealed something to me that I still can’t believe.</li></ul><p> </p><p><a href="https://www.melrobbins.com/disclaimer" target="_blank">Disclaimer</a></p><br/> <p>Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See <a href="https://pcm.adswizz.com">pcm.adswizz.com</a> for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.</p>

How To Help Anyone In Your Life Who’s Struggling - Fantastic Strategies From A Yale-Educated Psychologist

<p>I am thrilled to share this conversation with you. It is packed with practical strategies that will help the people in your life who may be struggling. </p><p> </p><p>Dr. Lisa Damour is a clinical psychologist and author of three <i>New York Times</i> bestsellers.  She earned degrees from both Yale and the University of Michigan and has more than 30 years of experience working with teens and families.</p><p> </p><p>Her latest book, <i>The Emotional Lives of Teenagers</i>, has been nothing short of life changing.</p><p> </p><p>Today you will learn…</p><p> </p><p>-five words you need to know when someone you love is struggling</p><p>-the signs that tell you when someone is “costly coping”</p><p>-what to say that will prevent a conversation from turning into a battle</p><p>-why your kids dump all their emotional garbage on you</p><p>-when it’s time for a therapist</p><p>-why struggles are signs of being “mentally WELL”!</p><p> </p><p>I started using Dr. Lisa’s strategies with my family the moment we finished recording this episode. They work! </p><p> </p><p>You will leave this episode full of the resources you deserve. Plus, you’re going to love Dr. Damour (and how hopeful she makes you feel) as much as I do. </p><p> </p><p>Xo Mel </p><p> </p><p>And if you need to take the reins in your own life, sign up for my free <a href="https://www.melrobbins.com/takecontrol" target="_blank">Take Control</a> mini-course to get inspiring support, guidance, and motivation.</p><p> </p><p><strong>In this episode, you’ll learn:</strong><br /><br /> </p><ul><li>4:00: Two things psychologists look for when assessing mental health.</li><li>5:15: Too many people are not distinguishing between these qualities.</li><li>6:15: When exactly IS adolescence?</li><li>8:30: We’ve had the wrong idea about what it means to be mentally healthy.</li><li>12:45: What’s the difference between a “normal” reaction vs one to be concerned about?</li><li>15:10: Do you know someone who is managing by “costly coping.”</li><li>16:45: So how do you help your kid?</li><li>20:00: This is how you don’t turn a conversation with your child into a fight.</li><li>24:00: Take these steps when it’s time to confront your teen.</li><li>27:30: Here’s how I wish I’d handled Chris’s depression differently.</li><li>30:20: Let’s look at the difference in emotions between genders.</li><li>34:15: How do you help people in your life who just can’t let it go?</li><li>39:00: Do your kids do this, too? It’s called the “defense of externalization.”</li><li>41:40: This is how my own mother set me straight.</li><li>44:00: How do you know when it’s time to get a therapist involved?</li><li>46:30: Can’t find a therapist for your child? Use this resource.</li><li>48:00: Here’s how the lockdown impacted our kids. </li><li>54:30: When are suicide thoughts normal and when are they concerning?</li><li>58:00: What happened to our nervous system during this time?</li><li>1:00:00: These are the concerns of Dr. Damour that we should watch for.</li><li>1:01:30: When do healthy habits become an obsession?</li><li>1:08:15: How do you let kids have emotions without letting them run the home?</li><li>1:14:00: Here is the most important thing you can offer your teen.</li></ul><p> </p><p><a href="https://www.melrobbins.com/disclaimer" target="_blank">Disclaimer</a></p><br/> <p>Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See <a href="https://pcm.adswizz.com">pcm.adswizz.com</a> for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.</p>

The Best Years of Your Life Are Ahead of You: A No BS Approach to Feeling Stuck

<p>You know <i>what</i> you want and <i>how</i> to start.</p><p> </p><p>But you never make progress.</p><p> </p><p>Here’s my wake up call for you today:</p><p> </p><p>What’s holding you back is never what you think.</p><p> </p><p>Today I am coaching a woman who says:</p><p> </p><p><i>I can’t make myself do what I need to do. I feel like I’m in quicksand. Every time I try to move…I sink<strong>.</strong></i></p><p> </p><p>She has:</p><p>-put on an extra 30 pounds</p><p>-left her relationship with herself in the gutter</p><p>-no longer does the things that make her happy</p><p>-broken promises to herself time and again</p><p> </p><p>I bet you can relate. </p><p> </p><p>This is a must-listen if you want to: </p><p> </p><p><i>be healthier…</i></p><p><i>go back to school..</i></p><p><i>find your dream home…</i></p><p><i>make new friends…</i></p><p><i>go for that promotion…</i></p><p><i>write a book…</i></p><p><i>land your dream job…</i></p><p> </p><p>But you just can’t make yourself take the actions you need to take.</p><p> </p><p>Stop frustrating yourself by trying to solve the wrong problem. </p><p> </p><p>Your dreams matter. </p><p> </p><p>Today you’re learning where to find the right solution.</p><p> </p><p>Pull up a seat for a conversation with a listener like you as we uncover what’s <i>really</i> holding her back. </p><p> </p><p>Xo Mel </p><p> </p><p><strong>In this episode, you’ll learn:</strong><br /><br /> </p><ul><li>2:15: This metaphor will help you understand why you’re stuck.</li><li>6:00: I bet you can relate to Ricki’s story. </li><li>8:15: The bad news that made Ricki’s face drop.</li><li>11:30: Here’s why you don’t believe your life will get better.</li><li>13:30: What <i>happened</i> to you earlier in your life that broke you?</li><li>18:15: Maybe you resist a part of your life because it links to something painful.</li><li>21:30: When acute grief turns into chronic, underlying grief.</li><li>31:00: You can’t invite love, joy, and connection, if you’re closed to it.</li><li>33:15: I get where Ricki is, because I used to close myself off in the same way.</li><li>39:30: Here’s my assignment for Ricki that I know she needs to do.</li><li>41:00: Give yourself permission to be happy again by connecting to this.</li><li>45:00: Here’s why I truly believe the best years of your life are ahead.</li><li>46:30: Ricki recorded an incredible update for you and me.</li></ul><p> </p><p><a href="https://www.melrobbins.com/disclaimer" target="_blank">Disclaimer</a></p><br/> <p>Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See <a href="https://pcm.adswizz.com">pcm.adswizz.com</a> for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.</p>

FBI Trained Expert Explains How to Read Body Language

<p>In this episode, you’re going to learn how to decode body language from one of the world’s leading experts on the topic.</p><p> </p><p>Janine Driver has been trained by the FBI, CIA, and one of the world’s top hostage negotiators.</p><p> </p><p>When a criminal case grabs our attention, every news network calls Janine to analyze body language and critical verbal cues that suspects, politicians, and celebrities are sending so we can tell when somebody is lying.</p><p> </p><p>If you love True Crime, you’re going to love this episode, because it’s a masterclass from an expert who’s spent over three decades decoding body language for law enforcement agencies around the country.</p><p> </p><p>She will teach you which hand gestures indicate that somebody may be lying, why you should grab your chin during a high-level meeting, why you should <i>never</i> shrug your shoulders if you want to be convincing, and the million-dollar question that you should ask at the end of every single interview.</p><p> </p><p>If you’re dating, you’ll learn all kinds of incredible tactics, like why you should <i>never </i>sit directly across from someone on a first date. </p><p> </p><p>This is an incredibly interesting, entertaining, and surprising take on how to build confidence and be smarter about the subconscious signals that other people are sending you all day long. </p><p> </p><p>Xo Mel </p><p> </p><p><strong>In this episode, you’ll learn:</strong></p><ul><li>3:15: Janine’s early childhood trauma saved her life as a teen.</li><li>6:00: So how do you go from being a profiler with the FBI to a body language expert?</li><li>9:30: Which three groups of people can read body language really well?</li><li>10:00: The hand gesture that says “maybe” even when you’re hearing “yes.”</li><li>12:30: Listen for the word “left” when you hear it from someone else.</li><li>13:40: How Janine knew Casey Anthony was lying about her daughter’s death.</li><li>19:30: What’s your behavioral fingerprint? Here’s how to figure it out.</li><li>20:00: What is the best question to ask at the end of an interview?</li><li>21:15: How men state what they need versus how women do.</li><li>27:00: This is why a shoulder shrug might be a huge clue.</li><li>31:40: The power of eye contact, unpacked.</li><li>34:15: What the heck is lip locking and what does it mean when someone’s doing it?</li><li>36:15: When you’re trying to get the truth out of somebody, use the pause after “don’t”.</li><li>37:45: Do this to get your kids to tell you the truth.</li><li>42:30: Ever been interrupted by someone in a meeting? Here’s what you do!</li><li>47:15: Use this hack to look more confident. </li><li>48:00: Janine tells me what my pointy chin means.</li><li>48:45: Know the difference between Clark Kent and Superman, and you’re all set.</li><li>52:00: This is the BEST dating advice I’ve heard in a long time.</li><li>54:15: Here’s how detail-oriented people drink their water.</li><li>56:30: Next time you’re on a date or an email, tilt the coaster. </li><li>58:00: What if you don’t FEEL confident when you use these “non-verbals?”</li><li>1:02:00: Why belly buttons matter more than the eyes when reading someone.</li><li>1:04:00: Nervous on a date or an interview? This hack releases nervous energy.</li></ul><p> </p><p><a href="https://www.melrobbins.com/disclaimer" target="_blank">Disclaimer</a></p><br/> <p>Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See <a href="https://pcm.adswizz.com">pcm.adswizz.com</a> for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.</p>

The Real Reason It’s Hard to Make Big Choices

<p>Last week, I learned a really cool trick to help you go with your gut.</p><p>I guarantee you’ve never heard gut decisions explained this way before. Because I stumbled upon it in a very random way—while touring colleges with our son Oakley!</p><p>We hit 5 schools in 4 days, and over the course of that time, it hit me. Holy smokes, that's the perfect hack for making big decisions.</p><p>You can use it anytime you feel torn, uncertain, or scared about how people might feel.</p><p>What you’re about to learn is so helpful and memorable, you’ll turn to it over and over again.</p><p>This is one of my favorite kinds of episodes, because I’m going to put you right at the scene—the moment I had the epiphany. I’ll give you all the hilarious details, and there’s even a part of the story where, I am embarrassed to say, I acted pretty cringe-worthy.</p><p>And that’s not all; as I was taping this episode, two friends chimed in with stories of their own.</p><p>So I asked them to jump on the mic and share them with you. Two stories about a moment in their lives that’s so relatable—when they ALMOST didn’t go with their gut and looking back, they’re thankful they did.</p><p>Because going with your gut always changes the trajectory of your life. It just does.</p><p>That’s why I don’t like the term "trust" your gut.</p><p>It’s not about trust. You KNOW your gut is right. You’re just scared to go with it.</p><p>So join me, Oakley, and two of my friends. I’m taking you on an entertaining and profound tour today.</p><p>Xo Mel </p><p> </p><p><strong>In this episode, you’ll learn:</strong></p><p> </p><ul><li>3:30: The moment of my junior year in high school that changed my future.</li><li>7:00: I am not proud of this mother moment when I lost it.</li><li>11:00: The question Oakley asked is what we all do when we give up our power.</li><li>14:15: Here’s what a hard no “feels” like for Oakley.</li><li>15:45: Do you feel a “yes” in your body like this too?</li><li>17:00: What our brilliant tour guide did when he separated parents from students.</li><li>20:30: When it comes to big decisions, step away and go on your own tour. </li><li>22:00: Here’s what a “no” and a “yes” usually feels like in your body. </li><li>24:00: You’re going to love Amy’s “next big thing” story and how she just knew.</li><li>31:00: We all have an opportunity in our lives to use this powerful tool.</li><li>33:00: And if it doesn’t work out the way you thought it would? Listen to this.</li><li>33:45: Do you have the courage to do this?</li><li>36:30: So what do you do when you hear the NO louder than the YES?</li><li>40:30: Jessie literally followed her heart and became her own “tour guide.”</li><li>42:30: Stop staying you don't “trust your gut” and start saying this instead.</li><li>43:00: Take time to do this EVERY day, but especially when you have a big decision.</li></ul><p> </p><p><a href="https://www.melrobbins.com/disclaimer" target="_blank">Disclaimer</a></p><br/> <p>Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See <a href="https://pcm.adswizz.com">pcm.adswizz.com</a> for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.</p>

How to Make Hard Choices: Practical Tips for When Sh*t Gets Real

<p>Oh…sometimes life is a real doozy.</p><p>You make all these plans, and boom. You step right into a pile of you-know-what. And then you realize that pile was there all along—you just missed it.</p><p>Which brings us to the topic of today’s episode: making hard decisions and moving on from hard relationships.</p><p>How do you move forward when… </p><p>You feel so torn about what to do.</p><p>You don’t trust yourself.</p><p>You’re scared to make the wrong decision.</p><p>What’s best for you will impact the people you love.</p><p>How do you decide your next big move when everything you worked for evaporates before your eyes? </p><p>How do you stop thinking about your ex, especially when you might bump into them at any moment?</p><p>I’ll tell you how.</p><p>Pull up a seat and join me because you are going to love the listener, Katrina, who I’m coaching today. Her question was, "Should I stay or should I go?"</p><p>By the end of this episode, you’ll not only have the answer to whatever question YOU are grappling with, but you'll also have so many decision-making tools in your back pocket that you’re going to need more pockets.</p><p>Today, you’re getting strategies to help you</p><ul><li><i>Live your life with no regrets.</i></li><li><i>Keep your cool when you see your ex.</i></li><li><i>Bounce back after rejection.</i></li><li><i>Stop feeling guilty about following your dreams.</i></li><li><i>Make courageous decisions.</i></li></ul><p>The biggest takeaway? Knowing the difference between what’s right for you and the fear that’s keeping you from it</p><p>When something is right, even if it’s scary as hell to go for it, you’ll only ever regret not having tried.</p><p>Xo Mel</p><p>PS - If you’re looking to ditch your insecurities for a powerful way to launch forward on your dreams, I’ve got just the thing for you. Sign up for my FREE <a href="https://www.melrobbins.com/takecontrol" target="_blank">Take Control</a> mini course here.</p><p> </p><p><strong>In this episode, you’ll learn:</strong></p><p> </p><ul><li>2:20: Ever been dumped? Then you’ll relate to what Katrina is going through.</li><li>4:00: The kind of decisions that change your life don’t happen in your brain.</li><li>6:30: When you have a big decision to make, ask yourself this question.</li><li>8:15: Holding yourself back because you feel guilty? Listen to this.</li><li>11:00: The single biggest quality you want in any partner? It’s always this.</li><li>14:00: There are always red flags before a breakup, whether you saw them or not.</li><li>16:15: You deserve nothing less than these qualities from your partner.</li><li>19:00: Try role playing with a friend to help you get the closure you crave.</li><li>23:45: Use this strategy to help you make a weighty decision.</li><li>27:40: Takeaway #1: Stop running away. Think of it this way instead.</li><li>30:15: Takeaway #2: If you want closure, you have to do these two things.</li><li>30:30: Takeaway #3: If you’re going to hold yourself back, own it. Don’t blame others.</li><li>31:00: Takeaway #4: You’re making it much harder in your head.</li><li>32:00: Takeaway #5: As soon as somebody doesn’t want you, they’re not your person.</li><li>33:30: Takeaway #6: Please stop doing this after a breakup.</li><li>35:00: Takeaway #7: If it’s not love, it’s a lesson.</li><li>35:30: Takeaway #8: Don’t be caught off guard by preparing ahead of time.</li><li>37:00: Takeaway #9: You don’t need someone else to feel complete.</li><li>38:00: Takeaway #10: Don’t let your fears hold you back.</li></ul><p> </p><p><a href="https://www.melrobbins.com/disclaimer" target="_blank">Disclaimer</a></p><br/> <p>Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See <a href="https://pcm.adswizz.com">pcm.adswizz.com</a> for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.</p>

Are You an “Over” or “Under” Functioner? A Hilarious and Helpful Guide to YOUR Stress Style

<p>At some point, the you-know-what is going to hit the fan.</p><p>And it happened to me the other morning when I was driving my husband to his colonoscopy.</p><p>This is the first episode without a video version because I recorded it from my iPhone after dropping my husband off at the hospital.</p><p>I promised to take you into my life; I just didn't expect it to be as a stressful situation was unfolding in real time.</p><p>When it comes to dealing with stress, best-selling psychotherapist and researcher Harriet Lerner says that being an underfunctioner or an overfunctioner is your patterned response to dealing with the alarm in your body.</p><p>It probably doesn’t surprise you that I am what researchers call an "Overfunctioner." </p><p>My husband, Chris, is an "Underfunctioner," especially on those days when he’s on the way to a medical procedure.</p><p>And learning the way YOU react to stress is a game-changer for your relationships.</p><p>An overfunctioner like me allows the alarm in my body to take over in stressful situations, becoming triggered and anxious.</p><p>And the only way to calm the alarm is to bark orders, manage the phone calls, organize the activities, make the appointments, plan the meals, and take on all the responsibilities because it gives me a sense of control.</p><p>It may be my superpower, but it also makes me a royal pain in the a$$ and takes away the chance for Chris to feel empowered.</p><p>The way Chris deals with stress is more chill and very methodical, which frustrates the hell out of me.</p><p>Listen today as we work through these two different ways of dealing with a stressful family situation so that you can understand your own approach better and, more importantly, how to ask for what you need from others before you drive them nuts.</p><p>And if you’re ready to take the next right step to live your life with more confidence and no regrets, this is your time.</p><p>Sign up for my exclusive signature course, <a href="https://www.melrobbins.com/launch" target="_blank">Launch with Mel Robbins</a>. It’s available for registration only through May 4, so grab your spot today!</p><p>Learn all the exciting details and<a href="https://www.melrobbins.com/launch" target="_blank"> sign up here</a>!</p><p>Xo Mel </p><p> </p><p><strong>In this episode, you’ll learn:</strong><br /><br /> </p><ul><li>3:00: Let me set the scene for you before everything started blowing up.</li><li>4:30: Here’s how I set myself up to fail the night before.</li><li>7:15: Then life kicks in big time and cue the mom guilt flood gates.</li><li>10:40: Here’s what overfunctioning stress looks like in real life. Can you relate?</li><li>14:30: If you don’t catch yourself in this state, your relationships pay the price.</li><li>23:00: Chris nails the good, the bad, and the ugly side of overfunctioning.</li><li>24:15: I thank Harriet Lerner for her research that helps me understand myself.</li><li>26:30: Here’s how my anxiety sees my husband’s “underfunctioning” response to stress.</li><li>28:30: And this is how Chris sees my “overfunctioning” response.</li><li>32:00: Have a partner who handles stress differently? Here’s how to support each other.</li><li>38:00: Chris explains what happens in HIS brain and body when he’s stressed.</li><li>42:30: Holy mackerel, I just realized I never stopped to do this in my stress episode.</li><li>46:00: This is a tool our couple’s therapist gave us that really helps us to see each other.</li></ul><p> </p><p><a href="https://www.melrobbins.com/disclaimer">Disclaimer</a></p><br/> <p>Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See <a href="https://pcm.adswizz.com">pcm.adswizz.com</a> for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.</p>

You’ve Got Money All Wrong: A Step by Step Guide to Living a Rich Life

<p>You can be rich.</p><p>(Don’t roll your eyes at me; I’m serious.)</p><p>This is not what you think.</p><p>This episode today is so digestible. So counterintuitive. One of the most enlightening conversations I’ve had with anybody. </p><p>If I had a nickel for every epiphany I had during this episode, I’d be rich.</p><p>Most of us have been thinking about money all wrong.</p><p>It turns out that the amount of money you have in the bank (or don’t have in the bank) is only a small part of your relationship with money.</p><p>I didn’t realize this until I got to sit down with the incredible Ramit Sethi.</p><p>He’s a NYT best-selling author and finance advisor with a brand new, top-ranked Netflix series called How to Be Rich, where he coaches real people about how to take control of their financial lives.</p><p>He says you’ve been thinking about money all wrong. </p><p>This is one of my favorite conversations ever.</p><p>It changed the way I think about money.</p><p>If you were told that you need to create a budget and stick to it, Ramit calls BS.</p><p>Instead, you’ll learn about your money dials, the only four numbers that matter, the 85% Rule, why the 10 Year Bucket List is so important, the one thing you should NEVER say about yourself, and best of all, what it means to live a Rich Life.</p><p>Today’s episode is going to change the way you SEE money, because when you see it differently, you’ll treat it differently.</p><p>If you’re feeling crushed by debt, you’re trying to save for a new home, you can’t stop spending, or you’re constantly getting into arguments with your partner over money issues, you need to hear this episode today.</p><p>You have to learn to feel confident around money, and Ramit has the practical tools and resources to teach you how.</p><p>And if you’re looking for another zero-cost resource to help you change your mindset around finances, I’ve got just the thing.</p><p>Sign up for my free training called <a href="https://www.melrobbins.com/takecontrol" target="_blank">Take Control with Mel Robbins</a>. </p><p> </p><p>You’ll be joining a quarter million other students who’ve signed up already and you’ll get 3 incredible video trainings plus a 21-page workbook that will help you get the clarity you’re looking for to change the direction of your life. All you have to do is <a href="https://www.melrobbins.com/takecontrol" target="_blank">sign up here</a>.</p><p> </p><p>Xo Mel </p><p> </p><p><strong>In this episode, you’ll learn:</strong><br /><br /> </p><ul><li>6:05: Just like me, Ramit has his own story of big-time money loss. </li><li>11:20: Assignment #1: Think back to your 20’s and ask yourself this question. </li><li>12:45: How do your childhood influences impact your beliefs around money?</li><li>19:30: This is a truth bomb about money that you need to hear. </li><li>20:15: If you want to live a rich life, you need to do two things.</li><li>22:30: My favorite thing to spend money on might seem ridiculous.</li><li>24:45: Wondering what most people love to spend money on? </li><li>30:00: Why is it important to come up with a fun vision around money?</li><li>33:30: How do you define your “rich life”?</li><li>34:30: What is a rich life for someone living in debt?</li><li>37:45: I think everyone listening needs to do this fun activity.</li><li>40:30: Especially if life is hard right now, THIS is what you have to do..</li><li>45:30: Here’s how you step your way closer to your rich life.</li><li>47:00: How can you feel in control of something if you don’t understand the details?</li><li>48:30: The four numbers everyone should know to stop feeling overwhelmed by money.</li><li>56:00: NEVER say this about yourself because it will create your reality.</li><li>59:00: We have a bad relationship with money in this country.</li><li>50:00: Use this tool to figure out how long it will pay off your debt.</li><li>1:06:30: The two areas most people spend too much money on.</li><li>1:10:00: Ramit lays down the bottom line about changing your mindset around money. </li><li>1:13:00: Here’s your new money mantra to play on repeat. </li></ul><p> </p><p><a href="https://www.melrobbins.com/disclaimer" target="_blank">Disclaimer</a></p><p> </p><br/> <p>Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See <a href="https://pcm.adswizz.com">pcm.adswizz.com</a> for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.</p>

