10% Happier with Dan Harris

Uprooting Your Delusions | Andrea Fella

I know you guys, and it is pretty clear you love deep dharma episodes. Today we've got a dharma episode that is quite timely. As you all know, we live in a time when most people are getting their news from carefully curated information silos. As a result, we often create very specific views— about public figures, current events, our fellow citizens — and we can cling pretty tightly to those views. Today we're gonna talk about how useful and even pleasurable it can be to dig into the roots of these biases and dismantle them— to pop our bubbles of delusion. It can be a relief. It can be eye-opening. It can change the way you relate to yourself and to other people. My guest is Andrea Fella. She is the co-teacher at the Insight Meditation Center and the Insight Retreat Center in Redwood City, California. She has been practicing Insight Meditation since 1996, and teaching Insight Meditation since 2003. She is particularly drawn to intensive retreat practice, and has done a number of long retreats, both in the United States and in Burma. During one long practice period in Burma, she ordained as a nun. Also: We are looking for a podcast marketer! If you love this show, marketing, and building relationships, we would love to have you on the team to help us grow Ten Percent Happier and our future shows. Please apply at https://www.tenpercent.com/careers. And don't forget to check out the new ABC podcast In Plain Sight: Lady Bird Johnson, which you can find here: https://abcaudio.com/podcasts/in-plain-sight/ Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/andrea-fella-327

How to Make a Masterpiece | Pete Docter

<p>We're all creatives, whether we think of ourselves that way or not. In so many aspects of your life, from planning your future to planning a meal to curating your social media, you need to be able to both envision and then execute. And how you work with your mind in these moments is key. Today, we are going to hear from a master creator -- the mind behind brilliant Pixar movies such as Inside Out, Up, and the recently-released Soul -- about how to run a creative process at the highest possible level. (I have a six-year-old, and, in my opinion, one of the worst parts of the job of being a dad is sitting through insipid children's entertainment. But the aforementioned films have been both thrilling and moving to consume, for both me and my son.) My guest today is Pete Docter, who directed all three of those films. He is the Chief Creative Officer of Pixar. He is also a meditator and a practicing Christian whose films are each motivated by a big, pressing question he is posing to himself about his own life. In this conversation, he takes us inside the making of his films, most notably Soul, for which he and his team had to invent a coherent metaphysical scheme to explain both the afterlife -- and the before. We also talk about how his spiritual practices support his storytelling endeavors, and how to power through the pain, frustration, and embarrassment of trying to make something truly original. One more thing: We would appreciate it if you could take a few minutes to help us out by answering a survey about your experience with this podcast. Our team here cares deeply about you, our listeners, and we are always looking for ways to improve. Please go to https://www.tenpercent.com/survey. And thank you. Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/pete-docter-326</p>

A New Way to Think About Addiction | Annie Grace

The stereotypical depiction of fighting addiction makes it seem highly unpleasant: White knuckling, sweating it out, detoxing, going cold turkey–you get the picture. This applies to classical addiction, and also to the less dangerous (but nonetheless nettlesome) unhealthy habits and compulsions that we all wrestle with. My guest today takes a very different approach. She aims to harness the pleasure centers of the brain as a way to handle addictive habits—and, controversially, she doesn't believe you need to go cold turkey on alcohol, which is the main intoxicant she has targeted. Her name is Annie Grace, and she is the author of a very popular book called This Naked Mind. (Shout out to my friend and colleague Steve Baker, the executive producer of Nightline, who has gotten a lot out of Annie's work, and turned me on to her.) This episode is the second in a two-part series we're doing this week on addiction. If you missed it, go check out Monday's episode with Buddhist teacher Kevin Griffin, who has worked to combine the dharma and the 12 steps. Speaking of the 12 steps, many people in the AA community are quite critical of Annie Grace, and she will address that in our conversation. We also cover: Her personal story, and why she now drinks as much alcohol as she wants to–which is none at all; the connection between her approach and Evelyn Tribole's "intuitive eating"; and her thoughts on working with other addictions, including nicotine, gambling, shopping, pornography, and video games. Also: We would appreciate it if you could take a few minutes to help us out by answering a new survey about your experience with this podcast. We want to hear about your experience with our show, because we care deeply, and we are always looking for ways to improve. Please go to https://www.tenpercent.com/survey. Thank you! Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/annie-grace-325

Your Craving Mind | Kevin Griffin

This is an episode about our craving, grasping minds. Whether you have struggled with a classic addiction or not, we all have addictive tendencies; we all wrestle with desire. I often think about a provocative question once posed by my friend, Dr. Jud Brewer, a Buddhist practitioner and addiction specialist: Are we all addicted? The implied answer is yes.    My guest today thinks about addiction in a similarly broad and compelling way. He talks about addictions to substances like drugs and alcohol, but also addiction to self and addiction to racism. Kevin Griffin is a longtime Buddhist practitioner and 12 Step participant, and is one of the founders of the Buddhist Recovery Network. He has trained with many of the legendary teachers we have interviewed on this show, including Jack Kornfield and Joseph Goldstein. He has written many books, including One Breath at a Time: Buddhism & the Twelve Steps. His latest is Buddhism & the Twelve Steps: Daily Reflections: Thoughts on Dharma and Recovery.   This is the first in a two part series we're doing this week on addiction. During the pandemic, we've seen alcohol use go up and drug overdose deaths rise. On Wednesday, we're going to talk to a woman named Annie Grace, who has come up with what she believes is a powerful alternative to AA. But today, it's Kevin Griffin. We cover a lot of ground here, including: How he connects the dharma to the 12 Steps, and a Buddhist list called the three refuges. But we start with what he calls the foundational addiction: addiction to the self.   Podcast Survey - We would appreciate it if you could take a few minutes to help us out by answering a brand-new survey about your experience with this podcast. We want to hear about your experience with our show, because we care deeply, and we are always looking for ways to improve. Please go to https://www.tenpercent.com/survey. Thank you!   Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/kevin-griffin-324

Making it RAIN | Tara Brach

Today we're going to talk about a massively useful acronym, which can be used both on the cushion and in your free-range living. The acronym is RAIN -- R-A-I-N -- and rather than explaining it myself, I will leave that to my guest, who has become one of RAIN's primary proponents. Tara Brach is an author, therapist, and meditation teacher. She has a Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology, she founded the Insight Meditation Community of Washington, and she has written several books, including her latest, which is called Radical Compassion. We first posted this interview in January 2020, shortly after that book came out. In this conversation, we talk about: What RAIN is and how to apply it in many areas of your life, including relationships; a Buddhist list called The Eight Worldly Winds; and whether most people harbor a suspicion that there's something fundamentally wrong with us. But we start and end the conversation with a touchy subject. In my first book, I made fun of Tara a little bit, which didn't go down that well with her, although I didn't know that until this chat. I really respect how warm and open she was during this tricky discussion. Stay tuned until the very end, when we fully wrap that subject up. Also: We would appreciate it if you could take a few minutes to help us out by answering a brand-new survey about your experience with this podcast. Our team here cares deeply about you, our listeners, and we are always looking for ways to improve. Please go to https://www.tenpercent.com/survey. Thank you! Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/tara-brach-repost

Holding it Together When Things Fall Apart | Pema Chödrön

We're now almost a full year into the era of Covid restrictions, and I suspect that many of you, as I am, are starting to internalize the fact that, notwithstanding the vaccines, there's likely a ways to go yet. And the mental health issues are piling up: The depression, anxiety, and addiction. Moms, people of color, and elderly people who can't see their families are among those getting hit especially hard. To inject a little sunshine, and perspective, and wisdom, we thought it might make sense to re-post one of our favorite conversations of the last year. Pema Chödrön has seemingly been trying to prepare us for this pandemic for years, through a series of popular books, with titles such as When Things Fall Apart, Welcoming the Unwelcome, and The Wisdom of No Escape. But as you will hear, she is anything but gloomy. Like all of the great meditation teachers I've met, she has a lightness and a sense of humor about her. She was born Deirdre Blomfield in Connecticut. She lived a conventional life, going to UC Berkeley, becoming a school teacher, and having a pair of kids. But after a rough divorce, she found herself adrift. During this time, she discovered Tibetan Buddhism, shaved her head, and became a nun. Now in her mid-eighties, she lives in rural Nova Scotia, where she is the director of Gampo Abbey. We connected with her — back in May — on an old-school landline. I was recording my half of the conversation from a closet in our erstwhile apartment in New York City, which at the time was the epicenter of the outbreak in America. We talked about how to actually welcome the unwelcome. We also discussed how to befriend your demons, sympathize without being stupid, lighten up in the face of fear, and embrace chaos as "extremely good news." One other thing: we would appreciate it if you could take a few minutes to help us out by answering a brand-new survey about your experience with this podcast. To do so, please go to https://www.tenpercent.com/survey. And thank you! Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/pema-chodron-repost

How (and Why) to Hug Your Inner Dragons | Richard Schwartz

How do you relate to the more difficult— and even ugly— aspects of your personality? How do you feel about yourself when you are, say, in a judgmental or vengeful or jealous mode? Is that an opportunity for self-laceration? My guest today agrees with me that one of the healthiest possible inner moves is to learn how to hug your dragons, instead of attempting to slay them (which is only likely to make them stronger). Dr. Richard Schwartz is a psychotherapist with a Ph.D. in marriage and family therapy. He founded something called the Internal Family Systems model of therapy, often referred to as IFS. His basic idea is that our consciousness is broken down into several parts. These parts can become rebellious and troublesome when traumatized or unattended. In this conversation, we talk about: how to relate to your parts more successfully; the overlap between IFS and Buddhism; and why meditation isn't enough, in his view. We also attempt to dive in and do some IFS therapy work together. I'm not sure I was a particularly good patient, but you can judge for yourself. Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/richard-schwartz-323

A Deeply Healthy Kind of Perfectionism | Jetsunma Tenzin Palmo

<p>We have talked a lot on this show about how perfectionism can have pernicious impacts on your psyche. Today we're going to talk about how, by contrast, a certain kind of perfection is very much worth aiming for. We're diving into another Buddhist list in this episode: the six paramitas, or the six perfections. These are six mental skills that you will never perfect, most likely. But simply working on them can confer massive benefits. My guest is Jetsunma Tenzin Palmo. She was born Diane Perry in England, but 55 years ago, she traveled to India, where she ordained as a Tibetan Buddhist nun. At one point, she quite famously spent 12 years living and practicing in a cave in the Himalayas. She's now the Founding Director of the Dongyu Gatsal Ling Nunnery in India. We start by discussing her extraordinary life. Then we dive into the six paramitas. We talk about: why patience is a kind of armor, why we need other people to push our buttons, the importance of dissolving the small self to get to the perfection that lies beyond, how to convince your ego to walk this path, and why she thinks a sense of humor should be the seventh paramita. Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/jetsunma-tenzin-palmo-322</p>

The Joy of Being Wrong | Adam Grant

My guest today makes a fascinating and potentially life-changing case. He argues that we need to reconsider how we view intelligence. He says that instead of viewing intelligence as the ability to think and learn, we should view it as the ability to rethink and unlearn. My guest, whose name is Adam Grant, says there is evidence that, in a fast-moving world, what he calls the "critical art of rethinking" can "position you for excellence at work and wisdom in life." Not for nothing, in a world where many of us are stuck in our own information silos, the ability to rethink and open our minds may be one way we can dig ourselves out of our current societal divisions. Some of you may know Adam. He's been on the show before. He's an organizational psychologist, a TED speaker, a professor at Wharton, and the author of four New York Times bestselling books, including one that has had a big influence on me, called Give and Take, which is all about how generosity can contribute to professional success. I am happy to report that Adam has done it again: He has written a compelling and timely book. In this conversation, we talk about how to build the skill of rethinking; how the people who speak the most confidently are often the least competent; and what he calls the surprising upsides of imposter syndrome. Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/adam-grant-321

The Buddha's 8-Part Manual for a Good Life | Brother Pháp Dung

Today we're talking about one of the Buddha's first and most important lists: the Eightfold Path. I'm kinda surprised we've never done a deep dive into this list on the show before, but better late than never. Some context before we dive in: The Buddha, as many of you know, was a congenital list maker. His first and foundational list was the Four Noble Truths. This is the list that begins with "life is suffering" -- which is something of a mistranslation; it basically means that life will be unsatisfying if you are constantly clinging to things that will not last, given the nonnegotiable fact of relentless impermanence. The second noble truth is that the cause of our suffering is thirst or clinging. The third is that there is a way out of this mess. And the fourth is a sort of manual for waking up and suffering less. That fourth noble truth is the Eightfold path. It's a list within a list. And to help us unpack it all is a fascinating person named Brother Pháp Dung. He was born in Vietnam, came to the US with his family as a child refugee, and was raised in LA. He later trained in architecture at USC before becoming a monk under his teacher, a towering figure in modern Buddhism named Thich Nhat Hanh. Phap Dung has a fascinating critique of our capitalist, consumerist culture. He's not saying that we should opt out, just that we can use the Eightfold Path to create a different relationship to it all. So we dive into all of that in this chat -- but we begin with his personal story, which involves family strife and a lot of skepticism. Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/brother-phap-dung-320

How to Do Nothing | Jenny Odell

For an audience of meditators (or aspiring meditators), the idea of doing nothing shouldn't be foreign. But, speaking from personal experience, it is very possible, especially for Type A people, to approach meditation with an agenda. In which case, sitting on the cushion can be very far from truly doing nothing. Enter Jenny Odell, who makes a very compelling case for truly… doing… nothing. In her work, she is challenging what for many of us, myself included, is a deep-seated and sometimes subconscious reflex: to constantly optimize and constantly be "productive." She is a Lecturer in the Stanford Department of Art and Art History and author of the bestseller How to Do Nothing, which just came out in paperback. She comes to the subject of time from a very different perspective than our guest on Monday, Ashley Whillans. (If you haven't listened to that episode, go do it; these two make a fascinating pairing.) In this conversation, Jenny and I talk about: letting go of our constant demand for productivity and learning to simply look around; the thrilling phenomenon of observing something so deeply that you actually cease to understand it; why moments of disgust, or even existential despair, can actually be quite instructive; and how to divest from what she calls "the attention economy"–and where to reinvest instead. Take a few minutes to help us out by answering a survey about your experience with this podcast! The team here is always looking for ways to improve, and we'd love to hear from all of you, but we'd particularly like to hear from those of you who listen to the podcast and do not use our companion app. Please visit http://www.tenpercent.com/survey to take the survey. Thank you. Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/jenny-odell-319

A New Way to Think About Your Time | Ashley Whillans

For many of us, in this pandemic, our relationship to time has become particularly fraught. You may be noticing that, with no limits on your work time, you are going into overdrive and feeling more crazed than ever. Or you may be feeling like you have too much time and are bored out of your mind. Or you may be feeling both. My guest, Ashley Whillans, is an Assistant Professor at Harvard Business School and author of the book Time Smart. She was recommended to us by a former guest, Laurie Santos, a professor from Yale and host of The Happiness Lab podcast. Ashley has a radical approach to managing your time -- or taking your time, to put a new spin on an old cliche. Her goal is to get you from a state of "time poverty" to "time affluence." In this conversation, we talk about: how to do a time audit; funding time, finding time, and reframing time; the surprising extent to which prioritizing time over money predicts happiness -- and what to do if you usually do the opposite; how to handle "time confetti"; and the value of canceling meetings. This is the first of a two-part series we are doing this week on time. On Wednesday, we're going to talk to someone with a rather different approach. Her name is Jenny Odell and she wrote a bestseller called How To Do Nothing. Take a few minutes to help us out by answering a survey about your experience with this podcast! The team here is always looking for ways to improve, and we'd love to hear from all of you, but we'd particularly like to hear from those of you who listen to the podcast and do not use our companion app. Please visit https://www.tenpercent.com/survey to take the survey. Thank you.   Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/ashley-whillans-318

Non-Preachy Ethics | Jozen Tamori Gibson

We're diving in on another Buddhist list today. One of the many things I like about the Buddha is that, as far as I can tell, he pretty much always aims his messages, even the hard-to-swallow ones, at the pleasure centers of the brain. Even when he's talking about ethics, which could come off as preachy or overly abstemious. Today, we're going to talk about the Five Precepts. The Precepts are kind of like the Buddhist version of the Ten Commandments. Except, as you will hear, there is, by design, an enormous amount of flexibility in how you can interpret and apply these precepts. And undergirding it all is, as mentioned, self-interest. The reason not to steal or lie or kill is that, in the end, it protects your mind. My guest is Jozen Tamori Gibson, who has trained in the Sotō Zen and Theravada traditions, is on the Teacher's Council for New York Insight Meditation Center, and teaches in a variety of other settings, including the Insight Meditation Society. Jozen's pronouns are they/them. Quick note before we dive in: Jozen lives on a busy street, so you will sometimes hear a little bit of background noise. Take a few minutes to help us out by answering a survey about your experience with this podcast! The team here is always looking for ways to improve, and we'd love to hear from all of you, but we'd particularly like to hear from those of you who listen to the podcast and do not use our companion app. Please visit www.tenpercent.com/survey to take the survey. Thank you. Where to find Jozen Tamori Gibson online: Website: https://www.dharma.org/teacher/jozen-tamori-gibson/ Social Media: •   Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jozentamorigibson/?hl=e Book Mentioned: •   "Experience of Insight" Audiobook: https://www.audible.com/pd/The-Experience-of-Insight-Audiobook/1645470377 Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/jozen-tamori-gibson-317

How to Call People In (Instead of Calling Them Out) | Loretta Ross

On this Martin Luther King day, it's tempting to fear that America, and the world, may never have been further away from the kind of inclusive society that Dr. King called for so eloquently. So today, we are, I hope, going to give you a little hope -- and perhaps also some ideas for how you can be an engaged citizen without losing your mind. My guest is Loretta Ross, who describes herself as a radical Black feminist, activist, and public intellectual. She's a Visiting Associate Professor at Smith College, and she also teaches an online course that caught our eye. It's called, "Calling in the Calling Out Culture." She believes that "calling out," which is quite common on social media these days, is adding way too much toxicity to the discourse and alienating people who might otherwise be allies. Instead, she believes in "calling in," which steadfastly insists on a large measure of grace, and rejects the impulse to dehumanize. As you will hear, she is a longtime leftist, but no matter where you stand politically, she is modeling a compelling mode of engaging that is insistently open-minded and large-hearted. And, as you will hear, it is one she has personally put the test, as a Black woman who has worked with white supremacists, and a rape survivor who has worked with incarcerated rapists.  Where to find Loretta Ross online:  Website: https://lorettajross.com Social Media: • Twitter: https://twitter.com/LorettaJRoss • Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/lorettaross • YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCm2FxbqwV3BEhDpnAihWKqQ Take a few minutes to help us out by answering a survey about your experience with this podcast! The team here is always looking for ways to improve, and we'd love to hear from all of you, but we'd particularly like to hear from those of you who listen to the podcast and do not use our companion app. Please visit www.tenpercent.com/survey to take the survey. Thank you. Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/loretta-ross-316

A Big Dose of Perspective | Jack Kornfield

This is exactly what I needed right now: a huge, helpful dose of perspective in the midst of the political crisis gripping America -- a crisis which, of course, has ripple effects for the whole world. Jack Kornfield trained as a Buddhist monk in Thailand, India, and Burma. He went on to co-found the Insight Meditation Society and then its sister center, Spirit Rock. He holds a Ph.D. in clinical psychology and is a father, husband and activist. His books have been translated into 20 languages and sold more than a million copies. They include, A Wise Heart, After the Ecstasy, the Laundry, and his most recent book, No Time Like the Present. You may ask: what's the point of meditating when the world is on fire? Jack has extremely satisfying and practical answers. We talk about how to deal with anger and fear, how to talk to our kids, and whether people can feel it when we send them compassion or friendliness. Two quick notes before we dive in: you may hear a little ticking noise on Jack's audio for the first ten minutes; it goes away after we discover that a wristwatch was placed near the mic. Second, he leads a quick guided meditation in the middle of our chat. Don't close your eyes if you're driving! Gretchen Rubin's The Happiness Experience 2021 - Check it out here http://bit.ly/3bgeBn4 and use promo code HAPPIER2021 to save over $100.  Where to find Jack Kornfield online:  Website: https://jackkornfield.com/bio/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/JackKornfield Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/jkornfield/ Instagram: @jack_kornfield Additional Resources: • Ten Percent Happier Live: https://tenpercent.com/live • Coronavirus Sanity Guide: https://www.tenpercent.com/coronavirussanityguide • Free App access for Frontline Workers: https://tenpercent.com/care Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/jack-kornfield-315

A Wise and Counterintuitive Way to Meditate in a Crisis | Lama Rod Owens

If you're either seething or scared — or both — in the aftermath of the attack on the US Capitol, this one's for you. In times of national and international strife, we've made it a habit of turning to Lama Rod Owens. Rod was officially recognized as a lama by the Kagyu school of Tibetan Buddhism after doing a three-year retreat. He has a Master of Divinity degree from Harvard. And he has written several books, including his newest, which is called Love and Rage. In this conversation, which we recorded just yesterday, we talk about how to work with the anger and fear many of us are feeling right now. We also talk about how to communicate with people with whom we disagree; how to strategically divest from people and technologies that are depleting us (rather than self-medicating with distraction); and why the most important way to play a constructive role right now — although this may be counterintuitive for some people — is to start with yourself. Where to find Lama Rod Owens online:  Website: https://www.lamarod.com Twitter: https://twitter.com/LamaRod1 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/lamarod/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lamarodowens/ Book Mentioned: Love and Rage: The Path of Liberation Through Anger by Lama Rod Owens https://bookshop.org/books/love-and-rage-the-path-of-liberation-through-anger-9781623174095/9781623174095 Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/lama-rod-314

National Trauma–Now What? | Jon Kabat-Zinn Special Edition

<p>I don't know about you, but I felt a lot of anger, fear, and sadness while watching those horrifying images from the United States Capitol on Wednesday. So how do we handle this with some degree of equanimity? That's what we're going to talk about today. It's Friday, which is when we usually post bonus meditations or talks, but given the collective trauma we are living through -- both in the US and around the world -- we wanted to post a special episode. I'll be honest... as a journalist and as a meditation evangelist, I can't sit here and guarantee that everything's going to be alright. I suspect it will be, but -- really -- I don't know. What I do know, though, is that meditation -- taking care of your own mind -- will help you navigate this moment more skillfully. And if enough of us do this, it might impact the course of events.  You know who agrees with me? Jon Kabat-Zinn. He's a towering figure in the world of meditation and mental health. He created Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction, a way of teaching meditation that brought the practice into the secular mainstream and resulted in an explosion of scientific research demonstrating the benefits of the practice. He's written such books as Wherever You Go, There You Are and Full Catastrophe Living. And he's a Professor of Medicine Emeritus at the University of Massachusetts Medical School. How to join the New Year's Challenge: Join the New Year's Challenge by downloading the Ten Percent Happier app : https://10percenthappier.app.link/install. You should be prompted to join the Challenge after registering your account. If you've already downloaded the app, just open it up or visit this link to join: https://10percenthappier.app.link/NewYearsChallenge21 Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/jon-kabat-zinn-313</p>

You're Doing Resolutions Wrong. Here's How to Fix It. | Dr. Laurie Santos

New Year's Series Episode 4. Today we're going to dive into the science behind why so many of us get New Year's resolutions so wrong -- and how we can do better. My guest is Dr. Laurie Santos. As you may remember, she made her debut on this show just over a month ago, in an episode about how to handle the pandemic winter blues. She was such a font of practical wisdom that we almost immediately invited her back.  Laurie is a tenured psychology professor at Yale, where she teaches a massively popular course on happiness. She also hosts an excellent podcast called The Happiness Lab, where right now, she's doing a series of episodes along a very similar theme--what she's calling "anti-resolutions"--so I definitely recommend checking that out.  In today's conversation, we talk about why resolutions are a thing in the first place; why they so often go pear-shaped; and common pitfalls and misunderstandings in our attempts to lose weight, exercise more, or make more money. As we've been stressing in our New Year's series, Laurie argues that one powerful antidote to our resolution morass is self-compassion. As we've been saying throughout our series, the research shows that self-compassion is much better fuel for habit change than our usual mode of shame. I have been referring to it as a kind of uber-habit, out of which all other habits can flow.  Join Laurie Santos in the New Year's Challenge: https://challenges.tenpercent.com/?challenge=new-years-2021&challenge_invite=gDTcpTfZgSdFXZvhtG6u3sSe&challenge_title=New%20Year%27s%20Challenge    How to join the New Year's Challenge: Join the New Year's Challenge by downloading the Ten Percent Happier app : https://10percenthappier.app.link/install. You should be prompted to join the Challenge after registering your account. If you've already downloaded the app, just open it up or visit this link to join: https://10percenthappier.app.link/NewYearsChallenge21 Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/laurie-santos-312

Karamo: How To Actually Do Self-Love

New Year's Series Episode 3. We talk with Karamo about how to practice self-love--and why doing so is the opposite of selfish.   Karamo was the first out gay Black man on reality TV when he appeared on MTV's The Real World: Philadelphia in 2004. But then he left TV and found out he was a father. He got custody of his son, adopted his son's half-brother, and worked for a decade as a social worker before returning to the media world. He's now the Culture expert on Netflix's blockbuster reboot of Queer Eye. He also hosts his own podcast and is the author of a memoir as well as a children's book, which he co-wrote with his son.   In today's conversation, we talk about why, for Karamo, learning to love himself started with learning to love his first name; how he overcame negative messages inside his abusive childhood home; why men struggle so much with the concept of self-love; and the areas in his own life where he struggles the most to practice what he preaches.    How to join the New Year's Challenge: Join the New Year's Challenge by downloading the Ten Percent Happier app: https://10percenthappier.app.link/install. You should be prompted to join the Challenge after registering your account.   If you've already downloaded the app, just open it up or visit this link to join: https://10percenthappier.app.link/NewYearsChallenge21   Where to find Karamo Brown online:  Website: http://karamobook.com   Social Media: ·        Twitter: https://twitter.com/Karamo ·        Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/pages/category/Personal-Blog/Karamo-Brown-Page-227323621184576/ ·        Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/karamo ·        YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/user/Karamobrown ·        Podcast: https://luminary.link/PPiQNuwwicb Full Show Notes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/karamo-311

The Scientific Case for Self-Compassion | Chris Germer

New Year's Series Episode 2. We talk with Chris Germer about the scientifically-proven benefits of self-compassion; how to practice self-compassion in your life; the disutility of shame; and the connection between self-compassion and compassion for others. Oh, and we also take some listener voicemails.   Chris Germer is a clinical psychologist and lecturer on psychiatry at Harvard Medical School. He also co-developed a highly impactful program called Mindful Self-Compassion, which has been taught to over 100,000 people across the world.   How to join the New Year's Challenge: Join the New Year's Challenge by downloading the Ten Percent Happier app : https://10percenthappier.app.link/install. You should be prompted to join the Challenge after registering your account.   If you've already downloaded the app, just open it up or visit this link to join: https://10percenthappier.app.link/NewYearsChallenge21   Where to find Chris Germer online:  Website: https://chrisgermer.com   Social Media: ·        Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/CenterForMSC ·        Chris's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/christophergermerphd/ ·        Center for Mindful Self Compassion Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/centerformindfulselfcompassion/ ·        YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCObLXaQeAfuhSLPf3IW5Adw Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/chris-germer-310

The Ultimate New Year's Resolution | Susan Piver and Jeff Warren

<p>New Year's Series Episode 1. We talk with expert meditation teachers Susan Piver and Jeff Warren about a radical approach to the new year: self-compassion. Susan and Jeff help introduce the New Year's Meditation Challenge launching in the Ten Percent Happier app. And we respond to listener voicemail questions about how to operationalize self-love in our everyday lives. That's right, we're going all-in on self-love: leaning into the cheese, diving into the fondue, surfing the brie (a phrase that you'll hear one of our guests today coin in real time). But I want to be clear: this is not sap for the sake of sap -- this is sap for the sake of science, and sanity.  As tens of millions of us go about the annual, humiliating ritual of making and then abandoning New Year's resolutions, there is ample evidence that you are more likely to achieve your long-term goals if you pursue those goals not out of self-loathing or shame (which is the not-so-subtle subtext of the whole 'New Year, New You' slogan) but instead with self-love -- or self-compassion. So we have a whole bonanza of programming for you. First, our New Year's Series starts today here on the podcast. Over the next few weeks, we've got a blockbuster lineup, including scientists, meditation teachers, and Karamo, star of the hit Netflix show Queer Eye and a vocal proponent of self-love.    How to join the New Year's Challenge: ·        Download the Ten Percent Happier app directly in the Apple App Store (for iPhone/iPad): http://apple.co/1V7sqo9 or the Google Play store (for Android phones): https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.changecollective.tenpercenthappier  ·        If you are new to Ten Percent Happier, tap Get Started to register an account. (If you already have an account you'll need to tap Sign In at the bottom of the screen.) ·        You should be prompted to Join the Challenge after registering your account. Just tap on the Join Challenge button and follow the prompts.  ·        If you don't join the Challenge during registration, within the app tap the Join Challenge banner at the bottom of the screen and follow the prompts.  ·        If you don't see Join Challenge in the app you can also join on a mobile device by tapping this link: https://10percenthappier.app.link/NewYearsChallenge21 Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/newyear-challenge-kickoff-309</p>

The Anti-Diet | Evelyn Tribole (January, 2020)

<p>I, like many people, have the potential to get pretty dysregulated around food and body image. A lot of men don't talk about this stuff, but there is plenty of evidence that this is a unisex issue. Especially during the holidays, when we're surrounded by treats and stress-eating because we can't see our family, or we can -- and they're making us crazy.  This interview you're about to hear changed my life. That's an overused phrase, but in this case, it happens to be true. I came into this conversation with a rather hostile attitude toward my own body, filled with unrealistic expectations and unsustainable restrictions. Over the course of this encounter, you will hear my mind start to change. And ever since this interview was recorded, about a year ago, I have been working one-on-one with my guest, Evelyn Tribole, on these issues.  Evelyn is the co-creator of something called "Intuitive Eating," which you can think of as kind of the anti-diet. Diets, she argues, do not work. Worse, they lead us to mistrust our bodies, so we misread their signals and don't even know when we're hungry or when we're full. Her approach is backed by science, and powered by mindfulness.  Where to find Evelyn Tribole online:  Website: https://www.evelyntribole.com/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/etribole Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/evelyn.tribole Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/evelyntribole/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCcfkldY3O0ly3XRh9B8Wt9A Excited about our upcoming New Year's Challenge? Download the Ten Percent Happier app today to get ready: https://10percenthappier.app.link/install Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/evelyn-tribole-repost</p>

Vulnerability: The Key to Courage | Brené Brown

Vulnerability is not something I ever personally considered to be a valuable skill to cultivate. That is, until I met today's guest, Brené Brown-- who helped me understand that being vulnerable is not about weakness, nor is it about sloppy oversharing. Instead, she argues, vulnerability is about honesty, realness, risk, and courage. All qualities that are very relevant for these turbulent times in which we are living.  Brené is a speaker, author, podcaster, professor, and researcher who has spent 2 decades studying vulnerability and courage, along with shame and empathy. She's written 5 number 1 New York Times best sellers. She's had a special on Netflix. And she's spoken to a lot of high-achieving people about the importance of vulnerability, from executive suites to the CIA to the Seattle Seahawks.  We recorded this conversation in 2019, during a simpler time… but her insights are evergreen. Where to find Brené Brown online:  Website: https://brenebrown.com Twitter: https://twitter.com/BreneBrown Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/brenebrown Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/brenebrown Excited about our upcoming New Year's Challenge? Download the Ten Percent Happier app today to get ready: https://10percenthappier.app.link/install  Full Show Notes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/brene-brown-repost

Kryptonite for the Inner Critic | Kristin Neff

I don't know about you, but there have been many times during this wrenching year where I have made my pain even worse by adding on layers and layers of self-criticism. There's a notion that is deeply ingrained in our culture that the only way to succeed -- or even to survive -- is to liberally apply an internal cattle prod. But there is research that strongly suggests that this approach simply leads to extra anxiety, and that there is a more successful approach, called self-compassion. My guest today has been at the very forefront of this research. Kristin Neff has empirically demonstrated the value of self-compassion; she has shown that it doesn't have to lead to passivity, self-absorption, or cheesiness; and, as you will hear, she has practiced what she preaches in extremely difficult circumstances in her own life. All of this makes her, in my opinion, a figure of incalculable importance. We recorded this interview back in 2019, and it contributed to a major turning point in my meditation practice and in my life. We are reposting it now because as we head into the new year, a time when many of us embark on self-improvement projects based in self-loathing, we could all use a little kryptonite for the inner critic.  Where to find Kristin Neff online:  Website: https://self-compassion.org Twitter: https://twitter.com/self_compassion  Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/selfcompassion  At this point in the holiday season, mail delivery and shipping timelines are not on your side. For a quick and meaningful gift, send a gift subscription to the Ten Percent Happier app to your friends and family! We're offering gift subscriptions at a discount through the end of this month. No shipping required - your gift will be delivered directly to your email inbox. Get a gift subscription by visiting www.tenpercent.com/gift. That's tenpercent (one word, all spelled out) dot com slash gift. Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/kristin-neff

