10% Happier with Dan Harris

A Masterclass in Handling Yourself When Things Suck | Tsoknyi Rinpoche and Daniel Goleman

<p>This episode is for anyone who has ever had a tough or tricky moment. In other words, everyone who is currently drawing breath on planet earth right now.</p> <p><br /></p> <p>Today's guests are powerhouse duo Tsoknyi Rinpoche and Daniel Goleman.</p> <p>Tsoknyi Rinpoche is one of the greatest living Tibetan masters who has a whole toolbox of techniques for dealing with difficult moments, habitual patterns, and common meditation obstacles. He'll be in conversation with Daniel Goleman, a trained scientist and science writer best known for his landmark book, <a href= "https://www.amazon.com/Emotional-Intelligence-Matter-More-Than/dp/055338371X" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank"><em>Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ</em></a>. Together, they have just written a book called <a href= "https://www.simonandschuster.com/books/Why-We-Meditate/Daniel-Goleman/9781982178451" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank"><em>Why We Meditate: The Science and Practice of Clarity and Compassion</em></a>. </p> <p><br /></p> <p>This is the fourth and final installment of our series called, <em>The Art and Science of Keeping Your Sh*t Together</em>. In each episode we bring together a meditative adept or Buddhist scholar and a respected scientist. The idea is to give you the best of both worlds to arm you with both modern and ancient tools for regulating your emotions.</p> <p><br /></p> <p><strong>In this episode we talk about:</strong></p> <ul> <li>The single word that Rinpoche believes captures the most challenging aspect of modern life</li> <li>Two of the biggest obstacles for meditators</li> <li>What Rinpoche calls the "drop it" practice</li> <li>Rinpoche's term, "beautiful monsters"</li> <li>The four steps of the "handshake" practice, which is meant for meeting difficult emotions and being OK with them</li> <li>Why reasoning with your feelings doesn't work</li> <li>How to experience a fundamental OK-ness independent of external conditions</li> <li>A personal story from Rinpoche about being with one of his own difficult habits</li> <li>What Rinpoche calls the "three speed limits"</li> <li>And, "belly breathing"</li> </ul> <p><br /></p> <p><br /></p> <p><strong>Full Shownotes:</strong> <a href= "https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/tsoknyi-rinpoche-daniel-goleman-523" rel="noopener noreferrer" target= "_blank">https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/tsoknyi-rinpoche-daniel-goleman-523</a></p>

What Science and Buddhism Say About How to Regulate Your Own Nervous System | Deb Dana &amp; Kaira Jewel Lingo

<p>Is it possible to learn to spot which state your nervous system is in and move from suboptimal states to much better ones? The subject of how to work with your own nervous system is called Polyvagal Theory and today's guests Deb Dana & Kaira Jewel Lingo will give us a primer on what that exactly means. They will also talk about how our nervous systems are connected to the nervous systems of other people, and how we can learn to co-regulate our systems for the betterment of others. </p> <p><br /></p> <p>Deb Dana is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, who is a clinician, consultant and author specializing in complex trauma.  Her work is focused on using the lens of Polyvagal Theory to understand and resolve the impact of trauma, and creating ways of working that honor the role of the autonomic nervous system. She has written several books, including <a href= "http://capitalizemytitle.com/style/APA/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank"><em>Anchored: How to Befriend Your Nervous System Using Polyvagal Theory</em></a><em>. </em></p> <p> </p> <p>Kaira Jewel Lingo is a Dharma teacher with a lifelong interest in spirituality and social justice. After living as an ordained nun for 15 years in <a href="https://plumvillage.org/thich-nhat-hanh/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">Thich Nhat Hanh's</a> monastic community, Kaira Jewel now teaches internationally in the Zen lineage and the Vipassana tradition, as well as in secular mindfulness, with a focus on activists, Black, Indigenous, and People of Color, artists, educators, families, and youth. She is author of <a href= "https://www.parallax.org/product/we-were-made-for-these-times/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank"><em>We Were Made for These Times: Ten Lessons for Moving Through Change, Loss, and Disruption</em></a>. </p> <p> </p> <p>This is the third installment of our series called, <em>The Art and Science of Keeping Your Sh*t Together</em>. In each episode we bring together a meditative adept or Buddhist scholar and a respected scientist. The idea is to give you the best of both worlds to arm you with both modern and ancient tools for regulating your emotions.</p> <p><br /></p> <p><strong>In this episode we talk about:</strong></p> <ul> <li>The basics of Polyvagal Theory</li> <li>A fascinating and easily graspable concept from Buddhist psychology called, "store consciousness"</li> <li>The interconnectedness of our nervous systems and the responsibility that creates for all of us</li> <li>How to handle being annoyed</li> <li>What happens when we beat ourselves up with "shoulds," and how to stop doing that</li> <li>The value of simply knowing, in the moments when you're stuck, that those moments are impermanent</li> <li>How to allow your suffering to inform your life</li> <li>The value of "micro-moments"</li> <li>Two ways of caring for painful states without suppressing them</li> <li>And the power of action and service in overcoming anxiety</li> </ul> <p><br /></p> <p><br /></p> <p><strong>Full Shownotes:</strong> <a href= "http://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/deb-dana-kaira-jewel-lingo-522" rel="noopener noreferrer" target= "_blank">www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/deb-dana-kaira-jewel-lingo-522</a></p>

Can You Really Trust Your Feelings? | Lisa Feldman Barrett &amp; John Dunne

<p>A common idea in the west is that our feelings or emotions should be viewed with suspicion, superseded or overridden by rational thought, and that your mind is a battleground between emotions and rationality. But on the show today, guests Lisa Feldman Barrett and John Dunne are going to offer a very compelling science backed argument that disputes the notion that thinking and feeling are distinct. Furthermore, they argue that understanding how emotions are actually made can be a life or death matter. </p> <p><br /></p> <p>Lisa Feldman Barrett is a University Distinguished Professor of Psychology at Northeastern University with appointments at the Massachusetts General Hospital and Harvard Medical School. Dr. Barrett is among the top 1% most-cited scientists, having published over 270 peer-reviewed scientific papers.  She has written several books, including <a href= "https://www.panmacmillan.com/authors/lisa-feldman-barrett/how-emotions-are-made" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank"><em>How Emotions Are Made: The Secret Life of the Brain</em></a>, and <a href= "https://lisafeldmanbarrett.com/books/seven-and-a-half-lessons-about-the-brain/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">Seven And A Half Lessons About The Brain</a>. Her <a href= "https://www.ted.com/talks/lisa_feldman_barrett_you_aren_t_at_the_mercy_of_your_emotions_your_brain_creates_them?language=en" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">TED talk</a> has been viewed more than 6.5 million times.</p> <p><br /></p> <p>John Dunne holds the Distinguished Chair in Contemplative Humanities at the Center for Healthy Minds of the University of Wisconsin-Madison. His work focuses on Buddhist philosophy and contemplative practice, especially in dialog with Cognitive Science and Psychology. He earned his PhD from Harvard. </p> <p><br /></p> <p>This is part two in a series we're calling <em>The Art and Science of Keeping Your Sh*t Together</em>. In each episode we bring together a meditative adept or Buddhist scholar and a respected scientist. The idea is to give you the best of both worlds to arm you with both modern and ancient tools for regulating your emotions. </p> <p><br /></p> <p><strong>In this episode we talk about:</strong></p> <ul> <li>Lisa's scientific definition of emotions</li> <li>John's Buddhist contention that emotions, as a category, do not exist in Buddhism </li> <li>The difference between suffering and discomfort</li> <li>What we can do to master our emotions including understanding what Lisa terms as our "body budget" </li> <li>Becoming more emotionally intelligent</li> <li>Mastering our feelings in the moment</li> <li>Whether or not pain is an emotion and how it works</li> <li>How and why to be present in the here and now</li> <li>The upside of unpleasant feelings</li> </ul> <p><br /></p> <p><br /></p> <p><strong>Full Shownotes:</strong> <a href= "https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/lisa-feldman-barrett-john-dunne-520" rel="noopener noreferrer" target= "_blank">https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/lisa-feldman-barrett-john-dunne-520</a></p>

The Art and Science of Keeping Your Sh*t Together | Shinzen Young and James Gross

<p>In western culture, there's been a long held view that our ability to reason should be placed above our emotions. But the hard truth is that our emotions are there and they're non-negotiable— and If you don't know how to work with them, they can own you.</p> <p>The good news is that you can work with them and that there are many systems for doing so. To boot, you can learn a ton by listening to your emotions in the right ways. </p> <p>Today's guests, Shinzen Young and James Gross will help us understand how to work with our emotions and offer both techniques in modern science and ancient wisdom in order to do so. </p> <p>Gross is the Ernest R. Hilgard Professor of Psychology at Stanford University, where he directs the <a href= "https://spl.stanford.edu/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target= "_blank">Stanford Psychophysiology Laboratory</a>. Young is an American mindfulness teacher and neuroscience research consultant. He teaches something called <a href= "https://unifiedmindfulness.com/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target= "_blank">Unified Mindfulness,</a> which you will hear him describe in this conversation.</p> <p>This is part one in a series we're calling <em>The Art and Science of Keeping Your Sh*t Together</em>. In each episode we bring together a meditative adept or Buddhist scholar and a respected scientist. The idea is to give you the best of both worlds to arm you with both modern and ancient tools for regulating your emotions. </p> <p><br /></p> <p><strong>In this episode we talk about:</strong></p> <ul> <li>James's "modal model" for understanding what emotions are and how they work</li> <li>James's five different types of strategies you can use for regulating your emotions</li> <li>Shinzen's contention that emotions have two sides to them</li> <li>How we can experience emotions with more fulfillment and less suffering via a mindfulness training he calls "focus factors"</li> <li>James's "process model of emotion regulation" </li> <li>What James believes are the elements that unite science and Buddhism</li> <li>Shinzen's contention that anyone can experience massive benefits of mindfulness training if their meditation practice has four key components</li> </ul> <p><br /></p> <p><br /></p> <p><strong>Full Shownotes:</strong> <a href= "https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/shinzen-young-james-gross-519" rel="noopener noreferrer" target= "_blank">https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/shinzen-young-james-gross-519</a></p> <p><br /></p>

This Thanksgiving, How to Make Gratitude More Than a Platitude | DaRa Williams

<p><em>New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with early access for Wondery+ subscribers.</em></p> <p>---</p> <p>Can gratitude be more than just a platitude? Our guest today argues: yes. </p> <p><br /></p> <p>DaRa Williams is a longtime practitioner and teacher of meditation. She is one of the guiding teachers at Insight Meditation Society, a graduate of the Spirit Rock Insight Meditation Society Teacher Training Program, and also has a clinical mental health private practice in Manhattan. DaRa also says, only semi-facetiously, that she believes gratitude can be considered the fifth Brahma Vihara. </p> <p><br /></p> <p>In this conversation we talk about:</p> <ul> <li>How to start knitting gratitude into your everyday life</li> <li>Whether gratitude is possible when everything sucks</li> <li>How to avoid spiritual bypass</li> <li>The opportunity that suffering brings for happiness</li> <li>How to take our suffering less personally</li> <li>The power of reminding yourself that you are nature</li> <li>And our unconscious fascination with creating difficulty</li> </ul> <p><br /></p> <p><br /></p> <p><strong>Full Shownotes:</strong> <a href= "https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/dara-williams-295-rerun" rel="noopener noreferrer" target= "_blank">https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/dara-williams-295-rerun</a></p>

The Science of Motivation | Ayelet Fishbach

<p><em>New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers.</em></p> <p><em>---</em></p> <p><br /></p> <p>There are all sorts of ways to struggle with getting things done. Maybe you're a procrastinator, maybe you're somebody whose energy flags in the middle of a project, maybe you're too stubborn and don't know when to quit, or maybe you're somebody who sets too many goals and gets burned out. Whatever your situation, we all struggle with motivation. The good news is that there's a whole crew of scientists who study best practices for getting things done, including today's guest, Ayelet Fishbach, PhD.</p> <p><br /></p> <p>Fishbach is one of the most eminent players in the field. She is the Jeffrey Breakenridge Keller Professor of Behavioral Science and Marketing at the University of Chicago, Booth School of Business. She is also the author of <a href= "https://www.ayeletfishbach.com/book" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank"><em>Get It Done: Surprising Lessons from the Science of Motivation</em></a>. </p> <p><br /></p> <p><strong>In this episode we talk about:</strong></p> <ul> <li>The crucial first step of setting goals</li> <li>How to pick the right goals for you</li> <li>Whether it's more effective to have a goal that is positive – where you're aiming to achieve something specific – or negative – where you're aiming to stop doing something</li> <li>Whether to-do lists work</li> <li>Whether incentives work</li> <li>Best practices for monitoring your progress</li> <li>The importance of celebrating milestones </li> <li>The importance of negative feedback</li> <li>Why the 10,000 steps per day goal makes motivational sense even though it's been proven to be scientifically arbitrary </li> <li>And how to know when to let go of a goal</li> </ul> <p><br /></p> <p><br /></p> <p><strong>Full Shownotes:</strong> <a href= "http://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/ayelet-fishbach-525" rel="noopener noreferrer" target= "_blank">www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/ayelet-fishbach-525</a></p>

Love In War | Esther Perel

<p><em>New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers.</em></p> <p><em>---</em></p> <p>We're sharing a very special episode from a frequent guest of the show, Esther Perel. In this episode, "Love in War with Esther Perel: Ukraine," you'll hear a couples session led by Esther, between a husband and wife whose family has been torn apart by the war in Ukraine. Through the lens of relationship, you experience both the horrors of war and the relatability of intimate relationships.</p> <p>Esther Perel is a psychotherapist and <em>New York Times</em> bestselling author of many books, including <a href= "https://www.amazon.com/Mating-Captivity-Unlocking-Erotic-Intelligence/dp/0060753641" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank"><em>Mating In Captivity</em></a>. She's also the host of the podcasts <em>Where Should We Begin?</em> and <em>How's Work?.</em> </p> <p><br /></p>

Robin Roberts on the Skill of Optimism

<p><em>New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers.</em></p> <p><em>---</em></p> <p><br /></p> <p>It is so easy to be pessimistic and, in fact, we are evolutionarily wired towards it with a built in negativity bias. This bias can be super useful, because it keeps us on guard for threats. But like all biases, it can warp the way we see the world. This is why optimism can be incredibly helpful. We're not talking about blind optimism here but more about grounded, realistic and reasonable optimism. </p> <p><br /></p> <p>Our guest today, Robin Roberts, has come by this skill the hard way. Not only is she one of the boldest of the boldface names in the news business, where she is forced to confront crime, war, and natural disasters on the regular, but she's also come through two very serious bouts of cancer.</p> <p><br /></p> <p>Roberts is the longtime co-anchor of <a href= "https://www.goodmorningamerica.com/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">Good Morning America</a>. She has a new book called, <a href="https://www.rocknrobin.tv/brighter-by-the-day" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank"><em>Brighter by the Day: Waking Up to New Hopes and Dreams</em></a> in which she talks about how she has honed her optimism chops, and how you can, too. </p> <p><br /></p> <p><strong>In this episode we talk about:</strong></p> <ul> <li>How to strengthen your optimism muscle</li> <li>Making "one day, day one"</li> <li>Operationalizing your goals</li> <li>Robin's meditation practice</li> <li>Napping during meditation</li> <li>How she gets enough sleep given her crazy schedule</li> <li>Envisioning the victory </li> <li>Flipping the script so that instead of thinking "what could go wrong?" we think, "what could go right?" </li> </ul> <p><br /></p> <p><br /></p> <p><strong>Full Shownotes:</strong> <a href= "http://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/robin-roberts-516" rel= "noopener noreferrer" target= "_blank">www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/robin-roberts-516</a></p> <p><br /></p>

The Science of Making and Keeping Friends | Robin Dunbar

<p><em>New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers.</em></p> <p>---</p> <p>Friendship might not necessarily be something you've considered to be an urgent psychological and physiological issue. One thing we explore a lot on the show is that the quality of your relationships determines the quality of your life, and sadly, in many ways, it's harder than ever to make and keep friends. With loneliness and disconnection on the rise, our society just wasn't constructed for social connection, and recent data suggests we're in a friendship crisis, with many of us reporting that we have fewer close friendships than ever.</p> <p><br /></p> <p>Our guest today is Robin Dunbar, an Emeritus Professor of Evolutionary Psychology at Oxford University and the author of numerous books on the development of homo sapiens. Dunbar is perhaps best known for formulating "Dunbar's number," which is a measurement of the number of relationships our brain is capable of maintaining at any one time. He is a world-renowned expert on human relationships, and has a ton of fascinating research findings and practical tips for upping your friendship game.</p> <p><br /></p> <p>In this conversation, we dive into the science behind human relationships, the upsides and downsides of maintaining friendships on social media, the viability of friendships across gender lines, and what science says you can do to compensate if you feel you are currently lacking in close friendships. </p> <p><br /></p> <p><br /></p> <p><strong>Full Shownotes:</strong> <a href= "https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/robin-dunbar-372-rerun" rel="noopener noreferrer" target= "_blank">https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/robin-dunbar-372-rerun</a></p>

Six Buddhist Strategies for Getting Along Better with Everyone | Sister True Dedication

<p><em>New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers.</em></p> <p>---</p> <p>Relationships can be tricky. Especially if you find yourself upset with someone, and instead of talking it through, you let it fester until one moment you completely lose it and end up having to apologize. If you've ever felt like you had friction with the people in your life, or that you've been taken for granted, today's episode offers you solid strategies to cope. </p> <p><br /></p> <p>Sister True Dedication is a Zen Buddhist nun and teacher ordained by the great meditation teacher and author, Thich Nhat Hanh. She edited several of Thich Nhat Hanh's books, including <em>The Art of Living</em> and <em>Zen and the Art of Saving the Planet</em>. She was born in the United Kingdom, studied history and political thought at Cambridge University, and worked for BBC News before ordaining as a nun at the age of 27.</p> <p><br /></p> <p>In this episode we talk about: </p> <ul> <li>The six phrases – or mantras – that Thich Nhat Hanh recommended people use in their relationships</li> <li>Keeping misunderstandings "dust free"</li> <li>Taking action to make sure anger doesn't fester</li> <li>The importance of recognizing that our understanding of the world is always partial</li> <li>Bringing mantras to work</li> <li>How Sister True Dedication went from journalism to the monastery</li> </ul> <p><br /></p> <p><strong>Full Shownotes:</strong> <a href= "https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/sister-true-dedication-514" rel="noopener noreferrer" target= "_blank">https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/sister-true-dedication-514</a></p>

If You've Ever Doubted Whether Meditation Works, Listen to This Story | Ali Smith, Atman Smith, and Andres Gonzalez

<p><em>New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers.</em></p> <p><em>---</em></p> <p>You may remember hearing a massively viral story from a few years ago about a school in Baltimore that gave students meditation, instead of detention. </p> <p><br /></p> <p>Ali Smith, Atman Smith, and Andres Gonzalez founded the Holistic Life Foundation and are the authors of Let Your Light Shine, which recounts the story of their work helping traumatized children in one of America's most underserved cities, and how mindfulness tools can help children and communities not only survive, but thrive. </p> <p><br /></p> <p>In this episode we talk about: </p> <ul> <li>The story behind their meditation-instead-of-detention initiative</li> <li>Their experience asking principals to give them the most challenging students</li> <li>What it's like working in one of the most violent cities in the world</li> <li>The results from teaching students yoga and meditation</li> <li>How we can apply the lessons they've learned to meditation and life</li> </ul> <p><br /></p> <p><em>Content Warning: Explicit language. For a clean version of this episode, please listen on the Ten Percent Happier app or at tenpercent.com</em></p> <p><br /></p> <p>Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/ali-smith-atman-smith-andres-gonzalez-513</p>

George Saunders on: "Holy Befuddlement" and How to Be Less of a "Turd"

<p><em>New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers.</em></p> <p><em>---</em></p> <p>One of the great perils and problems of our age is that we sometimes become too entrenched in our views and attached to being right. </p> <p><br /></p> <p>According to guest George Saunders, the antidote is something he calls "holy befuddlement." </p> <p><br /></p> <p>George Saunders is the author of eleven books, including <em>Lincoln in the Bardo</em>, which won the 2017 Man Booker Prize for best work of fiction in English. His most recent book, <em>Liberation Day</em>, is a collection of short stories that explore the ideas of power, ethics, and justice, cutting to the heart of what it means to live in community with our fellow humans. </p> <p><br /></p> <p><strong>In this episode we talk about:</strong></p> <p><br /></p> <ul> <li>How George Saunders creates "holy befuddlement" in himself and in his readers</li> <li>How shaving down dogmatism can help us be, in his words, less of a "turd"</li> <li>How to deal with heightened expectations we might have of ourselves</li> <li>Healthy ways to enjoy praise</li> <li>What it looks like to cultivate a relationship with our self, to the extent that the self exists</li> <li>The importance of moral ambiguity in his work</li> <li>The impact of meditating – or not meditating – on our creative work </li> <li>And forgiveness and coming up short</li> </ul> <p><br /></p> <p><strong>Full Shownotes:</strong> <a href= "https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/george-saunders-511" rel="noopener noreferrer" target= "_blank">https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/george-saunders-511</a></p> <p><br /></p>

Me, A Love Story: How Being OK With Yourself Makes You Better at Everything | Sharon Salzberg

<p><em>New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers.</em></p> <p><em>---</em></p> <p>It might be hard to find a more annoying cliché than self-love; it can seem empty and inactionable. And even if you could make it work, I think many of us suspect it would lead to complacent resignation or unbridled narcissism. But there is an enormous amount of evidence that self-love, or as the scientists call it, self-compassion, can make you more effective in reaching your goals as well as lead to better relationships with everybody around you. </p> <p><br /></p> <p>On today's show, the great meditation teacher Sharon Salzberg will walk us through the idea that love— both self-love and other love— is a skill that can be cultivated with massively positive impacts. </p> <p><br /></p> <p>Salzberg is a meditation pioneer, world-renowned teacher, and New York Times bestselling author. She is one of the first to bring mindfulness and lovingkindness meditation to mainstream American culture over 45 years ago, inspiring generations of meditation teachers and wellness influencers. Sharon is co-founder of <a href= "https://www.dharma.org/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target= "_blank">The Insight Meditation Society</a> in Barre, MA, and the author of twelve books, including the New York Times bestseller, <a href="https://www.sharonsalzberg.com/real-happiness-book/" rel= "noopener noreferrer" target="_blank"><em>Real Happiness</em></a>, now in its second edition, and her seminal work, <a href= "https://www.sharonsalzberg.com/lovingkindness/" rel= "noopener noreferrer" target="_blank"><em>Lovingkindness</em></a>. Her forthcoming release, <a href= "https://us.macmillan.com/books/9781250835734/reallife" rel= "noopener noreferrer" target="_blank"><em>Real Life: The Journey from Isolation to Openness and Freedom</em></a>, is set for release in April of 2023 from Flatiron Books. Her podcast, <a href= "https://www.sharonsalzberg.com/metta-hour-podcast/" rel= "noopener noreferrer" target="_blank"><em>The Metta Hour</em></a><em>,</em> has amassed five million downloads and features interviews with thought leaders from the mindfulness movement and beyond. </p> <p><br /></p> <p>This episode comes out in conjunction with Dan Harris' recent TED Talk on self-love. You can watch the full talk <a href= "https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NuhIzO57HVk" rel= "noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">here</a>.</p> <p><br /></p> <p><br /></p> <p><strong>In this episode we talk about:</strong></p> <p><br /></p> <ul> <li>The definition of self-hatred and its predominance in the West</li> <li>The real practical benefits of self-compassion</li> <li>Whether there is a difference between self-compassion and self-love</li> <li>Why many people resist the idea of self-love</li> <li>The distinction between empathy and compassion and how they work together in Buddhism</li> <li>How to have lovingkindness for somebody who doesn't feel we have the right to exist</li> <li>Reclaiming words like love and happiness</li> <li>And how generosity makes us more whole</li> </ul> <p><br /></p> <p><br /></p> <p><strong>Full Shownotes:</strong> <a href= "http://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/sharon-salzberg-510" rel="noopener noreferrer" target= "_blank">www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/sharon-salzberg-510</a></p>

Seven Buddhist Ingredients for a Happy Mind | Pascal Auclair

<p><em>New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers.</em></p> <p><em>---</em></p> <p><br /></p> <p>Are you interested in suffering less? Today's guest, Dharma teacher Pascal Auclair, is going to talk about seven very specific and practical ways to train your mind for reduced suffering by exploring a Buddhist list called the seven factors of awakening, which is a part of the fourth foundation of mindfulness. We've talked about a bunch of Buddhist lists on the show before, but this is one of the happiest of all the lists to explore. </p> <p><br /></p> <p>Pascal Auclair has been immersed in Buddhist practice and study since 1997, sitting retreats in Asia and America. He has been mentored by <a href= "https://www.dharma.org/teacher/joseph-goldstein/" rel= "noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">Joseph Goldstein</a> and <a href="https://jackkornfield.com/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">Jack Kornfield</a>, who have both been previous guests on this show. Pascal is now a core teacher at the <a href= "https://www.dharma.org/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target= "_blank">Insight Meditation Society (IMS)</a> in Massachusetts. He is also a co-founder of <a href= "https://www.truenorthinsight.org/index.php/en/" rel= "noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">True North Insight</a> and one of its guiding teachers. </p> <p><br /></p> <p><em>This episode is the fifth and final installment of a series we've launched on the four foundations of mindfulness.</em></p> <p><br /></p> <p><strong>In this episode we talk about:</strong></p> <p><br /></p> <ul> <li>The movement from difficult states of mind to more beneficial and helpful states of mind</li> <li>How the 7 factors can help you create your "best mind"</li> <li>The difference between the "energizing" and "calming" factors </li> <li>How to practically apply these factors to your daily life</li> <li>And specifically how the seven factors can improve your relationships</li> </ul> <p><br /></p> <p><br /></p> <p><strong>Full Shownotes:</strong> <a href= "http://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/pascal-auclair-508" rel= "noopener noreferrer" target= "_blank">www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/pascal-auclair-508</a></p> <p><br /></p>

An Episode for Overthinkers | Tuere Sala

<p><em>New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers.</em></p> <p><em>---</em></p> <p><br /></p> <p>Thoughts are not your enemy in meditation. If you're getting distracted while you meditate, that's not necessarily a problem. Thoughts are natural. They're always going to come. The point is not to clear the mind and to magically eradicate all thinking, the point is to have a different relationship to your thoughts. </p> <p><br /></p> <p>When we're not mindful of our thoughts, they march into the room, tell us what to do, and we act them out, reflexively, habitually and automatically— like puppets on a string. Our guest today, Dharma teacher Tuere Sala, is going to talk about how to cut the strings of what can often be a malevolent puppeteer.</p> <p><br /></p> <p>Sala is a Guiding Teacher at <a href= "https://seattleinsight.org/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target= "_blank">Seattle Insight Meditation Society</a> and <a href= "https://www.spiritrock.org/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target= "_blank">Spirit Rock Retreat Center</a>. She's a former prosecutor who has practiced Vipassana meditation for over 30 years and is especially focused on bringing the dharma to nontraditional places. She is a strong advocate for practitioners living with high stress, past trauma and difficulties sitting still. </p> <p><br /></p> <p>In this episode we talk about: </p> <ul> <li>Why we get caught in our thinking</li> <li>Understanding that our thoughts are not who we are</li> <li>How to direct our attention away from negative thoughts</li> <li>How the idea of permanency causes suffering</li> <li>Using thinking itself as the object of our meditation</li> <li>Noticing mind states</li> <li>Relative reality vs. ultimate reality</li> <li>The eight states of mind and their felt sense in the body</li> <li>And Sala's definition of true liberation</li> </ul> <p><br /></p> <p><strong>Full Shownotes:</strong> <a href= "https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/tuere-sala-510" rel= "noopener noreferrer" target= "_blank">https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/tuere-sala-510</a></p>

The 5 Things That Are Ruining Your Meditation (and Your Life) – And How to Handle Them | Bonnie Duran

