A simple tool for better communication during toxic conflict | Amanda Ripley

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“We can have that fight for a 1,000 years, but we could have a shot at figuring out what we both need and noticing when there's opportunities to make that happen.” Subscribe to Big Think on YouTube ► https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCvQECJukTDE2i6aCoMnS-Vg?sub_confirmation=1 Up next, Conflict, crisis, consumption: What’s eating our nation? Amanda Ripley: Full Interview ► https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EE_MEu7xn8Y Conflict can be constructive, inspiring learning, growth, and vulnerability when well-managed. But when it spirals into what Amanda Ripley calls high conflict, it becomes corrosive. Instead of solving problems, high conflict traps us in a cycle where arguments feed on themselves, eroding trust and entire relationships. So, why are we so susceptible to it? Ripley explains, sharing our psychological tripwires and how to avoid them. 0:00 The paradox of high conflict 0:30 Breaking the cycle 2:50 How to get to the understory 5:00 High conflict is a tar pit 6:30 The idiot driver reflex (why we don’t give people benefit of the doubt) 7:50 Fear leads to a desire for simplicity 8:20 The saturation point 10:50 Good, healthy conflict 11:15 Looping (how to prove you are listening) 14:00 The most common understories 17:30 Practice under stress 20:00 How to keep conflict healthy 21:00 The magic ratio of positive interactions to conflict 21:55 Who high conflict benefits 22:55 There’s no winning a marriage Read the video transcript ► https://bigthink.com/series/the-big-think-interview/high-conflict-ripley/?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=video&utm_campaign=youtube_description ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Go Deeper with Big Think: ►Become a Big Think Member Get exclusive content, early, ad-free access to new releases, and more. https://www.youtube.com/@bigthink/membership/ ►Subscribe to Big Think on Substack Explore content that enlightens, inspires, and transforms. https://bigthinkmedia.substack.com/subscribe/ ►Get Big Think+ for Business Engage learners like never before with high-impact video microlearning from the biggest thinkers in the world. https://bigthink.com/plus/?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=video&utm_campaign=youtube_description ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------- About Amanda Ripley: Amanda Ripley is a New York Times bestselling author, Washington Post contributor, and co-founder of consultancy firm, Good Conflict. Her books include The Smartest Kids in the World, High Conflict, and The Unthinkable.