Esther Perel: The #1 Secret to Know if Your Chemistry Will Last & Why You’re Addicted to Your Ex

About this episode

Do you want to know the secret to know if your chemistry will last?  Are you wondering why you can't move on from your ex? If you have questions about love and relationships, this episode is for you. Psychotherapist and New York Times bestselling author Esther Perel is back. Esther is recognized as one of today’s most insightful and original voices on modern relationships. Esther’s TED Talks have garnered more than 40 million views and her bestselling books, Mating in Captivity and The State of Affairs, are global phenomena. Esther is also the host of the hit podcast Where Should We Begin? which is available on Apple Podcasts. If you've ever wondered when a relationship is worth saving or why we grieve after a breakup, Esther has incredible insights to share that you can apply to your own relationship. Let's discover the power of accountability in relationships and how it can trigger positive change. We discuss the art of turning conflict into connection. Also, we uncover the negative effects of losing curiosity and how it impacts our connections. The conversation also fearlessly tackles the topics of betrayal, lack of trust, and the intersection of relationships, technology, and mental health. Get ready for a fascinating exploration of the narratives that shape our relationships, the dynamics between rationalists and romantics, and what truly makes a real relationship. In this interview, you’ll learn: How to turn conflicts into genuine connection Why relationships often fail How to save your correct relationship What to do after a breakup How to boost trust and confidence in a relationship It is truly a thought-provoking and heartfelt journey into the essence of human connection. With Love and Gratitude, Jay Shetty Thank you to Soho Works 10 Jay in Dumbo for hosting us for this episode. What We Discuss: 00:00 Intro 02:12 When is a Relationship Worth Saving? 03:51 Why Do We Grieve After a Breakup? 05:14 Accountability in Relationships Can Trigger Change 10:00 How to Turn Conflict Into Connection  14:10 People Try to Overcome Fear by Gaining Control 17:14 The Negative Effects of the Loss of Curiosity 22:09 Blaming the Other Doesn’t Solve Anything 27:21 How to Make Your Partner Feel Important  29:10 Other Mediums to Express What You’re Unable to Say 36:01 Do New Things Together 38:08 There are Lingering Feelings that Stays Even After Breakup 41:53 We All Fear Betrayal and Lack of Trust 43:35 How to Value and Protect Your Relationship 50:50 The Real Story Before and After Betrayal 55:33 The Intersection of Relationships, Technology, and Mental Health 01:01:50 The False Relationship Narrative that Failed us 01:04:22 The Rationalists and the Romantics 01:06:23 What Makes for a Real Relationship? 01:10:04 Diversifying Long-Term Relationships 01:15:55 Your Partner’s Opinion Matters 01:21:11 The Real Definition of Self Confidence 01:24:59 We Are Drawn to People We Don’t Want to Become 01:28:03 Where Should We Begin A Game of Stories with Esther Perel Episode Resources: Esther Perel | Website Esther Perel | Twitter Esther Perel | Instagram Esther Perel | YouTube Esther Perel | Facebook Esther Perel | Books Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices