How Not to Ruin Your Relationships | Drs. John & Julie Gottman

About this episode

<p>If you care about your long term health and happiness, the quality of your relationships is an area you should focus on. And the good news here is that love – as it applies to friends, family, and romantic partners – is not a factory setting, but instead a skill. Drs. John and Julie Gottman are the perfect guests to talk about how to cultivate good relationships in your life. </p> <p><br /></p> <p>World-renowned for his work on marital stability and divorce prediction, Dr. John Gottman has conducted over 40 years of breakthrough research with thousands of couples. He is the co-founder of <a href="https://www.gottman.com/" rel= "noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">The Gottman Institute</a> and <a href="https://affectivesoftware.com/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">Affective Software Inc.</a> as well as author of over 200 published academic articles and author or co-author of more than 40 books, including The New York Times bestseller <a href="https://www.gottman.com/product/the-seven-principles-for-making-marriage-work/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank"><em>The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work</em></a>. </p> <p><br /></p> <p>Dr. Julie Gottman is the Co-Founder and President of <a href= "https://www.gottman.com/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target= "_blank">The Gottman Institute</a> and Co-Founder of <a href= "https://affectivesoftware.com/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target= "_blank">Affective Software, Inc</a>. A highly respected clinical psychologist and author, she is sought internationally by media and organizations as an expert advisor on marriage, domestic violence, gay and lesbian adoption, same-sex marriage, and parenting issues. She is the co-creator of the immensely popular The Art and Science of Love weekend workshop for couples and she also co-designed the national clinical training program in Gottman Method Couples Therapy. </p> <p><br /></p> <p>This episode explores: how to talk (and listen) to your partner in moments of conflict; what to do before you start trying to solve a problem together; why "there's no such thing as constructive criticism;" the details of John's research findings, which have allowed him to predict with stunning accuracy whether a couple will get divorced; how the Gottmans themselves do when it comes to operationalizing their findings/advice; how and why betrayal occurs; when a couple should consider separating; the role mindfulness can play in healthy relationships; and the role of humor in relationships.</p> <p><br /></p> <p><em>Content warning: There are a few mentions of sensitive topics, most notably domestic violence, which Julie discusses for a few minutes towards the end of the interview. </em></p> <p><br /></p> <p><strong>Full Shownotes:</strong> <a href= "https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/" rel= "noopener noreferrer" target= "_blank">https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/john-julie-gottman-418</a></p> <p><br /></p>