858 Parents Told Us The Fear They Never Say Out Loud

About this episode

<p>Andy put a post up asking autism parents to name the one fear they have never said out loud. 858 people answered, and 103 of them said almost exactly the same thing.<br>So we sat down and read them. Not the tidy ones, the ones people only admit when nobody can see their name next to it. Mourning the child you thought you were getting. Envying families who can wake up and just go somewhere. Feeling like you are managing your child rather than enjoying them. Wondering, honestly, what your life would look like if this had gone differently.<br>And underneath nearly all of them, the same question that every one of us circles back to at three in the morning: what happens to them after I am gone.<br>If you have ever had a thought you were ashamed of, this episode is 858 people telling you that you are not the only one who has had it.<br>Timestamps<br>00:00 Cold open<br>00:13 Intro<br>00:39 The Indi app and a summer of tracking<br>02:25 The post that got 858 replies<br>03:33 The child you thought you were getting<br>07:12 Watching other families do the ordinary<br>12:38 &quot;It&#39;s not a superpower, and I&#39;m tired of pretending&quot;<br>16:00 Neuro spicy, and who gets to pick the words<br>23:11 Managing, not living<br>26:33 What it costs the other children<br>30:52 The fear nobody says out loud<br>32:47 What happens when I die<br>42:42 Studio news, guests, and the fantasy league<br>47:13 Why we now support a Serie B team in Italy<br>Gaz and Andy are two dads raising autistic children, talking about the bits nobody else says out loud.<br>Link tree in bio.</p>