Why Relaxation Feels Impossible for Mothers – and How to Finally Feel at Ease

About this episode

A Most-Listened-To 2025 Episode - If you’ve ever thought, “I don’t think I’ve ever met a relaxed woman”, this episode will show you why and how to finally feel more at ease. To close the year, we’re re-releasing one of our most listened-to episodes of 2025, and it’s no wonder it struck such a chord. Speaking to many of you in our community, one theme comes up again and again: women feel permanently rushed, tense and overwhelmed. Relaxation doesn’t just feel unlikely, it feels unimaginable. And most of us have no idea how to get from “constantly on edge” to “at ease in our own bodies.” In this grounding and beautifully honest episode, therapist and author Nicola Jane Hobbs explores what it really means to become a “relaxed woman” not as a luxury, but as a way of living that’s rooted in nervous system safety, self-permission and gentleness. Nicola shares why relaxation feels so rare, how guilt gets woven into rest, and what begins to change when you start feeling safe in your own skin. She also opens up about her first year of motherhood, the tenderness, the disorientation, the identity shift and how it transformed everything she thought she knew about rest. In this conversation, you’ll learn: Why your nervous system resists slowing down and how to help it feel safe How guilt became tied to rest and why guilt can be a sign you’re growing Tiny, realistic ways to bring rest into your day without more time or childcare Why can’t we become relaxed women alone, and how to build the support you need Remember to subscribe to Motherkind — it helps more mothers find the show and keeps our community growing. If you liked this episode, listen to this next: MOMENT | Calm your nervous system in seconds with this technique Feeling different since becoming a mother? Get clarity on who you’re becoming now and  download your FREE Matrescence Cheat Sheet Connect with Zoe: Follow Zoe on Instagram  Get Zoe’s Sunday Times bestselling book, 'Motherkind: A New Way to Thrive in a World of Endless Expectations’ This Motherkind episode is sponsored by: Headline sponsor Wild Nutrition, the brand raising the bar for women’s supplements. Want to feel the Food-Grown difference yourself? Get 50% off for three months at wildnutrition.com/motherkind. Ts and Cs apply. For a £100 sponsored job credit, visit Indeed.com/ Motherkind Get 40% off a Calm premium subscription at calm.com/motherkind Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices