Why We Fall for the Wrong People - Jessica Baum - #1020

About this episode

Jessica Baum is a psychotherapist, relationship expert, and author. What does it actually take to feel safe in a relationship? If you’ve had chaotic partners or a past where you never knew where you stood, safety can feel like work instead of something natural. So how do you rebuild that sense of security, and what steps help you learn to feel safe with someone again? Expect to learn what the best definition of safety in a relationship is, what some of the signs for someone feeling unsafe in a relationship from their nervous system is, the common protection strategies and inner protectors people develop, why we confuse independence with strength, why romantic relationships reflect early attachment wounds, why anxious and avoidant people find each other so magnetic, how to retrain the body to feel safe after chaos and much more… Timestamps: (0:00) How Can We Create a Sense of Safety? (4:53) Are Independent Women Becoming Disconnected with Their Bodies? (13:26) The Power of Slowing Down: Why Our Nervous Systems Needs It (19:18) Why We Confuse Familiarity with Safety, Even When It Hurts Us (36:47) Why Feeling Safe Feels So Vulnerable (41:11) Anchoring, Co-Regulation and Reaching the Ventral State (47:11) Healing the Wounds You Inherited (54:02) Practical Tools For Building Safety in Your Relationship (58:42) Why Rupture and Repair is the Foundation of a Healthy Relationship (01:04:23) Should You Stay, or Should You Leave? (01:10:36) Where to Find Jessica Sponsors: Modern Wisdom Merch available now - https://www.mwmerch.com 🚀 Live until Tuesday, 18th Nov See discounts for all the products I use and recommend: https://chriswillx.com/deals Get up to 60% off during Gymshark's Black Friday Sale starting Nov 16th at https://gym.sh/modernwisdom (use code MODERNWISDOM10) Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period from Shopify at https://shopify.com/modernwisdom Get 60% off an annual plan of Incogni at https:/incogni.com/modernwisdom Extra Stuff: Check out Jessica's book: https://jessicabaumlmhc.com/safe Jessica's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jessicabaumlmhc Get my free reading list of 100 books to read before you die: https://chriswillx.com/books Try my productivity energy drink Neutonic: https://neutonic.com/modernwisdom - Check out Jessica Baum's new book "SAFE" here: https://jessicabaumlmhc.com/interviewJessica's Socials: https://www.facebook.com/consciousrelationshipgroup?mibextid=wwXIfrhttps://www.instagram.com/jessicabaumlmhc?igsh=NTc4MTIwNjQ2YQ==https://www.linkedin.com/in/jessica-baum-lmhc-cap-038a1538?utm_source=share&utm_campaign=share_via&utm_content=profile&utm_medium=ios_app Episodes You Might Enjoy: #577 - David Goggins - This Is How To Master Your Life: ⁠⁠⁠lnkfi.re/SN-Goggins⁠⁠⁠ #712 - Dr Jordan Peterson - How To Destroy Your Negative Beliefs: ⁠⁠⁠lnkfi.re/SN-Peterson⁠⁠⁠ #700 - Dr Andrew Huberman - The Secret Tools To Hack Your Brain: ⁠⁠⁠lnkfi.re/SN-Huberman⁠⁠ - Get In Touch: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/chriswillx Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/chriswillx YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/modernwisdompodcast Email: https://chriswillx.com/contact - Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices