Chris Voss: #1 Secret Formula FBI Negotiators Use To Always Get What They Want & 4 Ways to Apply These Tactics to Your Life

About this episode

What's a simple negotiation trick you can try today? How can you get better at persuading others? Today, Jay welcomes former FBI lead international kidnapping negotiator and author of "Never Split the Difference", Chris Voss. He is renowned for his innovative negotiation strategies that emphasize empathy, emotional intelligence, and tactical communication. After retiring from the FBI, Voss founded The Black Swan Group, a negotiation, training, coaching, and consulting organization that teaches people how to achieve better outcomes in high-stakes conversations. Chris discusses his journey from being on a SWAT team to becoming a lead FBI negotiator. He shares that his career path changed after a knee injury and his growing interest in crisis response led him to hostage negotiation where he found the work more satisfying than his previous roles, emphasizing the importance of decisive action in crises. Chris and Jay discuss how human beings are naturally wired to be negative as a survival mechanism, which impacts negotiations. He reframes negotiation as a collaborative process rather than a confrontational one and suggests that effective negotiation often goes unnoticed because it looks like seamless collaboration. They also talk about gender dynamics in negotiation, with Voss providing advice on how women can better negotiate in environments where they might be undervalued.   In this interview, you'll learn: How to calm tense talks How to negotiate with narcissists How to disarm aggression How to foster collaboration How to build rapport In any situation, effective negotiation is not about winning at all costs but about creating a shared path forward that benefits everyone involved.  With Love and Gratitude, Jay Shetty What We Discuss: 00:00 Intro 01:23 Becoming a Lead Negotiator 04:08 Suicide Hotline Conversations 08:03 Labeling the Negative Emotions 09:35 Negotiation Isn’t a Form of Conflict 14:59 How to Get Someone to Collaborate with You? 21:15 How Do You Slow Down? 25:10 How Do You Prepare for a Negotiation? 29:54 Biggest Negotiation Mistakes 31:42 Always Look for the Patterns 40:20 Used and Taken Advantage Of 44:21 The Illusion of Control 46:17 What’s Your Intention? 48:37 How to Negotiate a Better Salary? 50:49 Reward Strategy in the Workplace 53:33 Negotiating Unfulfilled Salary Raise  58:57 How Can Women Negotiate Better? 01:00:57 Negotiations That Don’t End with a Deal 01:05:03 Work with the ELFs 01:11:05 Polite Boundary Setting 01:16:29 How to Not Be Emotional When Negotiating 01:22:08 Are You in the Right Relationship? 01:25:55 Respecting Other People’s Values 01:30:52 Tactical Empathy Documentary 01:34:01 Chris on Final Five Episode Resources: Chris Voss | Website Chris Voss | Instagram Chris Voss | LinkedIn Never Split the Difference: Negotiating As If Your Life Depended On It See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices