Trump to Blame for Explosive Diarrhea Outbreak, Chuck Schumer's Loud Fart & Joe Biden’s Memoir

Wow. Hello everyone. Welcome. I am your guest host Ike Baron Holtz. You are here.

Thank you. Thank you. Okay. Okay. You are here on a historic night.

Mark my words. This will be Jimmy Kimmel Live's highest rated show ever. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry.

No, no. I I I I mean Jimmy Kimmel Live's highest show ever. Seth Rogan is here. He's here.

He's in the building. I saw him. I saw him. Uh Seth and I worked together on a show called The Studio, which Okay.

Okay. Uh Seth co-created that. He's the director. So, in a way, it's like my boss is here tonight.

So, everyone be on your best behavior and take whatever drugs he gives you. Okay. >> KMO. >> Yes, of course.

Yes. I'm ready. I'm ready. I love I love drugs. >> I think I think he already got started early.

I think you already took some drugs. Uh uh folks, did we watch the big World Cup today between England and Argentina? >> Yeah, that's crazy. England and Argentina.

What is this? The Faulland's War of 1982. >> Now, here's the deal, guys. While I know that joke is not funny. I told it for a very important reason, to remind

you that I'm a Jeopardy champion >> and yes, and I won Who Wants to be a Millionaire. So, that was a smart joke. It was a smart joke. Uh uh it was another dramatic come from behind win

for Argentina. They're now There we go. They're now arguably the best team in the tournament and the best country in the world at hiding escaped Nazis. They did it.

They did it. I didn't do it. They did it. This was the winning goal in the 91st minute. England lost the game and the announcer sadly lost his

voice. Go die go. He he died doing what he loved, yelling gold over and over. Wonderful man.

Argentina will face Spain in the final on Sunday. There's a lot at stake. The winner will take home the FIFA trophy and the loser will be forced to eat the remainder of America's diarrhea lettuce.

What the hell? We've been following this story very closely here at Jimmy Kimmel Live all week and and the the outbreak of explosive diarrhea sweeping the nation has now spread to 34 states including right here in California.