<p><em>New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers.</em></p> <p><em>---</em></p> <p><br /></p> <p>The Buddha was an inveterate list-maker who gave us easy to remember checklists to help us do life better. One of the handiest lists the Buddha made was called the five hindrances, which is a part of the fourth foundation of mindfulness. This list outlines the five things that mess us up when we're trying to meditate — or, in fact, when we're trying to do anything. If you've got issues right now, odds are pretty high that you are in the throes of one of the hindrances. The excellent news is that the Buddha not only made a taxonomy of the hindrances but also a long list of antidotes. We're going to run through all of this today with Bonnie Duran, a great dharma teacher who is making her second appearance on the show.</p> <p><br /></p> <p>Duran is a teacher and member of the Teachers Council at <a href="https://www.spiritrock.org/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">Spirit Rock Meditation Center</a> and Director of the Center for Indigenous Health Research at the University of Washington's <a href="http://iwri.org/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">Indigenous Wellness Research Institute</a>. She combines extensive research and practice of Buddhism with her deep understanding of indigenous spiritual practices.</p> <p><br /></p> <p><em>This episode is the fourth installment of a series we've launched on the four foundations of mindfulness.</em></p> <p><br /></p> <p>In this episode we talk about:</p> <ul> <li>How the five hindrances manifest in our daily lives</li> <li>Using the RAIN technique to investigate the 5 hindrances</li> <li>Whether there is any type of desire that is helpful</li> <li>Cultivating a sky-like attitude</li> <li>How to not water the seeds of negativity </li> <li>The similarities between Indigenous beliefs and what the Buddha taught</li> <li>How body scans can be an antidote to sleepiness</li> <li>And whether you can ever uproot the hindrances entirely</li> </ul> <p><br /></p> <p><br /></p> <p><strong>Full Shownotes:</strong> <a href= "https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/bonnie-duran-505" rel= "noopener noreferrer" target= "_blank">https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/bonnie-duran-505</a></p>

How To Stop Living An Artificial Life | Karen Armstrong

<p><em>New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers.</em></p> <p><em>---</em></p> <p>Most of us come into the world with the suspicion that we are the center of the universe. This self-preoccupation is natural, but it can often lead to unhappiness in the form of rumination, wallowing, comparison, etc. </p> <p><br /></p> <p>Our guest today, author Karen Armstrong, has a clear proposal for how we can stop living what she calls "artificial" lives and shave down our inborn self-centeredness. Not for nothing, she believes her proposal has the added benefit of perhaps helping to save the planet. </p> <p><br /></p> <p>Armstrong is a former nun who has become one of the world's leading thinkers on religion (particularly the monotheistic ones). She has written such bestsellers as: <a href= "https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/4882/a-history-of-god-by-karen-armstrong/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank"><em>A History of God: The 4,000-Year Quest of Judaism, Christianity and Islam</em></a><em>,</em> <a href= "https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/4887/the-battle-for-god-by-karen-armstrong/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank"><em>The Battle for God</em></a><em>,</em> <a href= "https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/4885/islam-by-karen-armstrong/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank"><em>Islam: A Short History</em></a><em>,</em> and <a href= "https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/294694/buddha-by-karen-armstrong/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target= "_blank"><em>Buddha</em></a><strong>.</strong> Her latest book is called <a href= "https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/671038/sacred-nature-by-karen-armstrong/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank"><em>Sacred Nature: Restoring Our Ancient Bond with the Natural World</em></a><strong><em>.</em></strong></p> <p><br /></p> <p><br /></p> <p><strong>In this episode we talk about:</strong></p> <p><br /></p> <ul> <li>Practices you can try for using nature as a way to make yourself happier</li> <li>How Armstrong conceives of God at this point in her life</li> <li>The benefits of the Confucian practice of "quiet sitting"</li> <li>How her time as a nun paradoxically made her more self-preoccupied rather than less</li> <li>And her definition of holiness</li> </ul> <p><br /></p> <p><br /></p> <p><strong>Full Shownotes:</strong> <a href= "https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/karen-armstrong-504" rel="noopener noreferrer" target= "_blank">https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/karen-armstrong-504</a></p>

The Mental States That Steal Your Calm | Bhikkhu Bodhi

<p><em>New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers</em></p> <p><em>---</em></p> <p>Ever have that experience where you catch yourself in a moment of anger, judgmentalism or fear? And, with a wince, immediately tell yourself a whole story about what kind of person you are? How do you stop this from happening or cut it short once it's already begun?</p> <p><br /></p> <p>The answer? Mindfulness or having the basic self-awareness to see what kind of mental states are arising so that you are not owned them. To use a technical Buddhist term this is called, "mindfulness of mind." It's the ability to see your mind states without taking them personally and it comes from one of the Buddha's most famous lists called the four foundations of mindfulness. </p> <p><br /></p> <p>Today we are going to learn about the whys and wherefores of mindfulness of mind from one of the most esteemed living Buddhist scholars, Bhikkhu Bodhi. Bodhi is a monk, originally from NYC. He is a prolific translator, scholar, and author of books on the Buddha's teachings. He is also President of the <a href= "https://www.baus.org/en/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target= "_blank">Buddhist Association of the United States</a> and co-founder and Chairperson of the Board of <a href= "https://www.buddhistglobalrelief.org/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">Buddhist Global Relief</a>. </p> <p><em>This episode is the third installment of a series we've launched on the four foundations of mindfulness.</em></p> <p><br /></p> <p>In this episode we talk about:</p> <p><br /></p> <ul> <li>The historical backdrop of the four foundations of mindfulness</li> <li>What exactly the Buddha meant by "mindfulness of mind"</li> <li>How we can know whether or not we are being mindful </li> <li>How not to let our mindfulness become a sort of compulsive internal nanny state</li> <li>Practical instructions for the third foundation (given that the Buddha never actually gave them)</li> <li>And Bhikkhu Bodhi's view that we should not be mindfulness zealots</li> </ul> <p><br /></p> <p><br /></p> <p><em>Photo Credit: Hsiao Ying Chang (史曉瑛）</em></p> <p><br /></p> <p><br /></p> <p><strong>Full Shownotes:</strong> <a href= "https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/bhikkhu-bodhi-502" rel= "noopener noreferrer" target= "_blank">https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/bhikkhu-bodhi-502</a></p>

Messiness Is Not a Moral Failing | KC Davis

<p><em>New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers.</em></p> <p><em>---</em></p> <p><br /></p> <p>Today we're talking about an often overlooked source of suffering— housework. There are so many ways in which housework can be a bummer. Maybe we're feeling guilty about the fact that our place is always a mess. Maybe we're driving ourselves crazy with obsessive cleaning. Maybe we have relatives who are overly critical about the state of affairs in our home. Maybe gender politics with our spouses and partners is a source of strife. </p> <p><br /></p> <p>Our guest today, KC Davis, helps deconstruct these often rigid and daunting cultural norms that surround the concept of domestic bliss. As a self-styled anti-perfectionist, Davis has garnered a huge audience on TikTok with more than 1 million followers. She has also written the book, <a href= "https://www.simonandschuster.com/books/How-to-Keep-House-While-Drowning/KC-Davis/9781668002841" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank"><em>How to Keep House While Drowning: A Gentle Approach to Cleaning and Organizing</em></a>. On today's show, she offers a ton of practical tips that are rooted in self compassion and the dogged determination not to use shame as a motivator when it comes to our domestic lives. </p> <p><br /></p> <p><strong>In this episode we talk about: </strong></p> <p><br /></p> <ul> <li>One of KC's slogans,"You don't exist to serve your space, your space exists to serve you" </li> <li>The difference between what's "normal" and what's "functional". For example, why that pile of laundry on the floor is just fine if it works for you</li> <li>Why it's important to think of house work as morally neutral. For example, why doing dishes has nothing to do with you being a good or bad person</li> <li>Why she doesn't believe laziness exists</li> <li>The power of what she calls "category cleaning" </li> <li>Breaking the clean/not clean binary</li> <li>And achieving equitable division of labor around the house </li> </ul> <p><br /></p> <p><br /></p> <p><strong>Full Shownotes:</strong> <a href= "https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/kc-davis-501" rel= "noopener noreferrer" target= "_blank">https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/kc-davis-501</a></p>

Malcolm Gladwell on: Working From Home, Kindness, Sacrifice, and Making Mistakes

<p><em>New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers.</em></p> <p>---</p> <p>In this previously released episode, Malcolm Gladwell responds to backlash he received over his belief that working in an office—and the collaborative creative environment it can offer—is in your best interest (and in the interest of others). We also dive deep into some of the important themes featured in the seventh season of his podcast <a href= "https://www.pushkin.fm/podcasts/revisionist-history" rel= "noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">Revisionist History</a>, including: kindness, generosity, and sacrifice. And, Dan and Gladwell share their biggest mistakes as journalists.</p> <p>Malcolm Gladwell is the president and co-founder of Pushkin Industries, and the author of six New York Times bestselling books including <em>The Tipping Point, Blink, Outliers, David and Goliath</em>, and <em>Talking to Strangers</em>. He's also the host of the new Pushkin podcast <a href= "https://www.pushkin.fm/podcasts/legacy-of-speed" rel= "noopener noreferrer" target="_blank"><em>Legacy of Speed</em></a>. </p> <p><br /></p> <p>In this episode we talk about: </p> <ul> <li>The backlash Malcolm faced from his work from home comments </li> <li>Pushing the noise aside when it comes to social media </li> <li>Lessons in kindness from a recent Revisionist History episode</li> <li>The importance of flow states</li> <li>How he personally relaxes </li> <li>Why people should have a lifelong pursuit or practice</li> <li>What he thinks now about his famous 10,000 hours argument</li> <li>Why we need to engage and investigate the views of others to be morally alert as human beings</li> <li>His biggest journalistic mistake</li> </ul> <p><br /></p> <p><br /></p> <p><em>Content Warning: Brief mention of eating disorders. </em></p> <p><br /></p> <p><br /></p> <p><strong>Full Shownotes:</strong> <a href= "https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/malcolm-gladwell-486" rel="noopener noreferrer" target= "_blank">https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/malcolm-gladwell-486</a></p>

Unhappiness Is Not a Life Sentence | Christina Feldman

<p><em>New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers.</em></p> <p><em>---</em></p> <p><br /></p> <p>Is it possible to be happy no matter what happens? Today we're going right to the source of what makes us unhappy to learn how to disarm and disable potential suffering before it owns us. </p> <p><br /></p> <p>Everything that comes up in our mind is either pleasant, unpleasant, or neutral. In other words, with everything we experience, we either want it, don't want it, or we don't care. In Buddhism, this is called "feeling tones" or "vedana" and it is known as the second foundation of mindfulness in the Buddha's comprehensive list. So why does this matter? Because if you are unaware of the pleasant, unpleasant, or neutral tones, then you are being controlled by them. Similarly, if you are unaware that certain people or things provoke aversion, then you can unthinkingly avoid or even be aggressive towards them. In this way, we can be like puppets on a string— just yanked around by greed, hatred, and numbness. </p> <p><br /></p> <p>Today's guest, dharma teacher Christina Feldman, is going to drill down on this embarkation point for our suffering, zap it with mindfulness and help us understand how we don't have to live like puppets on a string. </p> <p><br /></p> <p>Feldman began teaching in the west in the seventies after spending years in Asia studying Buddhist meditation. She is a co-founder of <a href="http://www.gaiahouse.co.uk/" rel= "noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">Gaia House,</a> a retreat center in the UK, and has also served as a guiding teacher at <a href="http://www.dharma.org/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target= "_blank">Insight Meditation Society</a> beginning in its early days. More recently, she is a co-founder of <a href= "https://bodhi-college.org/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target= "_blank">Bodhi College</a>, which is dedicated to the study and practice of the early teachings of the Buddha. She is the author of a book called, <a href= "https://www.shambhala.com/boundless-heart-3649.html" rel= "noopener noreferrer" target="_blank"><em>Boundless Heart: The Buddha's Path of Kindness, Compassion, Joy, and Equanimity</em></a>, and co-author of <a href= "https://www.guilford.com/books/Mindfulness/Feldman-Kuyken/9781462540105" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">Mindfulness: Ancient Wisdom Meets Modern Psychology</a>.</p> <p><br /></p> <p><em>This episode is the second installment of a series we've launched on the four foundations of mindfulness.</em></p> <p><br /></p> <p><strong>In this episode we talk about:</strong></p> <p><br /></p> <ul> <li>Why vedana is often called, "the ruler of consciousness" or "the king, or the queen of consciousness"</li> <li>How to practice with vedana, and the benefits thereof</li> <li>Her lovely description of the Buddha as being very focused on understanding "the architecture of distress and unhappiness" </li> <li>Her contention that unhappiness is not a life sentence. </li> <li>Her definition of genuine happiness</li> <li>What she means by the power of "giving greater authority to intentionality, rather than to mood or story"</li> <li>And her personal practice of setting life intentions every year</li> </ul> <p><br /></p> <p><br /></p> <p><strong>Full Shownotes:</strong> <a href= "https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/christina-feldman-500" rel="noopener noreferrer" target= "_blank">https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/christina-feldman-500</a></p> <p><br /></p>

Why You're Not Seeing the World Clearly— and How to Fix It | Jessica Nordell

<p><em>New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers.</em></p> <p>---</p> <p>Jessica Nordell is a science and culture journalist who has written for the Atlantic and the New York Times. She earned a B.A. in physics from Harvard and an M.F.A. in poetry from the University of Wisconsin-Madison. Her new book is called <a href= "https://www.jessicanordell.com/the-end-of-bias" rel= "noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">The End of Bias, A Beginning: The Science and Practice of Overcoming Unconscious Bias. </a></p> <p><br /></p> <p><em>Photo Credit: Leslie Plesser</em></p> <p><br /></p> <p>In this episode we talk about: </p> <p><br /></p> <ul> <li>Why humans have biases</li> <li>What happens physiologically when biases are challenged</li> <li>Why some of the most popular personal and institutional strategies for confronting biases do not work </li> <li>The role that mindfulness and loving-kindness can play in reducing bias</li> </ul> <p><br /></p> <p><strong>Full Shownotes:</strong> <a href= "https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/jessica-nordell-rerun" rel="noopener noreferrer" target= "_blank">https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/jessica-nordell-rerun</a></p>