Manure for Enlightenment | Fleet Maull

The notion of transmuting the difficult stuff in your life into something positive has become a cliche. Turning lemon into lemonades, making your mess your message, etcetera. But, as I have said many times on this show, there is a reason cliches become cliches: they're true. And it is extraordinarily helpful, in my experience, when someone can re-language and revivify an ancient truth that has been ground into platitude through rote repetition. My guest today does just that. Fleet Maull spent many years in prison on serious drug-related charges. He used that time to fuel a deep meditation practice and public service career. He's practiced for nearly five decades in the Zen, Tibetan, and Vipassana Insight traditions. He's also written a book called Radical Responsibility. In this episode, we talk about how to, in his words, turn the gnarly stuff in your life into a gift (or, as an old Buddhist expression has it, how to use your struggles as "manure for enlightenment"). On that note, midway through the interview, you'll hear Fleet reveal, in real time, and to my surprise, that he is actually in the throes of acute anguish at this very moment-- and he will talk about how this experience is fueling his practice. We also talk about: what he learned in prison about whether human nature is fundamentally good; the value of adding breathing exercises onto your meditation practice; what he means by "neurosomatic mindfulness." Where to find Fleet Maull online:  Website: www.fleetmaull.com Social Media: • Twitter: https://twitter.com/fleetmaull • Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/fleetmaull/ • Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/fleetmaull/ • YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCL_AqFCn3m6lvQTJPIx_uLg Books Mentioned: • Radical Responsibility: How to Move Beyond Blame, Fearlessly Live Your Highest Purpose, and Become an Unstoppable Force for Good by Fleet Maull: www.radicalresponsibilitybook.com • Mindfulness and Psychotherapy edited by Christopher K. Germer, Ronald D. Siegel, Paul R. Fulton: https://www.indiebound.org/book/9781593851392 People are sending more virtual gifts this holiday season to avoid putting themselves (and essential delivery workers) at risk. If you're one of them, consider helping your loved ones care for their minds by giving them a subscription to the Ten Percent Happier app. We're offering gift subscriptions at a discount through the end of this month. No shipping required - your gift will be delivered directly to your email inbox. Get a gift subscription by visiting www.tenpercent.com/gift. Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/fleet-maull-308

The Science of Emotional Intelligence | Daniel Goleman

How much would your relationships improve if you could up your emotional intelligence game? That phrase -- emotional intelligence -- entered the lexicon 25 years ago, when my friend Daniel Goleman wrote a book by the same name. And so on this episode, to mark the 25th anniversary edition of Emotional Intelligence, we're having Danny on the show. By way of background, he is a Harvard-trained psychologist who, along with other contemplative luminaries such as Joseph Goldstein, Sharon Salzberg, Jon Kabat-Zinn, and others, went to Asia and discovered meditation in the 1960s, and then made it a huge part of their lives and careers. In this conversation, we talk about: the four components of emotional intelligence, how to develop them, and why these skills matter so much during the middle of a pandemic. We also discuss: empathy and relationship management in the age of zoom; the "marshmallow test" and impulse control; a phenomenon he calls "amygdala hijacks"; and why so many Jewish kids in the sixties and seventies got turned on to Buddhism.   Where to find Daniel Goleman online:  Website: http://www.danielgoleman.info Twitter: https://twitter.com/DanielGolemanEI Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/danielgoleman Books Mentioned: Altered Traits: Science Reveals How Meditation Changes Your Mind, Brain, and Body by Richie Davidson https://www.richardjdavidson.com/altered-traits Man's Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl https://bookshop.org/books/man-s-search-for-meaning-9780807014271/9780807014271 A Force for Good: The Dalai Lama's Vision for Our World by Daniel Goleman https://bookshop.org/books/a-force-for-good-the-dalai-lama-s-vision-for-our-world/9780553394894 How much could your relationships improve if your loved ones practiced mindfulness together? For a limited time, if you buy yourself a subscription to Ten Percent Happier, we'll send you a free gift subscription to share with whomever you'd like. Note that nothing is permanent, and this offer is no exception: get it before it ends by going to www.tenpercent.com/december.  Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/daniel-goleman-307

A Meditator in the Arena | Sam Harris

Sam Harris (no relation to me, by the way -- although I wouldn't mind it) has had a formative impact on my contemplative development. He was one of the first "normal" (at least that's how I computed it, back when I was still a rather judgmental skeptic) people I met who was really into meditation, which gave me a lot of courage and inspiration to pursue the practice myself. He later helped me get into my first meditation retreat with his old friend Joseph Goldstein, which was a massively important event in my life and the beginning of a deep relationship with Joseph. For those of you who aren't familiar with Sam, he is a neuroscientist, philosopher, author, podcaster, and app founder. I first heard of him in the mid-aughts, when he wrote a book called The End of Faith, which was a jeremiad against organized religion. I was surprised to learn that he had spent, cumulatively, several years on meditation retreats. He later wrote a book which touched on those subjects, called Waking Up. That is also the name of his meditation app. But while he has one foot firmly in the contemplative world, he is also very much in the arena, mixing it up on Twitter and on his wildly popular podcast, called Making Sense, with his controversial views on hot-button issues from Trump to race to Islam. Sam really believes that the future of civilization depends on our ability to have rational conversations on thorny issues. And he has a new book called Making Sense: Conversations on Consciousness, Morality, and the Future of Humanity, in which some of his podcast conversations are revised and extended. I wanted to have him on to talk about the book, and to explore with him how somebody who is so fiercely engaged in the public square uses meditation to guide and sustain him. I suspect many of you may disagree with him on key issues -- I often wrestle with his ideas quite a bit, personally -- but no matter where you stand, I think you'll find his answers to these questions fascinating. Take Part in the New Year's Series To submit a question or share a reflection dial 646-883-8326 and leave us a voicemail. If you're outside the United States, you can email us a voice memo file in mp3 format to listener@tenpercent.com. The deadline for submissions is Monday December 7th. Where to find Sam Harris online: Website: https://samharris.org Twitter: https://twitter.com/SamHarrisOrg Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/Samharrisorg/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/samharrisorg YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCNAxrHudMfdzNi6NxruKPLw Books Mentioned: Waking Up: A Guide to Spirituality Without Religion by Sam Harris: https://bookshop.org/books/waking-up-a-guide-to-spirituality-without-religion/9781451636024 The End of Faith: Religion, Terror, and the Future of Reason by Sam Harris: https://bookshop.org/books/the-end-of-faith-religion-terror-and-the-future-of-reason/9780393327656 On Having No Head: Zen and the Rediscovery of the Obvious by Douglas E. Harding: https://bookshop.org/books/on-having-no-head/9781908774064 If you're looking for a sign that you're supposed to start actually meditating - this is it. And, you can bring a friend or family member along for the ride. For a limited time, if you buy yourself a subscription to Ten Percent Happier, we'll send you a free gift subscription to share with whomever you'd like. Note that nothing is permanent, and this offer is no exception: get it before it ends by going to www.tenpercent.com/december. Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/sam-harris-306

Secrets from the Happiness Lab | Laurie Santos

2020 has already sucked extremely hard, but we may now be entering even more difficult months ahead, as winter sets in. So we asked Professor Laurie Santos to come on. She is overflowing with science-based strategies for navigating this difficult time. This is the second episode in our 2-part series that we're semi-facetiously calling Winter is Coming. If you missed last week's episode with Zindel Segal, a pioneer in mindful treatment for depression and anxiety, go check it out. Laurie is a tenured professor at Yale, where she teaches a blockbuster course on happiness. She's also now the host of a podcast called the Happiness Lab. In the conversation, we talk about how to handle the holidays in a pandemic; how to have hard conversations with your family; combating pandemic fatigue in your own mind; the need to double down on self-care; why the things we think will make us happy probably won't; and the cultivation of JOMO and "time affluence." Take Part in the New Year's Series To submit a question or share a reflection dial 646-883-8326 and leave us a voicemail. If you're outside the United States, you can email us a voice memo file in mp3 format to listener@tenpercent.com. The deadline for submissions is Monday December 7th. Where to find Laurie Santos online: Website: https://psychology.yale.edu/people/laurie-santos Twitter: https://twitter.com/lauriesantos Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/laurie-santos-305

What You Can Learn from the Buddha's Wife and Aunt | Pamela Weiss

The women around the Buddha dropped a ton of useful wisdom, but I suspect you haven't heard much about that. Why? Why have these women been largely written out of history? And what do these hidden figures have to teach us? We're diving in on that today with Pamela Weiss, dharma teacher in the Zen and Theravada traditions and author of A Bigger Sky. Last week, we had on Bhikkhu Bodhi, who talked about the words of the Buddha. You might think of this episode as a follow-up to that one—part compelling history, part injection of approachable wisdom. In this conversation, we talk about Pamela's research into the Buddha's wife, mom, and aunt; how and why Buddhism became tilted toward the masculine; and the benefits both Pamela and I have experienced from bringing more feminine energy to our practice and life. Where to find Pamela Weiss online:  Website: https://pamelaweiss.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/PamelaWeissAuthor/ Books Mentioned: A Bigger Sky: Awakening a Fierce Feminine Buddhism by Pamela Weiss https://pamelaweiss.com/publications2 Therigatha: Selected Poems of the First Buddhist Women translated by Charles Hallisey https://bookshop.org/books/therigatha-selected-poems-of-the-first-buddhist-women/9780674427730 The First Free Women: Poems of the Early Buddhist Nuns by Matty Weingast https://bookshop.org/books/the-first-free-women-poems-of-the-early-buddhist-nuns/9781611807769 2020 has been a doozy, so this year we're offering Ten Percent Happier subscriptions at a 40% discount. Get this deal before it ends on December 1st by going to www.tenpercent.com/november.  Take Part in the New Year's Series To submit a question or share a reflection dial 646-883-8326 and leave us a voicemail. If you're outside the United States, you can email us a voice memo file in mp3 format to listener@tenpercent.com. The deadline for submissions is Monday December 7th.  Full Show Notes & Resources: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/pamela-weiss-304

Depression and Anxiety: Your Old Enemies, Your Best Friends| Zindel Segal

Winter is coming. Not to get all Game of Thrones on you, but... while there are some optimistic signs on the horizon in the form of vaccines, it looks like we could be heading into some dark months of rising caseloads and restrictions on our lifestyle. Consequently, we are launching a 2-part series to help you ride this out. Next week, we will talk to happiness researcher Laurie Santos (host of the Happiness Lab podcast). Today, my guest today is Zindel Segal, a clinical psychologist from the University of Toronto and a pioneer in developing and studying ways to use mindfulness for depression and anxiety. While not all of us will experience clinical depression or anxiety in the coming months, we may well experience significant doses of sadness and worry. In this conversation, we talk about: what the science shows about the benefits of meditation for depression and anxiety; the importance of establishing and maintaining routines as a form of antidepressant; the differences between depression and anxiety; and how to treat depression like an old friend. Where to find Zindel Segal online: Website: https://www.utsc.utoronto.ca/psych/person/zindel-segal Twitter: https://twitter.com/zindelsegal Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/Zindel-Segal-955303284518859/ Book Mentioned: Lost Connections by Johann Hari: https://thelostconnections.com 2020 has been a doozy, so this year we're offering Ten Percent Happier subscriptions at a 40% discount. Get this deal before it ends on December 1st by going to www.tenpercent.com/november. Take Part in the New Year's Series To submit a question or share a reflection dial 646-883-8326 and leave us a voicemail. If you're outside the United States, you can email us a voice memo file in mp3 format to listener@tenpercent.com. The deadline for submissions is Monday December 7th. Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/zindel-segal-303