Parenting

Autism Dadcast

Gaz and Andrew

An unfiltered, unflinching, and occasionally inappropriate deep dive into the world of autism parenting-from a dad's perspective.

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#44 | Stem Cells & Autism: Hope, Science, or a Very Expensive Gamble?
18 Tem 20261h 36m
Across the world, parents of autistic children are being offered something thatsounds almost miraculous. Clinics promise better speech, better eye contact,calmer behaviour, and in some cases claim to repair or reverse autism. The priceruns from £10,000 to £40,000, and often more than once. Over the last few months we've been approached by clinic after clinic wanting tocome on the show and sell it to you. We said no. Instead we went and read thestudies. This one isn't about having a go at parents. Every parent looking at this isacting out of love, and we've both been desperate enough to try anything. Butlove doesn't mean a clinic gets to make huge claims without evidence. Stem celltherapy is a legitimate area of research. It is not currently a proven treatmentfor autism, and there's a difference between something being researched andsomething being proven. We also get into the ITV whistleblower, and the GB News piece asking whether"those people" should have access to children. Timestamps00:00 Hope, science, or a very expensive gamble02:21 We are not attacking parents10:15 What autism actually is13:18 What stem cells actually are15:56 The 2017 Duke study, 25 kids and no placebo18:47 The 2020 Duke study, and what it found24:38 Claim: a 95% success rate29:08 Why you'd swear blind it worked31:45 Thomas and Lydia progressed. Neither had stem cells35:37 Claim: it repairs the autistic brain38:12 Claim: most children improve40:45 Claim: our treatment is evidence based43:02 The risks nobody puts in the brochure48:00 What that money could buy instead50:45 The influencer taking commission54:02 Have a word with yourself66:45 "Have you missed the treatment window?"72:32 Myths and facts82:55 The ITV whistleblower86:50 GB News and "those people" Latest episode in the link tree in bio.
#43 | "Where Will They Be When They're 30?" | Jolanta Lasota, Ambitious about Autism
9 Tem 202650 min
This week Gaz and Andy sit down with Jolanta Lasota, Chief Executive of Ambitious about Autism, at their college in Isleworth. 16 years leading the charity and mum to a 21-year-old autistic son, Jolanta has seen the whole picture, from the early years right through to adulthood and employment. We talk about why purpose matters more than exams, the young man who is non-speaking and holds down two jobs, the boy who was allowed to come to school in his pyjamas, and naming the grief nobody warns you about. Jolanta describes raising an autistic child as walking through woods with no path and no torch, and says the job is to be the one who carries the light. Honest, hopeful, and one of our favourite conversations yet. Timestamps- 00:00 Welcome, and where we are today- 00:27 [GUEST]'s journey, 16 years at Ambitious about Autism- 01:07 What's really changed in how we understand autism- 05:57 The sensory pod that blew us away- 06:58 The schools, the age groups, and post-19 provision- 10:36 Why "purpose" matters more than a curriculum- 12:20 "Walking through woods with no torch": what family life feels like- 13:27 The non-speaking young man with two jobs- 15:03 Are employers actually changing?- 15:49 Policy, the white paper, and autism as a political football- 20:06 Being the "happy helper", never enemy-ising people- 22:14 What school looks like at four to seven- 24:40 Focus on strengths, don't drill them on what they can't do- 27:09 Gaz's own school story: six D's and learning differently- 33:03 The weight of GCSEs and "lost leaders"- 38:02 Don't underestimate them: the iPad "daddy" moment- 40:28 Parents' guilt, and why it won't always be okay- 43:47 Grief without a death- 45:06 What's next for Ambitious about Autism- 49:13 Thanks and close
#42 | "I Wouldn't Pay A Penny To Change Him" | Paul Mullin On Albi, Autism & Being A Dad
26 Haz 202645 min
Paul Mullin has scored goals in front of millions and become a household name through Welcome to Wrexham. But this one is about the part of his life the cameras rarely catch: being dad to Albi, his autistic son.Gaz and Andy sit down with Paul for an honest, Albi-centric conversation about the regression that stopped his little boy in his tracks, the guilt that kept him up at night, and why he wouldn't change a single thing about his son. Plus the moment Albi found a way to tell him 'you're my best friend' without saying a word.If you have ever felt like the only dad going through this, this one is for you.Timestamps00:00 Welcome Paul Mullin01:00 The first signs, and Albi after his 12-month jabs02:00 Regression: like a click of the fingers04:00 The guilt, and crying himself to sleep04:30 I wouldn't pay a penny to change him05:35 Denial, and getting the diagnosis07:20 Speaking about it on Welcome to Wrexham08:24 The hope that kills you11:38 Why 'he'll be fine' doesn't help13:00 Did he grieve? The problem-solver dad16:14 Being a footballer dad: time away and routine19:12 How Albi communicates now22:15 Holidays: frozen meals, dry ice and the airport25:40 Coming home: holidays, holidays, holidays27:50 Razor-sharp awareness: he just knows29:20 The crafty negotiator: jet skis and boats33:40 The best friend clip35:07 Macho on the pitch, in tears at home35:48 Autism in Racing and giving back38:26 Nobody ever asks the dad how he is43:00 Advice to a dad just starting the journeyNew episodes of the Autism Dadcast every week. Real talk, real dads, real autism. Listen, follow and find everything in our link tree in bio.
#41 | How One Wrong Word Can Ruin An Entire Day
19 Haz 20261h 2m
One missed board and one wrong word at in the morning, and Thomas's whole morning falls apart. This week Gaz and Andy unpack how much detail autistic kids track, why a single word can rewrite their day, and how much they understand even mid-meltdown. Plus Lydia becomes swimmer of the week, the new-neighbour conversation every autism parent knows, and an honest, conflicted take on the under-16 social media ban and what it overlooks for autistic teens.Timestamps00:00 Charlie's shop opening and meeting Sophie the BTS superfan02:00 Lydia's swimming breakthrough: swimmer of the week03:40 Thomas's Monday meltdown: how one wrong word derailed the morning06:10 He knew the score: what the meltdown hid09:15 The new neighbour, the fence, and explaining autism again11:05 Attention to detail: the thing they do best14:35 The under-16 social media ban: where we land26:15 What the ban gets wrong about autistic kidsLatest episode and Discord in the link tree in our bio. Merch from Neurospicy & Co at <a href="http://neurospicyandco.uk/" rel="ugc noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">neurospicyandco.uk</a>, 10% off with code DADCAST.
#40 | Toilet training, Autism & Gut Health.
11 Haz 20261h 17m
Every parent of an autistic child has been told the same thing: just take the nappy off and sit them on the toilet. This week Gaz and Andy sit down with Charmaine, a learning disability nurse turned continence consultant with over 30 years of experience, and find out why that advice not only fails, it can make things worse.What starts as a chat about toilet training turns into something much bigger: gut health, the gut-brain connection, sleep, meltdowns, and the quiet toll this takes on a whole family. Charmaine explains why you have to start inside the body and not on the toilet, why it is learning and not training, and why no parent struggling with this has ever been failing.If you have ever felt judged, stuck, or completely on your own with this, this one is for you.Chapters00:00 Meet Charmaine, continence consultant02:45 Why toilet training is so hard for autistic kids03:34 Gut health and the gut biome05:43 The gut as a second brain10:07 Where to actually start (inside the body)11:59 The Bristol stool chart21:54 Nobody makes mistakes: parent blame and misinformation25:51 Learning, not training30:05 Why rewards do not work38:20 What the NHS offers, and the postcode lottery49:53 Why it works at home but not at school53:47 It was never lazy parenting57:42 Sleep, the brain and meltdowns1:08:50 Charmaine's support group and free resources1:13:18 The real cost: holidays, work and isolationFind CharmaineClear Steps Consultancy: <a href="https://www.clearstepsconsultancy.co.uk/" rel="noopener noreferrer">https://www.clearstepsconsultancy.co.uk</a>Support group: How to Get the Wee and Poo in the Loo (videos, live sessions and free downloads)Socials: search "continence consultant and trainer" on Facebook, Instagram and LinkedInNew episodes of the Autism Dadcast every week. Real talk, real dads, real autism. Listen, follow and find everything in our link tree in bio.
#39 | "He Opened The Door And Just Walked Off"
4 Haz 202658 min
You can know your child inside out and still be blindsided in the space of a week.This one starts with Thomas opening the front door and wandering off down a hill in a quiet Shropshire village - the same week Lydia did almost exactly the same thing. From there it runs into the half-term chaos that brought biting back out of nowhere, the dread of summer toilet training and puberty creeping into view, and a proper kicking of the Department for Education for handing SEND to Gemma Collins after the white paper left families feeling gaslit.Underneath the rage and the dark humour, it lands somewhere quieter. Gaz and Andy talk about the pre-autism photos, the grief that takes turns between two parents, and the two-second forehead touch that says everything a spoken "I love you" never will.You'll come away realising two things can be true at once. You can grieve the life you pictured and still get up and be the dad your kid actually needs.
#38 | "What If You Didn't Have to Fight So Hard?"
20 May 20261h 3m
You sit down with the paediatrician. You've got half an hour. You know thefirst 20 minutes will be you trying to prove your child is different to everyother child in that waiting room - and you'll walk out no further forward. Orrin Benford knows that feeling. After a year of being fobbed off across GPs,neurologists and urologists for his daughter Indie, he stopped trying toremember everything off the top of his head and built something that did itfor him. This episode is about what happens when parents stop fighting andstart advocating - with the full picture, not a half-remembered one. In this episode: Orrin's journey from digital-nomad life to full-time parentcarer in Australia, why so many parents feel gaslit by the system, thedifference between fighting and effective advocacy, and how technology isfinally letting parents drive change instead of waiting for the system tocatch up. 🔑 Key moments:- 00:38 — Orrin's story: England, Australia, and an airport on Christmas Day- 04:29 — The seizure the day after Indie's first birthday- 12:15 — Healthcare in Australia vs the UK vs Dubai- 17:05 — Why parents hand over "dirty, incomplete data"- 19:22 — The two-page summary that changed everything- 25:16 — Why it's not gaslighting, but it feels like it- 37:35 — The handovers, the ring binders, and the things you forget- 46:19 — The things that break parents are the things that didn't need to happen If this episode helped, subscribe and leave a review - it helps other parents find us. Follow Orrin: @OrrinBenford | The app: @theindiapp #AutismDadcast #Autism #Parenting #Neurodiversity #ASD #SEND
#37 | "The Word That Broke Me in Popeye's"
12 May 20261h 3m
Adam Parkinson came on this week. One of the Two Mr. Ps. Teaching assistant. Podcaster. Dad of two — a 10-year-old daughter and a 7-year-old autistic son called Max.We talked about Max. We talked about the plane aisle moment his wife filmed without telling him, that went viral and started everything. We talked about siblings, and what it means to watch your daughter try not to look upset when her brother destroys her Barbie Dream House. We talked about online trolls, the dads' WhatsApp group, and the time a stranger told him celebrating his son's diagnosis was "like celebrating your kid having cancer."And we talked about the moment in Popeye's last weekend when Max tried a chicken tender for the first time, looked up, and said one word he'd never said before. Timestamps:0:00 — SATs week, Popeye's, and a school uniform standoff3:00 — Meet Adam and the family4:00 — Spotting it during lockdown5:18 — You're allowed to mourn the life you planned6:23 — The plane aisle video that started everything8:31 — Isla, sibling of the year10:55 — When the Barbie Dream House got destroyed11:53 — You can never relax13:16 — What people don't understand until they live it15:14 — The small wins nobody else sees17:25 — Autism top trumps and 23 hours awake18:30 — Handling violent moments differently after the community20:07 — Verdict. Great. Outstanding.21:25 — Are dads in the SEND world overlooked?24:33 — Permission to talk26:55 — The celebrating cancer comment28:13 — Chubby Tommy Robinson and other DMs31:51 — The dads' WhatsApp army38:33 — Two Mr. Ps and how it started49:17 — Pen licences and getting recognised in your swimming shorts59:55 — Adam's advice to a dad at diagnosis
#36 | "Are We Doing As Much As We Can?"
8 May 202648 min
We ran the London Marathon. We didn't train. We finished it. And then we had a conversation we weren't expecting to have. Halfway through writing this off as a marathon recap, we ended up admitting something neither of us had said out loud before. We talk a lot about wanting to be around as long as we can for our kids. But if we're honest, we're not always doing the things that would actually make that happen. This one's got the funny stuff. The rhinos overtaking us. The fireman in full kit with an air canister on his back. The stranger who fed Gaz crisps when his calf cramped outside a pub. But underneath all of it, the question we couldn't stop asking each other. Are we doing enough? And if we're not, when does that stop? Timestamps:0:00 — Medals, recovery, and the post-marathon shock1:00 — The trainer mistake nobody warned us about3:30 — Hitting the wall at 25k4:53 — How slick the event actually was6:30 — Cody's Sark and looking for Mish in the crowd7:34 — Tower Bridge and faking it for the BBC camera8:35 — "I'd love to do it again, but I'd train this time"9:00 — Why we're already signing up for next year11:21 — The bug we didn't expect to catch12:23 — The honest conversation about staying alive14:14 — What you'd say on your deathbed16:11 — The other dads getting stuck in19:07 — Sean's response when he saw Mish19:33 — Ambitious About Autism at mile 2521:13 — Garmin lies and the 22-mile detour22:35 — The fridge runner and the dementia genes23:34 — The best of London on one day27:19 — Why the donations kept us going29:51 — The crisps, the IPA and the kindness of strangers35:01 — Crossing the line and the wave of emotion35:32 — The voice note that made Gaz cry36:48 — The school forgot Thomas's good luck present37:41 — A shout out to Spot Limited40:11 — Buying us a coffee mid-marathon41:35 — Adam Parkinson and the Australian app42:31 — The kick up the arse we needed
#35 | What Mums Wish We Knew
21 Nis 20261h 46m
We put two sets of questions to the community. One for dads, one for mums. The dads sent seven. The mums sent seventeen. And most of the mums' questions were about how to get their partner on board.This one hits different. We talk about what happens when you refuse to accept your child's diagnosis. Why dads get left behind. Why mums end up carrying everything. And the moment you have to stop making it about you and start making it about your kid.We also answer the question nobody wants to think about: what do you actually miss? Not the big stuff. The everyday things that every other parent takes for granted.If you're a dad still sitting on the fence, this is the one.Timestamps:0:00 — Marathon panic and stepping in human feces4:39 — Q&A starts: dads' questions5:06 — How did the diagnosis hit you?11:27 — Living in silence and burnout17:33 — Golden hope for adulthood19:25 — Low expectations and why we stop pushing our kids23:05 — Why mums do all the work29:01 — Should the UK adopt autism levels?32:12 — Guilt of calling home from work34:53 — Mums' questions begin35:02 — Why does mum do all the research?39:29 — The wake-up call for dads41:44 — How to support your partner after diagnosis46:42 — Processing trauma of being dismissed52:30 — Coping with isolation1:00:04 — The video that broke us1:02:14 — Advice for grandparents, friends, and family1:10:22 — Coping as a single mum1:14:03 — Keeping calm when professionals fail you1:19:22 — Why is it so hard to be heard?1:22:36 — Unawareness in the medical community1:25:35 — No support after diagnosis1:26:59 — Why aren't there enough specialist schools?1:32:22 — What do dads miss the most?1:36:24 — Supporting a partner as a stepparent1:40:39 — Helping your husband find his tribe
#34 | When You Die, Will They Know You Didn't Leave?
