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Sex for Normal People with Ita O'Brien

Sex for Normal People with Ita O'Brien

The Imperfects
26 jul 2026 1h 2m
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<p>Sex is sometimes a taboo topic. Not today! Intimacy expert Ita O&rsquo;Brien tells us all about the new normal in the bedroom, and how she&rsquo;s introduced it to Hollywood.</p> <p>💌Join 9,000+ people getting our takeaways and favourite moments from this episode in our weekly newsletter -&nbsp;<a href="http://bit.ly/45NyQDy">http://bit.ly/45NyQDy</a></p> <p>In 2017, Ita O&rsquo;Brien changed how Hollywood approached sex scenes when she pioneered intimacy co-ordination on the hit Netflix show, Sex Education, by introducing the framework, &ldquo;Intimacy On Set Guidelines&rdquo;. She went on to on productions for Netflix, BBC, HBO, Hulu, Amazon, including Sex Education and Normal People, founding her own company Intimacy on Set.</p> <p>And now she&rsquo;s here.</p> <p>Ita chats with the guys about what sex scenes were like before Intimacy Co-ordination, and all the lies movies taught us about sex. She explains the mysterious orgasm gap, why consent is the foundation of all intimacy, and maybe most importantly of all&hellip; the male and female anatomy of arousal! That bit&rsquo;s at the 16min mark if you&rsquo;re really in a hurry. 😉<br><br>00:00 &ndash; Meet Ita O'Brien, the World's First Intimacy Coordinator <br>01:32 &ndash; Inside Her Work on Normal People, I May Destroy You &amp; Sex Education <br>04:17 &ndash; What Intimacy Actually Means (It's Not Just Sex) <br>07:34 &ndash; The Untold Story of the First-Ever Intimacy Coordinator Job <br>09:35 &ndash; What Sex Scenes Were Like Before Consent Guidelines Existed <br>12:27 &ndash; Why On-Screen Intimacy Shapes How We See Ourselves <br>14:33 &ndash; The Hidden Lie Movies Taught Us About Sex <br>16:00 &ndash; The Male Anatomy of Arousal, Explained <br>18:33 &ndash; The Female Anatomy of Arousal, Explained <br>23:17 &ndash; Why Desire Fades in Long-Term Relationships <br>25:59 &ndash; The Power of Touch (and Why We're Losing It) <br>30:39 &ndash; How Screens Are Rewiring Kids' Ability to Connect <br>34:08 &ndash; The Truth About the Orgasm Gap <br>40:30 &ndash; Why Consent Is the Foundation of All Intimacy <br>43:10 &ndash; Filming the Iconic Birth Scene in We Live in Time <br>49:52 &ndash; How to Talk to Kids About Consent and Bodies <br>52:24 &ndash; "Consent Is Sexy": A Call to Writers and Filmmakers <br>54:33 &ndash; Sex, Menopause and Intimacy at Every Life Stage</p> <p>📖Things to read</p> <p><strong>Intimacy: A Field Guide to Finding Connection and Feeling Your Deep Desires</strong> by Ita O&rsquo;Brien - https://www.penguin.com.au/books/intimacy-9781529954043</p> <p>📺 Things to watch</p> <p><strong>Sex Education</strong> (Netflix) - <a href="https://www.netflix.com/title/80197526">https://www.netflix.com/title/80197526</a><br><strong>Normal People</strong> (BBC/Hulu) - <a href="https://www.hulu.com/series/normal-people">https://www.hulu.com/series/normal-people</a><br><strong>I May Destroy You</strong> (BBC/HBO) - <a href="https://www.hbo.com/i-may-destroy-you">https://www.hbo.com/i-may-destroy-you</a><br><strong>Catastrophe</strong> - <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Catastrophe-Season-1/dp/B00YGB8UYK">https://www.amazon.com/Catastrophe-Season-1/dp/B00YGB8UYK</a><br><strong>We Live in Time</strong> (Film4/A24) - <a href="https://www.a24films.com/films/we-live-in-time">https://www.a24films.com/films/we-live-in-time</a></p> <p>🫖Imperfects episodes mentioned on this episode</p> <p><strong>Esther Perel &mdash; Let's Be Better Lovers -</strong> <a href="https://open.spotify.com/episode/1BantQso5Ef3xPn4PWNG2I">https://open.spotify.com/episode/1BantQso5Ef3xPn4PWNG2I</a></p> <p>🩷To host your own Vulnerabilitea House, purchase here -&nbsp;<a href="http://bit.ly/4lyuuWz">http://bit.ly/4lyuuWz</a></p> <p>🩵To purchase our journal (or your novel)&nbsp;<em>My Imperfect Life,</em>&nbsp;click here -&nbsp;<a href="http://bit.ly/4lyuuWz"></a><a href="http://bit.ly/4lyuuW">http://bit.ly/4lyuuW</a></p> <p>🩵To join our subscriber community, <em>A Little More Imperfects,</em> follow this link - <a href="http://bit.ly/4mqunxu">http://bit.ly/4mqunxu</a></p> <p>🩷 AND you can subscribe to <em>A Little More Imperfects</em> through Apple Podcast <a href="http://apple.co/theimperfects">http://apple.co/theimperfects</a></p> <p>The Imperfects is not a licensed mental health service and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice, treatment or assessment. The advice given in this episode is general in nature, but if you&rsquo;re struggling, please see a healthcare professional, or call lifeline on 13 11 14.</p> <p>&nbsp;</p><p>See <a href="https://omnystudio.com/listener">omnystudio.com/listener</a> for privacy information.</p>

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