Incredible Research From Harvard: 4 Simple Tools to Conquer Your Fear

<p>A few years ago, I found this study from Harvard, and it changed my life.</p><p>It's research about performance and feeling nervous, with a simple reframing method that you can use to never let fear stop you again.</p><p>I’ve been using this technique with my five second rule for years, and the first way I applied it was to get control of my nerves and fear of public speaking.</p><p>I’m going to teach you this new method in a super cool way... by taking you on the road, on stage, and behind the scenes with me as I deliver a keynote address to 3,000 people at the convention center in Dallas.</p><p>I’ve been wanting to bring you on the road with me for awhile, and this topic allowed me to record this episode live in multiple locations while all kinds of things were unfolding.</p><p>There’s even an impromptu guest appearance from Michelle Poler, whose entire speaking career is about teaching people how to face their fears.</p><p>This Harvard-backed technique is so cool because it leverages your body chemistry, physiology, and neural pathways to your advantage.</p><p>The #1 fear most people have is public speaking, but this technique will help you with absolutely everything, whether it’s speaking up at work, giving an incredible presentation, not choking when you deliver the toast at your best friend’s wedding, performing better on tests, or even running better.</p><p>Stop letting fear hold you back. Use science not only to reframe your fears into excitement but to conquer them once and for all.</p><p>And one more thing. My free, brand new, research-backed training called "<a href="https://www.melrobbins.com/takecontrol" target="_blank">Take Control with Mel Robbins</a>" is live and waiting for you. Get 3 incredible video trainings plus a 21-page workbook, and all you have to do is <a href="https://www.melrobbins.com/takecontrol" target="_blank">sign up here</a>.</p><p>Already a quarter of a million students are taking the course for free.</p><p>I’m just waiting for you!</p><p>Xo Mel </p><p> </p><p><strong>In this episode, you’ll learn:</strong><br /><br /> </p><ul><li>5:00: I’m always asked how I got into public speaking. Here’s the story.</li><li>10:15: The question YOU need to ask when someone asks how much you charge.</li><li>12:15: One of THE best tools to calm your nerves is not meditation (for me), but this.</li><li>13:30: This is my favorite quote from Charlie Bird Parker.</li><li>15:15: The wardrobe failure that may have rivaled Janet Jackson’s.</li><li>16:30: Failure sucks, but the Pratfall Effect says failure can work for you. </li><li>19:00: I was so excited to meet this speaker and bestselling author from Venezuela.</li><li>21:45: Best journal starter question ever:<i> Are you alive but not living</i>?</li><li>24:30: Feeling like you never have time? You’re not going to believe this advice.</li><li>28:15: Turns out modeling nude is actually a really profound experience. </li><li>29:00: Fear might indicate danger OR it might indicate growth. Pay attention.</li><li>30:00: How can you tell the difference between true intuition and limiting fear?</li><li>32:30: How do you get over your fear of public speaking?</li><li>34:00: Feeling imposter syndrome? You’re not alone. Here’s what you need.</li><li>40:15: Come on stage with me at the Dallas Convention Center.</li><li>40:40: I’m going to face my biggest fear next year for Oakley’s 18th birthday.</li><li>42:00: When you do something that scares the pants off you, remember this.</li><li>44:30: Tool #3 is based on research from Harvard - here’s what you tell yourself.</li><li>50:00: You don’t feel butterflies when you’re nervous because you’re going to screw up.</li></ul><p> </p><p><a href="https://www.melrobbins.com/disclaimer" target="_blank">Disclaimer</a></p><br/> <p>Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See <a href="https://pcm.adswizz.com">pcm.adswizz.com</a> for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.</p>