Couples Therapist: Why Your Brain Turns Your Partner Into An Enemy - Stan Tatkin -#1146

About this episode

Dr Stan Tatkin is a psychologist, couples therapist, researcher and author. How can couples effectively navigate and repair emotional wounds? While many believe it’s best to sleep on a conflict, could repairing the rupture quickly actually be healthier? What other habits help a relationship not only survive conflict, but flourish? Expect to learn why romantic attachment relationships are neurochemically the hardest ones to navigate, if love is enough to maintain a relationship, what the most important agreements couples should make are, why it’s important to have the ability to repair disagreements quickly, why resentment tends to accumulate in relationships, if we learn to truly love ourselves even if no one else ever truly has and much more… Sponsors: See discounts for all the products I use and recommend: ⁠https://chriswillx.com/deals⁠ Sign up for a free trial from Shopify at https://shopify.com/modernwisdom Get up to 20% off Timeline’s leading longevity and cellular health supplement at https://timeline.com/modernwisdom Get up to $50 off the RP Hypertrophy App at https://rpstrength.com/modernwisdom Get 15% off your first order of my favourite Non-Alcoholic Brew at https://athleticbrewing.com/modernwisdom Get ChatGPT to explore ideas, solve problems, and learn faster at ⁠https://chatgpt.com Timestamps: (00:00) Are Great Relationships Design or Desire? (01:09) Why Are Relationships So Hard to Navigate? (03:09) Is Love Alone Enough to Make Relationships Last? (09:23) Why Relationship Practicalities Can Be Romantic (12:49) The Importance of Agreements (14:56) You Don’t Have to Just Prioritise Your Partner (16:29) How Memory Shapes Your Threat Response (27:39) Why Your Partner Can Suddenly Feel Like the Enemy (32:28) Don’t Let Bad Memories Ruin Your Future (41:50) The Impact of Distance on Rupture and Repair Conversations (47:12) Conflict or Incompatibility: How Can You Tell? (49:21) The “I Can’t Quit You” Biology (01:02:26) The Top Principles Behind Secure Relationships (01:07:28) Where to Find Stan Extra Stuff: See me live in the UK & Ireland this October: ⁠https://chriswilliamson.live/⁠ Get my free reading list of 100 books to read before you die: ⁠https://chriswillx.com/books⁠ Try my productivity energy drink Neutonic: ⁠https://neutonic.com/modernwisdom⁠ Episodes You Might Enjoy: #577 - David Goggins - This Is How To Master Your Life: ⁠lnkfi.re/SN-Goggins⁠ #712 - Dr Jordan Peterson - How To Destroy Your Negative Beliefs: ⁠lnkfi.re/SN-Peterson⁠ #700 - Dr Andrew Huberman - The Secret Tools To Hack Your Brain: ⁠lnkfi.re/SN-Huberman⁠ - Get In Touch: Instagram: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/chriswillx⁠ Twitter: ⁠https://www.twitter.com/chriswillx⁠ YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/modernwisdompodcast⁠ Email: ⁠https://chriswillx.com/contact⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices