How the Science of Attachment Can Help You Make and Keep Friends | Dr. Marisa G. Franco

About this episode

<p><em>New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers.</em></p> <p><em>---</em></p> <p><br /></p> <p>Did you know that having friends can make you less depressed? One survey found that the average American had not made a new friend in the last five years but 45% of people said they would go out of their way to make a new friend if they only knew how.   </p> <p><br /></p> <p>Our guest today, Dr. Marisa G. Franco, has written a bestselling book about how understanding your own psychological makeup and attachment style can help you make and keep friends. Franco is a psychologist and a professor at the University of Maryland. Her book is called <a href= "https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/676695/platonic-by-marisa-g-franco-phd/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank"><em>Platonic: How the Science of Attachment Can Help You Make–and Keep–Friends</em></a>.</p> <p><br /></p> <p><em>This is episode three of a four part series in which we are doing some counter programming against the typical Valentine's Day fair. </em></p> <p><br /></p> <p><strong>In this episode we talk about:</strong></p> <ul> <li>Why friendship is undervalued in our society (while romantic love is overvalued) and why this is damaging on both a societal and individual level</li> <li>The impact of technology on our relationships as explained by something called "displacement theory"</li> <li>The biological necessity of social connection and the devastating physiological and psychological impacts of loneliness </li> <li>Attachment style and its relationship to our friendships</li> <li>What you can do to make friends, including being open or vulnerable (without oversharing)</li> <li>How to reframe social rejection</li> <li>The importance of generosity</li> <li>How to handle conflict with your friends</li> <li>The difference between flaccid safety and dynamic safety in your friendships</li> <li>When to walk away from a relationship </li> <li>How to make friends across racial, gender, and socioeconomic lines</li> <li>How to deal with social anxiety</li> <li>And how our evolutionarily wired negativity bias can impact the process of making friends</li> </ul> <p><br /></p> <p><br /></p> <p><strong>Full Shownotes:</strong> <a href= "https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/marisa-g-franco-561" rel="noopener noreferrer" target= "_blank">https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/marisa-g-franco-561</a></p>