Cynthia Erivo: ‘I Was Working To Prove That I Was Worth Loving’ (How to Finally Let Go of the Need For Approval & Build Real Self-Worth)

About this episode

Do you ever feel like you need others to approve of your choices? When was the last time you did something just for yourself? In this heartfelt episode of On Purpose, Jay Shetty sits down with award-winning actress and singer Cynthia Erivo for a raw and inspiring conversation. Cynthia opens up about her whirlwind year—filming back to back movies, performing at the Oscars, and pouring her soul into her deeply personal new album, I Forgive You. Even in the busiest seasons of her life, Cynthia is discovering the power of stillness—making space to rest, reset, and care for herself mentally, emotionally, and physically.  Cynthia opens up about the emotional weight she’s carried—the pain of feeling abandoned by her father and the relentless pressure to keep proving herself. She and Jay explore the exhausting chase for external approval—and how it often leads to burnout, disconnection, and a version of success that doesn’t feel like yours. Cynthia’s path has been one of unlearning—releasing fear-based patterns and learning to create from a place of wholeness. Her journey is one of deep self-reflection and healing, which shines through in her new music. Together, Jay and Cynthia unpack what it really means to own your truth, make peace with your past, and finally feel at home in the present. Cynthia’s stories of heartbreak, transformation, and creative rebirth offer powerful insights for anyone navigating change or searching for their purpose. This episode is rich with wisdom, warmth, and a reminder that healing and growth are always possible. In this episode, you'll learn: How to Build Daily Habits That Ground You Anywhere How to Embrace Rest Without Guilt How to Heal from the Need for External Validation How to Let Go of the Pressure to Overachieve How to Share Your True Self Without Fear How to Create from a Place of Love, Not Pain Whether you’re navigating heartbreak, chasing your dreams, or simply learning how to slow down, know this: you are allowed to evolve, to let go, and to begin again. With Love and Gratitude, Jay Shetty Join over 750,000 people to receive my most transformative wisdom directly in your inbox every single week with my free newsletter. Subscribe here.  What We Discuss: 00:00 Intro 02:39 Have You Had a Moment to Take a Break? 04:34 How Do You Take Care of Yourself? 06:12 Are You Good at Slowing Down? 08:25 Why Your Body Needs to Follow Rituals 12:00 Difference Between Achieving and Overachieving 13:34 What Drives You to be an Overachiever? 16:59 Using Childhood Trauma to Transform Your Life 18:31 The Three Modes to Help You Achieve Your Goals 20:17 Missteps are the Steps We're Meant to Take 23:56 Choose to Live for Yourself First 26:16 Have You Ever Felt Like You Don’t Fit In? 29:23 Focus on Sharing Positive Energy 32:29 The Frequency Illusion 33:44 Empower People to Own Their Confidence 37:50 Teaching Kids About Confidence and Self Love 39:40 How to Show Up as Yourself 45:24 Behind the Glamourous Life of Celebrities 47:55 The Power of Music 51:00 How Do You Share Your Emotional Journey? 55:23 How Do You Live Through Heartbreak? 01:00:26 Can You Peacefully Disconnect Yourself from Someone? 01:05:16 Sometimes, It's Not About You 01:07:35 What is the Right Type of Validation to Crave? 01:14:20 The Core of Being a Good Person 01:21:13 The Experience of Abandonment Isn't Always Your Reality  01:25:10 Which Emotion is the Hardest to Face? Episode Resources: Cynthia Erivo | Website Cynthia Erivo | Instagram  Cynthia Erivo | Facebook Cynthia Erivok | TikTok Cynthia Erivo | YouTube See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices