Beginning For Beginners with Hamish Blake & James van Cuylenburg

About this episode

Have we ruined the art of being a beginner? 💌 To join our journaling club, with 9,900+ others, subscribe to my imperfect email - https://www.theimperfects.com.au/sign-up-to-our-newsletter/ With guest host Hamish Blake, we welcome back friend (family?) of the show James van Cuylenburg to expertly guide us through beginners’ mindset: what is it, how can we harness it, and what is the best way to model it for our kids? In a time where kids are wanting to be the GOAT of a sport they learnt about yesterday, we’re winding back the clock to reframe the anger and frustration of trying a new skill, and to learn just how great persistence is for our identity. James leads us through why we avoid discomfort, the role of dopamine and reward, and when to allow ourselves to quit something. This episode contains lots of helpful advice for anyone wanting to adopt a beginners’ mindset, and embrace ‘friction maxing’ as their next expedition into embracing discomfort. Chapters 00:00:00 The Beginner's Mindset 00:01:32 Childhood Choir Days & The Pressure to Be the GOAT 00:10:32 Frictionless Society: The Dopamine Problem 00:22:08 Friction Maxxing: Inviting Discomfort Back In 00:27:49 Process Over Product: Finding Joy in the Journey 00:33:51 Persistence vs Endurance: The Art of Sticking With It 00:49:20 The Zone of Proximal Development: The 5% Rule 00:53:03 When Kids Get Angry: Co-Regulation & Small Wins 00:56:22 Shame vs Motivation: The Choir Director's Mistake 00:59:13 James Van Cuylenburg's New TV Show & Final Thoughts 🫖If you liked this episode, you might also love James van Cuylenburg - Love Your Wonky Bricks - https://bit.ly/3VZ1O26 James van Cuylenburg - What’s Your Relationship Status - https://bit.ly/4jFdIrF Hamish Blake - Let’s Talk About Self Doubt - https://bit.ly/4jKDwCQ Dr Emily - You’re Full of Grit - https://bit.ly/3ULXe6W Nedd Brockman - The Man, The Myth, The Neddgend - https://bit.ly/4ilxYvX The Academy of Imperfection - Dr Billy Garvey, Paediatrician - https://bit.ly/4Bpwmdn Dr Billy Garvey - From Boyz II Men - https://bit.ly/4zpm6QQ 📺 Things to watch Unskilled Adult - https://bit.ly/4dYgJQi 🎧 Things to listen to You’re A Good Kid - https://bit.ly/4z9u1Sp 📚Research to research Gretchen Rubin’s work on process over product - https://bit.ly/4z6UTCu Angela Duckworth’s work on grit - https://bit.ly/3WAhuJf 🚲 Things to check out Blue Derby Pods Ride - https://bit.ly/4irThwd Engage 1 on 1 Psychology - https://bit.ly/3Wev2dg 🩷To host your own Vulnerabilitea House, purchase here - theimperfects.com.au/shop 🩵To purchase our journal (or your novel) My Imperfect Life, click here - theimperfects.com.au/shop 🩵To join our subscriber community, A Little More Imperfects, follow this link - patreon.com/theimperfects 🩷 AND you can subscribe to A Little More Imperfects through Apple Podcasts http://apple.co/theimperfects The Imperfects is not a licensed mental health service and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice, treatment or assessment. The advice given in this episode is general in nature, but if you’re struggling, please see a healthcare professional, or call lifeline on 13 11 14.