Dr. Gabor Maté: Constantly Worrying What People Think of You? (THIS Simple Shift Will Help You Trust Yourself and Stop Seeking Approval)

About this episode

In this special live conversation at the Orpheum Theatre in Vancouver, Canada, Jay sits down with renowned physician and trauma expert Dr. Gabor Maté for a deeply moving exploration of identity, healing, and the hidden patterns that shape our lives. Gabor explains that our obsession with how others perceive us often begins in childhood, when our fundamental need to be seen and understood isn’t fully met. In response, many people unconsciously adapt, hiding parts of themselves or becoming who they think others want them to be in order to feel accepted and loved. In this episode you'll Learn: How to Stop Living for Others’ Approval How to Break Generational Trauma Patterns How to Know If You’re Living Your True Life How to Stop Tying Your Worth to Productivity How to Recognize When Stress Is Hurting You How to Listen to Your Inner Voice Again How to Start Saying “No” Without Feeling Guilty How to Practice Self-Compassion Instead of Self-Criticism How to Turn Your Past Coping Patterns Into Healing How to Ask the Question That Changes Your Life Real change doesn’t come from forcing yourself to be perfect or trying to fix everything overnight. It begins with small moments of awareness, pausing long enough to listen to that quiet inner voice, asking honest questions about what feels true for you, and giving yourself permission to honor it.  With Love and Gratitude, Jay Shetty JAY’S DAILY WISDOM DELIVERED STRAIGHT TO YOUR INBOX Join 900,000+ readers discovering how small daily shifts create big life change with my free newsletter. Subscribe here: https://news.jayshetty.me/subscribe   Check out our Apple subscription to unlock bonus content of On Purpose! https://lnk.to/JayShettyPodcast  What We Discuss: 00:00 Intro 00:41 Why Do We Care So Much About Others’ Opinions? 03:10 Learning to Love People the Way They Need 04:53 How Childhood Shapes Our Need for Approval 06:46 The Dangerous Belief: “I’m Only Valuable If…” 11:02 Why Do We Feel Guilty When We Rest? 12:37 What Stress Is Really Doing to Your Brain and Body 16:19 Saying “No” Is Essential for Your Wellbeing  21:05 The Power of Asking Yourself Honest Questions 23:44 How to Listen to Your Gut Again 29:52 A Live Compassionate Inquiry Session 33:23 Your Healing Is Helping Your Children 35:08 Trusting the Wisdom Already Inside You 36:53 Your Coping Mechanisms Aren’t Failures 40:11 Turning Past Mistakes Into Lessons 41:45 Balancing Self-Improvement and Self-Acceptance 47:54 The Question That Can Change Your Life Episode Resources: Website | https://drgabormate.com/  YouTube | https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCsRF06lSFA8zV9L8_x9jzIA  Facebook | https://www.facebook.com/drgabormate  Instagram | https://www.instagram.com/gabormatemd/  X | https://x.com/drgabormate See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices