How Not to Ruin Your Relationships | Drs. John & Julie Gottman

About this episode

<p><em>New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers.</em></p> <p>---</p> <p>What 40 years of research tells us about how to cultivate good relationships in our lives.</p> <p><br /></p> <p>World-renowned for his work on marital stability and divorce prediction, Dr. John Gottman has conducted over 40 years of breakthrough research with thousands of couples. He is the co-founder of <a href="https://www.gottman.com/" rel= "noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">The Gottman Institute</a> and <a href="https://affectivesoftware.com/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">Affective Software Inc.</a> as well as author of over 200 published academic articles and author or co-author of more than 40 books, including The New York Times bestseller <a href="https://www.gottman.com/product/the-seven-principles-for-making-marriage-work/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work</a>. </p> <p><br /></p> <p>Dr. Julie Gottman is the Co-Founder and President of <a href= "https://www.gottman.com/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target= "_blank">The Gottman Institute</a> and Co-Founder of <a href= "https://affectivesoftware.com/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target= "_blank">Affective Software, Inc</a>. A highly respected clinical psychologist and author, she is sought internationally by media and organizations as an expert advisor on marriage, domestic violence, gay and lesbian adoption, same-sex marriage, and parenting issues. She is the co-creator of the immensely popular The Art and Science of Love weekend workshop for couples and she also co-designed the national clinical training program in Gottman Method Couples Therapy. </p> <p><br /></p> <p>In this episode we talk about:</p> <ul> <li>how to talk (and listen) to your partner in moments of conflict</li> <li>what to do before you start trying to solve a problem together</li> <li>why "there's no such thing as constructive criticism" </li> <li>the details of John's research findings, which have allowed him to predict with stunning accuracy whether a couple will get divorced</li> <li>how the Gottmans themselves do when it comes to operationalizing their findings/advice</li> <li>how and why betrayal occurs</li> <li>when a couple should consider separating </li> <li>the role mindfulness can play in healthy relationships</li> <li>and the role of humor in relationships.</li> </ul> <p><br /></p> <p><br /></p> <p><br /></p> <p><strong>Related Episodes:</strong></p> <ul> <li><a href= "https://www.tenpercent.com/tph/podcast-episode/sister-true-dedication-514" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">Six Buddhist Strategies for Getting Along Better with Everyone | Sister True Dedication</a></li> <li><a href= "https://www.tenpercent.com/tph/podcast-episode/daniel-goleman-307" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">The Science of Emotional Intelligence | Daniel Goleman</a></li> <li><a href= "https://www.tenpercent.com/tph/podcast-episode/martine-batchelor-275" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">Improving Your Relationships - Buddhist Style | Martine Batchelor</a></li> </ul> <p><br /></p> <p><strong>Sign up for Dan's weekly newsletter</strong> <a href= "https://bit.ly/3QtGRqJ" rel="noopener noreferrer" target= "_blank"><strong>here</strong></a></p> <p><strong>Follow Dan on social:</strong> <a href= "https://bit.ly/3tGigG5" rel="noopener noreferrer" target= "_blank"><strong>Instagram</strong></a><strong>,</strong> <a href= "https://bit.ly/3FOA84J" rel="noopener noreferrer" target= "_blank"><strong>TikTok</strong></a></p> <p><strong>Ten Percent Happier online</strong> <a href= "https://bit.ly/46TZglY" rel="noopener noreferrer" target= "_blank"><strong>bookstore</strong></a></p> <p><strong>Subscribe to our</strong> <a href= "https://bit.ly/3FybRzD" rel="noopener noreferrer" target= "_blank"><strong>YouTube Channel</strong></a></p> <p><strong>Our favorite playlists on:</strong> <a href= "https://spoti.fi/3Qa8kMT" rel="noopener noreferrer" target= "_blank"><strong>Anxiety</strong></a><strong>,</strong> <a href= "https://spoti.fi/3MjtMxF" rel="noopener noreferrer" target= "_blank"><strong>Sleep</strong></a><strong>,</strong> <a href= "https://spoti.fi/3QvyA5J" rel="noopener noreferrer" target= "_blank"><strong>Relationships</strong></a><strong>,</strong> <a href="https://spoti.fi/3QxZASc" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank"><strong>Most Popular Episodes</strong></a></p> <p><strong>For tickets to Dan Harris: Celebrating 10 Years of 10% Happier at Symphony Space: </strong><a href= "https://www.symphonyspace.org/events/vp-dan-harris-10-happier-10-year-anniversary" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank"><strong>click here</strong></a></p> <p><br /></p> <p><strong>Full Shownotes:</strong> <a href= "https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/" rel= "noopener noreferrer" target= "_blank">https://www.tenpercent.com/tph/podcast-episode/gottmans-418-rerun</a></p> <p><br /></p> <p><strong>Additional Resources:</strong></p> <ul> <li>Download the Ten Percent Happier app today: <a href= "https://10percenthappier.app.link/install" rel= "noopener noreferrer" target= "_blank">https://10percenthappier.app.link/install</a></li> </ul> <p><br /></p>