What "Getting Out of Your Head" Actually Means | Dawn Mauricio

<p><em>New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers.</em></p> <p><em>---</em></p> <p>It's such a common desire to get out of our heads — to escape the nonstop, mostly self-referential chatter, the habitual storylines, the ancient resentments and the compulsive self-criticism. Many of us take elaborate and even drastic measures in this regard like self-medication, shopping, tech addiction, and so on. But there's a much healthier option that is readily and perpetually available. In fact, we're dragging it around with us all the time, the body. </p> <p><br /></p> <p>The Buddha is said to have laid out four ways to be mindful. In other words, to be awake to whatever is happening right now. The first of these four foundations of mindfulness is mindfulness of the body and todays' guest, meditation teacher Dawn Mauricio, will walk us through the practical applications of this foundation. </p> <p><br /></p> <p>Mauricio has been meditating since 2005 and is a graduate of <a href="https://www.spiritrock.org/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">Spirit Rock's</a> four-year teacher training program. She is also the author of the book, <a href= "https://dawnmauricio.com/book" rel="noopener noreferrer" target= "_blank"><em>Mindfulness Meditation for Beginners: 50 Meditations to Practice Awareness, Acceptance, and Peace</em></a>. Dawn's been on the show before to <a href= "https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/dawn-mauricio-395" rel= "noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">talk about how to handle difficult people</a>.</p> <p><br /></p> <p><em>This episode is the first installment of a series we've launched on the four foundations of mindfulness.</em></p> <p><br /></p> <p><br /></p> <p><strong>In this episode we talk about:</strong></p> <p><br /></p> <ul> <li>What it <em>actually</em> means to get out of your head and into your body and all of the practical ways to get there </li> <li>How strong emotions and seductive technology can work against us</li> <li>And what to do when being aware of your body might actually not be the best thing for you</li> </ul> <p><br /></p> <p><br /></p> <p><strong>Full Shownotes:</strong> <a href= "https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/dawn-mauricio-498" rel= "noopener noreferrer" target= "_blank">https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/dawn-mauricio-498</a></p>

How to Deal With Emotionally Immature People (Including Maybe Your Own Parents) | Lindsay C. Gibson

<p><em>New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers.</em></p> <p><em>---</em></p> <p><br /></p> <p>Emotionally immature people (EIP's) are hard to avoid and most of us, if not all of us, have to deal with them at some point in our lives. These interactions can range from mildly annoying to genuinely traumatic, especially if the emotionally immature people in question are our own parents, which is true for an awful lot of us.</p> <p><br /></p> <p>Today's guest, clinical psychologist Lindsay C. Gibson, gives advice for dealing with emotionally immature people, whether they're your parents or not. She has written a sleeper hit book on the subject called, <a href= "https://www.newharbinger.com/9781626251700/" rel= "noopener noreferrer" target="_blank"><em>Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents: How to Heal from Distant, Rejecting, or Self-Involved Parents</em></a>.</p> <p><br /></p> <p><strong>In this episode we talk about:</strong></p> <p><br /></p> <ul> <li>The signs of emotional immaturity</li> <li>Whether or not I'm emotionally immature</li> <li>What happens to children who are raised by emotionally immature parents, including their signature coping strategies</li> <li>Why adult children of EIP's turn to healing fantasies, and how to let them go</li> <li>How to cope with emotionally immature parents as an adult</li> <li>What role compassion should and should not play in your relationship with EIP's</li> <li>How to heal</li> </ul> <p><br /></p> <p><br /></p> <p><strong>Full Shownotes:</strong> <a href= "https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/lindsay-gibson-497" rel="noopener noreferrer" target= "_blank">https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/lindsay-gibson-497</a></p>

Why Is Everyone Talking About the Enneagram? And What the Hell Is It? | Susan Piver

<p><em>New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers.</em></p> <p><em>---</em></p> <p><br /></p> <p>In the last couple of years, many people have been extolling the virtues of something called the "Enneagram" but—what the hell is it? </p> <p><br /></p> <p>On today's show, longtime dharma teacher, Susan Piver, is here to demystify it. As she explains, the Enneagram is a tool that allows people to figure out their personality type and says it has been one of, if not the most important, tool in her personal development. </p> <p><br /></p> <p>Piver has been a student of Buddhism since 1995, graduated from a Buddhist seminary in 2004 and was authorized to teach meditation in 2005. In 2012, she founded The Open Heart Project— the world's largest online-only meditation center. She's written ten books including her latest called <a href= "https://openheartproject.com/lionheart-press/" rel= "noopener noreferrer" target="_blank"><em>The Buddhist Enneagram: Nine Paths to Warriorship</em></a><em>. </em></p> <p><br /></p> <p>In this episode we talk about:</p> <p><br /></p> <ul> <li>What the Enneagram is and why Piver finds it so helpful</li> <li>What she means by warriorship</li> <li>The nine personality types, which she views as maps of our blind spots</li> <li>Why, unlike other personality systems, there is no test for the Enneagram (at least in Susan's view)</li> <li>And we talk about why Susan thinks the Enneagram and Buddhism mix so well even though on first blush it would seem to contradict the dharmic emphasis on the self being an illusion</li> </ul> <p><br /></p> <p><br /></p> <p><strong>Full Shownotes:</strong> <a href= "https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/susan-piver-495" rel= "noopener noreferrer" target= "_blank">https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/susan-piver-495</a></p>

How to Speak Clearly, Calmly, and Without Alienating People | Dan Clurman and Mudita Nisker

<p><em>New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers.</em></p> <p><em>---</em></p> <p><br /></p> <p>Most of us talk all day long. We speak to each other, we type at each other, and of course, we talk to ourselves internally. Talking and listening is a key part of what it means to be human and It's very hard to be a successful person if you can't communicate your ideas and listen to and understand other people. </p> <p><br /></p> <p>Today's guests, Mudita Nisker and Dan Clurman, are here to explain some very simple and easy to understand communication skills that can transform your life. Their new book, <a href= "https://letstalkmethod.com/buy-book/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank"><em>Let's Talk: An Essential Guide to Skillful Communication</em></a> concisely summarizes their teachings and they're coming on the show today to walk us through some of the key learnings from this book. </p> <p><br /></p> <p>Over the past thirty years Nisker and Clurman have provided communication training to individuals and organizations in the private, public, government, and nonprofit sectors. They have also led workshops, and trained staff at leading mindfulness centers such as Insight Meditation Society and Spirit Rock Meditation Center. Clurman is a communication coach and professor in the Ageno School of Business at Golden Gate University in San Francisco. Nisker is a licensed marriage and family therapist in private practice. </p> <p><br /></p> <p><br /></p> <p><strong>In this episode we talk about:</strong></p> <p><br /></p> <ul> <li>Talking vs. listening</li> <li>Content vs. process </li> <li>The power of saying nothing at all</li> <li>Reflective listening </li> <li>The Buddhist concept of Right Speech</li> <li>Content goals vs. relationship goals</li> <li>"I" language</li> <li>Provisional language</li> <li>Stating positive intentions</li> <li>Framing</li> <li>And Flooding vs. chunking</li> </ul> <p><br /></p> <p><br /></p> <p><em>You can read an excerpt of the book,</em> <a href= "https://letstalkmethod.com/buy-book/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank"><em>Let's Talk: An Essential Guide to Skillful Communication</em></a> <em>if you subscribe to our TPH newsletter, which comes out every Sunday. And you can subscribe if you go to:</em> <a href="https://www.tenpercent.com/newsletter" rel= "noopener noreferrer" target= "_blank"><em>tenpercent.com/newsletter</em></a>.</p> <p><br /></p> <p><strong>Full Shownotes:</strong> <a href= "https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/dan-clurman-and-mudita-nisker-494" rel="noopener noreferrer" target= "_blank">https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/dan-clurman-and-mudita-nisker-494</a></p>