14 Nis 20261h
What happens when you die and your child doesn't understand death? What if they just think you walked away?That's where this conversation ended up. It started with a story about a mum who overheard a dad talking about his autistic son and accused him of saying his life was harder than hers. It turned into something neither Gaz nor Andy were prepared for. Pre-recorded death videos. Whether your child needs to see your body. The arithmetic of outliving someone who might never understand why you're not there anymore.They also talk about why parents of high-functioning autistic children are often fighting the system harder than anyone else, why dads stop telling their mates anything, and what happens when you've been in combat mode so long you can't switch it off.Plus: the Guardian photoshoot, the London Marathon in two weeks, a game-changing app for SEND parents landing in the UK, and Sean ran another half marathon for fun.0:00 — Back from Cyprus, the Guardian photoshoot4:23 — The pronoun conversation follow-up5:37 — The dad who stopped telling his mates7:21 — The mum who switched9:39 — The "top trumps" problem in the community13:47 — Luke's story: when your child can't live with you16:04 — What happens when I die?17:33 — The pre-recorded death video18:40 — Love on the Spectrum and the parents who can't grow old22:30 — Everyone's struggles are relative27:51 — The system was worse 30 years ago34:24 — The Discord and epic fails43:16 — The app that's going to change things45:29 — London Marathon and Ambitious About Autism50:22 — Why we're terrible at replying to messagesIf this helped, subscribe and leave a review. It helps other parents find us.#AutismDadcast #Autism #Parenting #Neurodiversity #ASD #SEND
#33 | "We Have to Pay to Keep Parenting."
31 Mar 20261h 1m
When your autistic child turns 18, you stop being their parent in the eyes of the law. You have to apply to the Court of Protection, pay £850, wait four months, and hope social services don't oppose it. If you don't, hospitals won't listen to you and you can't touch their bank account.We didn't know this. Most parents of young autistic children don't. A petition hit the parliamentary website asking for it to be scrapped for families where a capacity assessment already confirms the child permanently lacks capacity. The government said no.This week we also talk about Andy's relationship breaking down, what it's like becoming one of the statistics, and the growing pile of comments from people telling us we're doing this wrong. From "did you ask your daughter's permission" to "autism doesn't exist, it's just bad parenting" from a mainstream teacher. We read them out. We don't hold back.Plus the London Marathon is three and a half weeks away. The furthest either of us has run is 5K. Sean has been smashing half marathons. We're in trouble.🔑 Key moments:0:00 — We're back2:02 — Andy's relationship breakdown5:12 — The petition that stopped us scrolling5:38 — What happens when your autistic child turns 186:35 — Deputyship: what it costs and what happens if you don't apply9:05 — The government's response10:35 — London Marathon training (or lack of it)14:06 — £6,559 raised for Ambitions About Autism17:59 — The Cyprus autism half marathon28:26 — How we upset people (reform, pronouns, and profoundly autistic)40:03 — The pronoun comment43:14 — The Hidden 20% podcast backlash45:57 — "Did you ask your daughter's permission?"51:56 — "Classic autism parents making money off their children"53:47 — A teacher who says autism doesn't existIf this episode helped, subscribe and leave a review — it helps other parents find us.#AutismDadcast #Autism #Parenting #Neurodiversity #ASD #SEND
#32 | "I Nearly Drove Away and Never Came Back"
23 Mar 20261h 8m
If you've ever looked at your child mid-meltdown and thought "I can't do this anymore," this one's for you.In this episode, Gaz sits down with his wife Mish for a raw, unfiltered conversation about what life was really like from the moment Thomas was born. The traumatic birth. The baby who wouldn't latch, wouldn't calm, wouldn't make eye contact. The feeling of being nothing more than a feeding machine while every other mum seemed to have it figured out. The sleepless nights on a single bed downstairs. The marriage that quietly slid into housemate territory without either of them noticing.Mish talks openly about the moment she nearly got in the car and drove away. About sobbing for two weeks solid after accepting the diagnosis. About looking at Gaz and resenting him for not falling apart the way she was.But this episode isn't just the hard stuff. It's the story of how a picture of a car, a laminator, and principles borrowed from military dog training unlocked communication with their non-verbal son. How Thomas went from endless meltdowns to independently spelling words to tell his parents what he wanted. How that one breakthrough changed everything for the whole family.If you're a parent who feels like your child is trapped inside their own head, this might be the most important hour you spend this week. 🔑 Key moments:0:00 — Thomas's birth and the early signs9:25 — "Something isn't clicking" — Mish's gut feeling13:00 — The meltdowns and the marriage falling apart19:00 — The photo that made Gaz accept it22:00 — The diagnosis and the grief that followed30:26 — "I nearly drove away" — Mish's breaking point33:22 — Communication cards: where it all started41:40 — The moment Thomas brought them a picture46:50 — Thomas spells C-A-R on his bedroom floor57:44 — Mish's advice to parents who don't know where to startIf this episode helped, subscribe and leave a review. It helps other parents find us.#AutismDadcast #Autism #Parenting #Neurodiversity #ASD #SEND
#31 | We Asked the Minister
17 Mar 202632 min
The government's SEND White Paper promises a better system. But what happens when the independent expert on your complaints panel gets outvoted by governors? We asked the Minister directly.Gaz and Andy sat down with Georgia Gould, Minister for Schools, inside the Department for Education to put the questions SEND families are actually asking. The tribunal gap. The complaints panel. The undefined "complex needs" threshold. The workforce that doesn't exist yet.She answered all of it — and some of her answers might surprise you.Key moments:2:10 — The tribunal gap: what parents can and can't challenge4:06 — The complaints panel: can the SEND expert be outvoted?7:05 — Why families still have to go back to their local authority11:02 — The 90% debt write-off: what are the conditions?16:11 — "Complex needs" isn't defined. Who decides?25:21 — The workforce problem: what if the specialists aren't there?This is the conversation the SEND community needed to happen. Whether you leave reassured or more concerned - you need to hear it.
#30 | Inside the White Paper: What We Fought to Change
7 Mar 20261h 2m
Two SEND parents were inside the government meetings every week for months. Here's what they saw — and what they had to fight to change.In this episode, Gaz and Andy sit down with Hayley and Aimee from SEND Sanctuary, who were part of the official SEND Improvement Group advising on the white paper. They break down what's actually in it, what nearly made it in that didn't, and why the bits that got quietly removed should worry every SEND family in England. 🔑 Key moments:<ul><li>The appeal right that was nearly stripped — and how they got it put back</li><li>Why local authorities got off scot-free while schools carry the load</li><li>The Children and Wellbeing Bill that could force you to keep your child in a failing placement</li><li>The four-tier system explained by people who read it before you did</li><li>The backlash they faced from within the community for being in the room</li></ul>If this episode helped, subscribe and leave a review — it helps other parents find us.#AutismDadcast #SENDWhitePaper #SEND #Autism #SpecialEducationalNeeds #SENDReform #EHCPTribunal #Parenting #Neurodiversity #SENDParents
#29 | EHCPs “Protected Until 2030” Then What?
18 Şub 20261h 4m
We talk through the latest SEND reform leaks and why the “EHCPs protected until 2030” line doesn’t feel like protection at all. We get into the DfE promo videos, the staged “mainstream SEND classroom” example, and why it looks like the narrative is being set before the white paper drops.Key themes:- EHCPs “protected until 2030” and what that implies after- Mainstream capacity promises vs real-world needsThe stereotype kit: fidgets, coloured cards, tidy optics- Safety Valve scheme and the financial incentive to reduce EHCPs- 90% deficit write-off and the conditions attached- Reform plans, targets, and the fear of rights being weakened- Teacher burnout and what happens when support is missing- The human cost: meltdowns, exclusion, self-harm, families breakingZoom out and it all looks like money first, optics second, and families last. You can’t fix systemic failure with a glossy brochure and a box of fidget spinners. If the plan is to push more kids into mainstream, where’s the plan to build specialist places, train staff properly, and stop the constant crisis management.If you’re living this, you’re not imagining it. You’re not being dramatic. You’re seeing the gap between what they say and what actually happens.
#28 | Your SEND Stories: Where You’ve Been Failed
12 Şub 20261h 14m
This episode isn’t about us.It’s about you.We asked families to share where they’ve been failed by the SEND system. What came back was overwhelming.Draft EHCPs left open for months. Support written into plans but never delivered. Children kept “on roll” with no education. Operational failures that destroyed trust. Teenagers saying they’d rather be dead than go back to school.These aren’t isolated stories. The patterns are repeating across the country.With SEND reform on the horizon, we’re asking a simple question:If the system already isn’t delivering what’s legally required, what happens next?If you recognise yourself in this episode, you’re not alone.
#27 | SEND Reform Leaks
29 Oca 20261h 13m
We’ve had SEND reform info leaked from a source being called credible, and it’s been picked up by The i Paper and the Financial Times. If it’s real, it suggests a four tier non-statutory system before a child can even qualify for an EHCP, with the EHCP sitting above it all like some golden ticket. That matters because non-statutory support can’t be appealed, and it basically creates a fail-first pathway where kids have to struggle repeatedly before anyone is legally forced to help. We’re not scaremongering. We’re reading what’s out there and reacting as two dads who’ve lived the EHCP reality and know how bad it already is even with legal rights in place. We talk about what this could mean for families who’ve fought years for an EHCP, whether existing plans would be protected, and why a shift from legal duty to “discretion” is the bit people aren’t clocking yet. The support doesn’t just change, the power changes. We also read a message from a family about a five year old who’s non-verbal, in nappies, and placed in mainstream with unsafe outcomes. That’s happening now, under the current framework. So what happens if the right to challenge disappears and the only thing you can appeal is whether the process was followed. We get into the knock-on effect for teachers, schools, and neurotypical kids too. This isn’t just a SEND issue. If you overload mainstream with needs it can’t meet, it hits everyone, fast. If this goes sideways, the only move is organisation. Flood MPs. Make it the only thing they can’t ignore.
#26 | £55,000 To Get Her Child Help
20 Oca 20261h 3m
We met with the Schools Minister this week. We sat with Georgia Gould on a panel for an hour and we asked the questions you sent in. Georgia suggested coming on the podcast for a long form conversation. We didn't ask for it, she offered. That impressed us because politicians don't usually put themselves in uncomfortable positions like that. Then we got a message from a parent who had to remortgage their house for £55,000 to get their child the placement they needed. Fifty five thousand pounds. We got another message last week about £30,000. This is what families are doing just to get their kids the support they deserve while there's already a legal framework in place that's supposed to be doing this.The Discord went live on Saturday. Two days in and people are already helping each other with private assessments, sleep issues, mobility questions, everything. The Stim and Whistle had its first Saturday night lock in and it went off for two and a half hours. Zoe said she was shy and then became the life of the party and got everyone talking.Thomas went to Sainsburys and scanned his own jelly at the self checkout. A few months ago we couldn't even get him through the doors. Lydia might be gluten intolerant so we're looking at food tolerance tests. Stephen sent a voice note about it after hearing what she eats.We also talk about the Autism Barbie backlash that wasn't actually a backlash once we heard from a parent whose daughter saw it and said she's just like me. That changed everything for us.
#25 | We're Meeting The Minister for School Minister
14 Oca 202644 min
First episode back after Christmas and we're catching up on everything. Andy talks about how lowering expectations made Christmas actually work this year. Gaz shares how Mish built Thomas a cardboard slide and put all his presents at the bottom so he could slide straight into them. Pot of Pringles was one of the presents and that was the win right there.Lydia's eating fried eggs now. Full runny yolk. She's licking butter off toast and kissing TV screens when steaks appear. New foods are landing and nobody knows why but we're taking the wins.We get into the reality of being constantly vigilant. Mish nearly opened the car door to put a bag in while the school bus was there and caught herself just in time because that one move could have derailed the whole morning. That's the chess game we're all playing every single day.The Christmas special at Henry Tudor House went better than expected. People jumped on the mic and shared their stories. Steven came down and blew everyone's minds talking about spellers and non verbal communication. If you haven't watched that clip yet, go find it. Watch it twice.Wednesday we're meeting with the Schools Minister to talk about the SEND white paper. We've got two questions we can ask and we've taken everything the community sent in and boiled it down. We'll see if this is real consultation or just going through the motions.Plus we talk about going number one in Zimbabwe, planning ticketed events, building a Discord server, and whether anyone would actually pay to see two blokes from Shropshire talk about autism.
"I Didn't Want To Go Home"
31 Ara 202531 min
He had the house. The job. The wife. Three kids. On paper, everything was fine.But by the time his son Mason was three or four, he was falling apart. Barely sleeping. Drinking too much. Finding any excuse to stay out longer. Supermarket runs for things they didn't need. One more round at the pub. Anything to delay walking through the front door.He wasn't a bad dad. He just didn't know how to be one — not for a child like Mason. Non-verbal. ADHD. Severe sleep issues. Smashing up the house. And a system that kept saying no.It took a huge row with his wife for something to shift. And it took a reckless, credit-card-funded trip to Disney World to finally understand what his son actually needed.Because in Florida, something changed. Mason — the kid who couldn't queue, couldn't wait, couldn't regulate — went on a roller coaster and came out a different child. Slept every night. Engaged. Calm. Two weeks of the son they always knew was in there.Then they came home. And within weeks, it all came back.This is what it's like to glimpse what's possible — and then have to figure out how to recreate it in a world that isn't built for your kid.Dan talks about the drinking, the guilt, the isolation, the fear of what happens when they're gone, and the relentless reality of raising a child who will probably need support forever. He also talks about hope. Because there is some. Even when it doesn't feel like it.
They Put Him In A Converted Staff Room
30 Ara 202515 min
A mainstream school put their autistic son in a converted staff room and left him there for two years. They called it support.Alan and his wife Alex fought for a specialist placement. Now Magnus is in a school with just 15 children total - five per key stage, one SEN teacher, and four teaching assistants. The transformation has been staggering. He's reading full books out loud for the first time in two years. He's responding to "now and next" language. He understands cause and effect in ways he never did before.But getting here meant watching their son be warehoused in a room where nobody knew how to teach him. The staff were kind. The setting was wrong. And for two years, Magnus was left to his own devices while the system insisted this counted as provision.This conversation captures what "night and day" actually looks like when an autistic child finally lands in the right environment - and the quiet fury of knowing it should never have taken this long.Alan also talks about the hidden logistics of raising Magnus alongside his neurotypical twin sister Freya. The two of them have vastly different needs, and balancing those needs means separate days out, careful attention management, and accepting that equal doesn't always mean identical.Christmas in their household requires military-level planning. Presents hidden in locked cupboards and the boot of the car. Paper wrapped around the top of the stairs to buy an extra hour before the kids come down. Freya tears through her gifts in minutes while Magnus opens one, walks into the kitchen, and doesn't return to the rest for hours. They've learned to let him set the pace.There's also the sibling dynamic that nobody prepares you for. Freya understands Magnus is different. She's fiercely protective of him. When a boy at soft play grabbed Magnus, seven-year-old Freya - who does MMA - Sparta kicked him down the slide. Alan was proud. The other kid was crying. No apologies were offered.And then there's Anne, the next-door neighbour who deserves a shoutout. Magnus has a habit of bouncing on the trampoline and launching everything he owns over the fence. Once a week, Anne returns a carrier bag full of dinosaurs, Teletubbies, and number blocks. Her greenhouse is still standing. Somehow.This episode is honest, funny, and full of the details that only parents living this life would recognise. It's a conversation about what support should look like, what it often doesn't, and the small victories that make the hard days worth it.
I Wasn't The Naughty Kid
28 Ara 202531 min
She spent her childhood in detention. Locked a teacher in a cupboard. Sat in corridors alone while everyone else learned. Missed the last six months of school because nobody wanted her there.She wasn't naughty. She was undiagnosed.Charlie was finally diagnosed autistic at 32 and ADHD three weeks before this conversation. By then, she'd already closed her business to become a full-time carer for her son AJ — non-verbal, tube-fed, PDA profile, sensory processing difficulties. A child the system repeatedly failed until she walked into school and said "help me or this kid's getting taken off me."Before his feeding tube, AJ didn't eat for six weeks. His lips were peeling. He was grey. His ribs were showing. He looked, in her words, dead. And still the support didn't come until she was already broken.Now she's raising three neurodivergent kids — all different, all on the spectrum, all requiring completely different approaches. She's also built Neurospicy, a clothing brand that refuses the puzzle pieces and the sanitised narratives. And she's planning something bigger: a sensory-friendly soft play hub where families like hers can actually exist in public without being stared at.This is what happens when no one catches you. And what it looks like when you decide to build the thing that should have existed all along.
"No One Has Ever Failed"
26 Ara 202537 min
Steven has no autistic children. No family connection. No commercial interest. He just watched a movie and couldn't look away.In January, he was driving his van on the M1, listening to a documentary called The Spellers. It's about non-verbal autistic children who learned to communicate by pointing to letters on a board. 48 minutes in, he pulled over and cried.The children in the film all said the same thing: "I'm in here."Since then, he's read over 120 books written by non-speaking autistics and their parents. He's watched every video he could find. He wakes at 4am to research for three hours before his day starts. He's joined 20+ autism groups. He's created a free resource site called Presume Competence.And he has one message for parents: the method has a 100% success rate. No one has ever failed.In this conversation, Steven explains what he's learned — not from professionals, but from the people who've lived it. He talks about optical dyspraxia and why your child might not be able to catch a ball. He explains why screens flicker in ways neurotypical eyes don't notice. He describes the six sensory buckets that overflow into meltdowns. He shares why swimming pools regulate, why routines matter more than we realize, and why time perception might explain everything.He sat with Paddy Curran, a non-speaker from Birmingham, and had a full conversation through a letterboard. Letter by letter. And he nearly cries just talking about it.The spelling board is the world's cheapest education device. The entire internet is built from 26 letters. Your child already knows them. They just need a way to show you.Steven's goal: a spelling practitioner in every town in the UK. Free resources. No cost to learn. Because if your child can point to a letter, they can say anything.This is what presumed competence looks like.
We Had to Hand Our Son Over
24 Ara 202531 min
Luke has four children. Three of them are autistic. His youngest, Oscar, is non-verbal with PICA — he'll eat anything, including sand and his own faeces.For years, Luke and his wife managed. He gave up his job as an HGV driver because the phone calls from home couldn't wait two hours for him to get back from Hereford. His parents were their only support network — his dad had worked with disabled children his whole life.Then his dad died unexpectedly. And his mum said the words no one wants to hear: "I can't do it on my own anymore."Support workers came on weekends. Some were good. Others turned up 45 minutes late, by which point Oscar had stripped naked and was too dis-regulated to leave. One time, staff at a soft play centre had to tell the support workers that Oscar was naked — because they hadn't noticed.Eventually, Luke and his wife had to say the hardest thing a parent can say: we can't meet his needs anymore.They explored residential care. The council's response? They wanted to explore foster care first — because it was cheaper. No support systems. No respite for the foster family. Just school. Luke asked them directly: "Why do you think complete strangers are going to do a better job than we did for eight years?"They won. Oscar is now in a specialist residential setting with speech and language therapy, 24-hour support, and a chance at communication. Luke still has full parental responsibility. They see him every fortnight. They can bring him home whenever they want.But it doesn't sit right. It never will.Luke also shares the fight for his middle son's EHCP — tribunal, legal battles, a previous school that sent nothing but a date of birth when asked for evidence. That education costs £120,000 a year. Half a million pounds by the time he finishes secondary school.And he says something most parents won't say out loud: "I hate autism."Not everyone's autism. His autism. The one that means his family can't go to Christmas gatherings. The one that meant handing his son over. The one that doesn't fit the "superpower" narrative. This is what the system doesn't want you to see.
I Diagnosed Myself at 10
22 Ara 202514 min
At 10 years old, during lockdown, Charlotte watched a BBC series about autism. She saw herself in it. So she did what most adults wouldn't — she researched it, gathered the evidence, and presented it to her parents.They didn't believe her at first. She didn't fit the stereotype. She wasn't a boy obsessed with trains.She was put on the pathway. She waited 3 years. She went through half of secondary school undiagnosed, unsupported, and struggling.When the diagnosis finally came, it wasn't a surprise. She already knew. It was just clarity — recognition from the outside.But the years without support took their toll. Charlotte developed functional neurological disorder. She had seizures. She ended up in hospital. She left secondary education with no GCSEs.And that's when she started her Instagram account.From a hospital bed, she began sharing her story. She found community. She found purpose. She started speaking out — first online, then at youth parliament, then at Westminster.When Gaz and Andy met her at a rally outside Parliament, she was 16. It was her first ever public speech. She'd never even put her hand up in class before.Now she attends youth parliament every week, sits with councillors and decision-makers, and advocates for the changes she never had.Her mom watches from the sidelines, proud of the daughter who diagnosed herself and fought her own corner when no one else would.This is what's possible when someone finally listens.
My Autistic Daughter Wasn't Bad. She Was In Pain.
20 Ara 202538 min
On this episode, we're joined by Sean for our first ever live Christmas special recorded in front of our community.We talk about what Christmas actually looks like with autistic kids — the pressure to make it magical, the year we realised they didn't care about presents, and why one parent picks up McDonald's on Christmas Eve to reheat the next day.Sean shares the moment his girls stood up and delivered speaking parts in their school play after years of sitting in the corner with a tablet. We get into schools that actually meet kids where they are, the ones that don't, and a story about a boy who got cut from his nativity because he's autistic.Plus — the spitting mystery that had everyone stumped until someone checked her back teeth.
#23 | Window Scares, Cold Weather Battles and Christmas Reality
24 Kas 20251h 13m
This week we're talking about the stuff that keeps you up at night. Gaz shares the story of Thomas falling out of a window and the absolute terror of those few seconds. Andy talks about Lydia choking on a Remembrance Day pin and the chaos of trying to keep these kids safe when danger comes out of nowhere.We get into the freezing weather, the battle to get hats and gloves on kids who hate anything on their heads, and why play barns are basically combat zones for autistic kids trying to navigate neurotypical chaos.Christmas is coming and we're both in different places this year. Andy and Selena are going in with lower expectations and higher acceptance. Gaz is cautiously optimistic that Thomas might actually get what Christmas is this year after spelling Santa and reindeer on his iPad.We talk about teeth brushing struggles, Caesar salad obsessions, school routines that actually work, and why showing a countdown number out loud can ruin a morning. There's also a bit on helping other dads through messages, the importance of reading your kid's notes before appointments, and why some politicians need to shut up about ear defenders.Plus we're gearing up for the Christmas special at Henry Tudor House and marathon training starts soon. If you've been through any of this, you'll recognize every word.
#22 | “Strong Dads, Scary Thoughts & Small Wins”
9 Kas 20251h 32m
Gaz and Andy sit down for one of the most open chats they’ve ever had. It’s been a long few weeks, and with Christmas creeping up, the lads talk about the heavy stuff that comes when things finally go quiet — the late-night fears about the future, the weight of responsibility, and that nagging thought every SEND parent has but never says out loud: what happens when we’re gone?They dive into what it really means to be “strong” as an autism dad — not in the gym sense (though that comes up), but mentally and emotionally. How patience has replaced pride, how autism strips away ego, and how much you change when your world revolves around a child who needs you in ways you can’t explain to anyone else.There’s reflection on how far their kids have come, what progress actually looks like, and why the little moments — eye contact, a word, a shared laugh — feel bigger than any milestone the world measures.They also talk about physical health, mental fatigue, and the quiet importance of keeping your body strong enough to handle what’s ahead. Because being a SEND parent isn’t a sprint — it’s a marathon you didn’t sign up for, and you can’t afford to sit it out.Heavy, hopeful, and funny in all the right places. Exactly what Dadcast does best.#AutismDadcast #AutismAwareness #SENDParenting #AutismParents #AutismDads #Neurodiversity #AutismAcceptance #SpecialNeedsParenting #AutismCommunity #AutismJourney #MentalHealth #FuturePlanning #Resilience #DadLife #ParentingPodcast
#21 | “SEND Sessions, Bruises & Building Something Better”
1 Kas 202556 min
It’s been a few weeks, but Gaz and Andy are back — catching up on life, work, and the chaos of raising autistic kids through the madness of Q4.Andy shares a massive update on Lydia’s first term at her new specialist school — the highs, the progress, and the tough bit where safeguarding got real. From the shock of being asked about a bruise to understanding how vital those systems actually are, the lads unpack what every SEND parent eventually learns the hard way.Then it’s on to a “SEND-friendly” soft play that went completely off the rails — a supposed quiet session that turned into total chaos. They talk honestly about how these things should work, the frustration of token “inclusive” marketing, and how one bad experience sparked an idea: a not-for-profit, parent-run SEND centre in Shropshire where every family actually feels understood.Plus, Thomas’s new AAC device, the “Grid” app, and how tech is transforming communication for non-verbal kids. It’s funny, raw, emotional — classic Dadcast.#AutismDadcast #AutismAwareness #SENDParenting #AutismParents #Neurodiversity #SpecialNeedsParenting #AutismAcceptance #AutismJourney #NonVerbalAutism #ParentingPodcast #AutismCommunity #AutismDads #Safeguarding #SENDSupport #Shropshire

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