You're Breathing Wrong. Here's How to Fix It | James Nestor

<p><em>New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers.</em></p> <p><em>---</em></p> <p><br /></p> <p>At times, self-improvement can seem like a never-ending hallway filled with limitless shame and insufficiency. So when something as simple as the breath falls into this category, it seems only natural to meet that news with some resistance. Our guest today, James Nestor argues that many of us, of all things, are breathing incorrectly but that by fixing our breathing, it can help with both physical and psychological ailments. </p> <p><br /></p> <p>Nestor is a science journalist who wrote a book called, <a href= "https://www.mrjamesnestor.com/order-now" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank"><em>Breath: The New Science of a Lost Art</em></a>, which spent 18 weeks on the New York Times bestseller list and was translated into more than 35 languages.</p> <p><br /></p> <p>In this episode we talk about: </p> <p><br /></p> <ul> <li>How Nestor got interested in breathing in the first place</li> <li>Why we are the worst breathers in the animal kingdom</li> <li>The importance of posture</li> <li>The deleterious effects of mouth breathing</li> <li>Why we need to chew more</li> <li>The relationship between breathing and anxiety</li> <li>The relationship between breathing and sleep</li> <li>And we dive into a variety of breathing exercises </li> </ul> <p><br /></p> <p><br /></p> <p><strong>Full Shownotes:</strong> <a href= "https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/james-nestor-492" rel= "noopener noreferrer" target= "_blank">https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/james-nestor-492</a></p>

A New Way to Think About Your Money | William MacAskill

<p><em>New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers.</em></p> <p><em>---</em></p> <p><br /></p> <p>Most of us worry about money sometimes, but what if we changed the way we thought about our relationship to finances? Today's guest, William MacAskill, offers a framework in which to do just that. He calls it effective altruism. One of the core arguments of effective altruism is that we all ought to consider giving away a significant chunk of our income because we know, to a mathematical near certainty, that several thousand dollars could save a life.</p> <p><br /></p> <p>Today we're going to talk about the whys and wherefores of effective altruism. This includes how to get started on a very manageable and doable level (which does not require you to give away most of your income), and the benefits this practice has on both the world and your own psyche.</p> <p><br /></p> <p>MacAskill is an associate professor of philosophy at Oxford University and one of the founders of the effective altruism movement. He has a new book out called, <a href= "https://bookshop.org/books/what-we-owe-the-future/9781541618626" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank"><em>What We Owe the Future</em></a><em>,</em> where he makes a case for longtermism, a term used to describe developing the mental habit of thinking about the welfare of future generations. </p> <p><br /></p> <p><strong>In this episode we talk about:</strong> </p> <p><br /></p> <ul> <li>Effective altruism</li> <li>Whether humans are really wired to consider future generations</li> <li>Practical tips for thinking and acting on longtermism</li> <li>His argument for having children</li> <li>And his somewhat surprising take on how good our future could be if we play our cards right</li> </ul> <p><br /></p> <p><br /></p> <p><em>Podcast listeners can get 50% off</em> <a href= "https://bookshop.org/books/what-we-owe-the-future/9781541618626" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank"><em>What We Owe the Future</em></a> <em>using the code</em> <strong><em>WWOTF50</em></strong> <em>at</em> <a href= "http://bookshop.org/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target= "_blank"><em>Bookshop.org</em></a>.</p> <p><br /></p> <p><strong>Full Shownotes:</strong> <a href= "https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/william-macaskill-491" rel="noopener noreferrer" target= "_blank">https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/william-macaskill-491</a></p>

How to Create an Exercise Habit Without Driving Yourself Nuts | Kelly McGonigal

<p><em>New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers.</em></p> <p><em>---</em></p> <p><br /></p> <p>In this episode from our archives, psychologist <a href= "http://kellymcgonigal.com/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target= "_blank">Kelly McGonigal</a> dives into her book <a href= "http://kellymcgonigal.com/books" rel="noopener noreferrer" target= "_blank"><em>The Joy of Movement</em></a> and practical steps on how to develop healthy habits.</p> <p><br /></p> <p>Kelly McGonigal, PhD, is a health psychologist and lecturer at Stanford University, and a leading expert in the new field of "science-help." She is passionate about translating cutting-edge research from psychology, neuroscience, and medicine into practical strategies for health, happiness, and personal success. She is the author of <em>The Joy of Movement, The Willpower Instinct, and The Upside of Stress.</em></p> <p><br /></p> <p>In this conversation we talk about: </p> <p><br /></p> <ul> <li>Why her book is a love letter to movement and human nature </li> <li>The science behind the runner's high</li> <li>Why she wants to change the conversation around movement </li> <li>Why shame and self-criticism is disempowering and not motivating </li> <li>The value of setting intentions</li> <li>How Kelly has used psychology and meditation to relieve her own pain and suffering </li> <li>And what Tonglen meditation is — and its impact on her life </li> </ul> <p><br /></p> <p><br /></p> <p><strong>Full Shownotes:</strong> <a href= "https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/kelly-mcgonigal-rerun" rel="noopener noreferrer" target= "_blank">https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/kelly-mcgonigal-rerun</a></p>

Malcolm Gladwell on: Working From Home, Kindness, Sacrifice, and Making Mistakes

<p>Since the start of COVID-19, more people are working from home, and with that, more people have strong opinions about whether or not it's the best route to take.</p> <p><br /></p> <p>In today's episode, Malcolm Gladwell responds to recent backlash over why he believes that working in an office—and the collaborative creative environment it can offer—is in your best interest (and in the interest of others). We also dive deep into some of the important themes featured in the seventh season of his podcast <a href= "https://www.pushkin.fm/podcasts/revisionist-history" rel= "noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">Revisionist History</a>, including: kindness, generosity, and sacrifice. And, Dan and Gladwell share their biggest mistakes as journalists.</p> <p><br /></p> <p>Malcolm Gladwell is the president and co-founder of Pushkin Industries, and the author of six New York Times bestselling books including <em>The Tipping Point, Blink, Outliers, David and Goliath</em>, and <em>Talking to Strangers</em>. He's also the host of the new Pushkin podcast <a href= "https://www.pushkin.fm/podcasts/legacy-of-speed" rel= "noopener noreferrer" target="_blank"><em>Legacy of Speed</em></a>. </p> <p><br /></p> <p>In this episode we talk about: </p> <p><br /></p> <ul> <li>The backlash Malcolm faced from his work from home comments </li> <li>Pushing the noise aside when it comes to social media </li> <li>Lessons in kindness from a recent Revisionist History episode</li> <li>The importance of flow states</li> <li>How he personally relaxes </li> <li>Why people should have a lifelong pursuit or practice</li> <li>What he thinks now about his famous 10,000 hours argument</li> <li>Why we need to engage and investigate the views of others to be morally alert as human beings</li> <li>His biggest journalistic mistake</li> </ul> <p><br /></p> <p><br /></p> <p><em>Content Warning: Brief mention of eating disorders. </em></p> <p><br /></p> <p><br /></p> <p><strong>Full Shownotes:</strong> <a href= "https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/malcolm-gladwell-486" rel="noopener noreferrer" target= "_blank">https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/malcolm-gladwell-486</a></p>